Honesty is the best policy

Public high schools and colleges are almost all back in session now. Everyone is back to learning...or are they?

I read this New York Times article and was reminded of all of the teenagers I know who have entered college. Not a single one has entered college without having to take at least one (and often times two or three) "developmental" course their first semester in college.

Who takes developmental courses, in Texas at least, is determined by a score on a placement test. Depending on how high (or how low) a person scores, they will be placed in reading, writing, and math classes. Developmental classes cost money and are required before a student is able to take regular classes in those subjects, but do not count as college credit toward their degree.

My frustration is that elementary and high schools aren't being honest with their students, thus getting them to a level of education that they think they are prepared for, but they really aren't. The kids that I have worked with are often given extremes. Either they are given messages that they can't do or be something (i.e. "You can't read." or "You'll be pregnant by the time you're 16.") or they are given false hopes (i.e. "Sure! Apply to Texas Tech." ...when they are barely scraping by with C's...or "Here's is your 100% on your research paper!" ...that is riddled with grammar errors and wouldn't pass a good 3rd grade teacher's criteria.).

We owe it to our kids to be honest with them! However, with honesty comes some work on our part. No one wants to be told they aren't good at something without love and concern to help them with it. Love takes work. Whoever is willing to speak the truth must also back it up by taking the time to help them improve. With our time-crunched schedules, I don't know how many people are really willing to do that.

Several years ago Mike* (now 20) had just struggled through high school and graduated through an alternative program. His belief was the school kept passing him because they wanted to get rid of him. His theory may not have been too far-fetched.

I was appalled when he came home one day in 11th grade, extremely proud, showing me his research paper with 100% written on the front. His English teacher had given him 100% without any comments or corrections whatsoever. The misplaced periods, mis-spelled words, lack of capitalization at the beginning of a sentence, fragmented sentences, etc. did not deserve a C, let alone a 100%! Although I did talk to the school about the dis-service they were doing to their students, I never was able to find out if that teacher was reprimanded or even spoken to. I was frustrated not just at what was happening to that particular student, but what was happening to all of the students who were led to believe they were doing 100% work.

When Mike entered Community College after nearly dropping out of high school, but finishing through an alternative school, he needed three developmental classes. The college counselor we talked to would not allow him to take any more than those 9 hours. Therefore, his entire first semester did not count for anything except catching him up to where he needed to be.

I have always been honest with him about his academics...often to the point of hurting his feelings (as he has informed me). My goal was not to convince him he was inadequate, but to let him know that others weren't being honest with him and if he wanted to succeed, he needed to work hard because he hadn't been properly prepared.

Though he really enjoyed his first year of college, he did not go back. He does, however, always stay in touch. He calls when he is looking for an honest answer about something. He has also learned that he can be a resource to others. His phone calls often are about trying to help someone else get tutoring for their son or legal help for their brother or dental services for their child. I believe that despite his hurt feelings at times, he wants the truth. He wants to help others with the truth. I think what he realizes is that there is love behind the truth.

I wish our school systems would figure this out. There is a lot of work to do in our schools these days. Giving children inflated ideas about their current abilities will only hurt worse later. We need to be honest and we need to help them work toward the level of achievement of which they are perfectly capable.

*name has been changed

Remembering our tainted past

Anything to do with racism always catches my eye. This morning I noticed a video with the old-fashioned, stereotypical images of Black people on my New York Times email. Interesting video. Evidently, Black people are now beginning to collect memorabilia of the Jim Crow era in order to remember the past and to start the conversation about racism. Up until now, the main people with this kind of memorabilia were White people (I'm not sure why...maybe because it had been passed down and then kept as "antiques"...maybe Black people couldn't bear to remember the pain and suffering of their relatives...I don't know).

NY Times Article

I like the idea of collecting it, though. I had never thought about it like that before. I am one of those White people who are repulsed by the idea of having those symbols in my home. I don't want to be associated with Jim Crow or lead anyone to think that I might be happy about our past. But after listening to this video and reading the article, wouldn't it be a great way to open up the conversation on racism--past and present!

I think it would be interesting to gather the signs, symbols, dolls, etc. from the Jim Crow era and display them, but also to gather items that are still displayed today...to point out how racism has continued (and still continues) over the years.

I can remember going home to Missouri a few years ago. I had taken some [Black] teenagers with me. As we visited an older lady's home, she pointed out a mammy doll of hers. I remember feeling embarrassment sweep over me that she would have it in her house, for one, but it also bothered me that she had no shame in pointing it out and talking about it like it she was proud to have it. Though I usually talk about that stuff with the teenagers afterward, I don't remember saying anything to them that day. I couldn't believe she had done that! I wondered how that made them feel. The lady was probably in her 70's or 80's. The doll was one she had as a child. That fact didn't make me any less uncomfortable...probably because I don't think she kept the doll to be a constant reminder of the ugliness of the past. But, still, I can write that off as her time period.

Moving into a more current example, however, I am reminded of my own childhood. Sometime after 4th grade (sometime in the 80's), I remember getting a doll from my aunt. It was a type of "rag doll"...made out of black material, complete with little braids sticking out of the top of her head. My aunt gave it to me for my birthday and called it my "nigger baby" or my "pickaninny doll." She thought it was the cutest thing and so did I. It wasn't until I was talking to a Black friend of mine in college that it hit me how horrible it was. (Side note: It is important to note here that I did not grow up with any people of color. My first real interactions were in college. In fact, the first time I ever remember seeing a Black person was when I was in the 7th grade and we were staying in a hotel in Kansas City). As I started to proudly claim to my friend that I did own something other than White items, my jaw dropped when I started to tell him about my "ni. . ." I remember stopping mid-word and realizing how derogatory that word was.

Still today, when I drive through Arkansas to get to Missouri, I see confederate flags being sold in stores. I did not know the significance of a confederate flag until fairly recently--over the last 11 years. As I educate myself and the listen to conversations and feelings from people of color, the more I learn and begin to understand.

It would do us good to have conversation pieces that could open the race dialogue. For White people like me, it would be good for us to have the conversations and realize racism is not a thing of the past. For all of us, I think it's always important to know and understand our past...the good and the bad...so we can learn from it and recognize when we begin repeating the same mistakes.

Struggling??

I read an article in the New York Times about how Americans are feeling the financial pinch of higher gas prices, insurance rates, adjustable rate mortgages, etc.

Let's be real for a second. Yes, I know costs are rising in many different areas. But, are we really hurting?? Who in our country is really "suffering" because of these higher prices? I just don't see it myself. Although I know there may be a few areas people are cutting back, I don't see it affecting a lot of our choices.

The New York Times article talked about forclosures on houses...over 40,000 in Texas in the first quarter of this year. Are the forclosures a sign of a depressed economy or a sign of people overspending and trying to be better than the Jones's, but now they can't keep up?

Several months ago I read an article in the Dallas Morning News that talked about how the majority of the forclosures were in the wealthiest county...the northern suburbs of Dallas. It talked about people around my age (mid 30's) who had purchased extremely large homes, big name cars, extravagant vacations, and then lost their job due to cutbacks and instability in the market. Some of the people were having to "cut back" and live on much "smaller" (still six figure) incomes. The couple interviewed said they were "embarrassed" to now drive a Volvo and Chrysler instead of a Mercedes and Cadillac.

I'm sorry, but I really don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I don't consider that "suffering" or "struggling."

In our country today, do we know anything about moderation? I'm not saying that I make better choices than the rest. I just subscribed to a two-year contract for satellite. That may not have been the wisest choice for me. Since I'm not bringing home a 6-figure salary, purchasing satellite television could probably compare to the people who bought too big of a home. If my income drops at all, I will still be commited to a 2-year contract and it would be a stretch for me to continue the payments. It's not like I couldn't do without enhanced TV. In my 34 years of life, I have never had any kind of cable service so I really don't "need" it now.

What do you have that you don't really need? And how could you use that money you would save?

I found out the other day that I could save $79,000, by paying more on my mortgage each month and paying my house off in 15 years instead of 30! Can I be disciplined enough to put off my immediate gratification wants? Do you know what I could do with $79,000! The real question is, though, not what could I do, but what will I do with it? Will I just chalk it up to having more money for cable, eating out, movies, and other personal entertainment or will I use it for helping a child get through college, contributing to public radio, or contributing to any other community-focused non-profit?

I know it's ridiculous to ask some top-level executives making up to $150,000 per day to give up their huge salaries in order to offer low-wage earners making $11,000 per year a better opportunity. We all love and can justify our money too much for that. However, for those of us who are a little more socially conscious, I think it's important for us to look at what we make and what we spend and realize how frivolous we can be and then adjust accordingly.