Accessible Administrators

Speaking *to* parents is a job. Speaking *with* parents is a talent.

I, along with two other parents from our After-School Academy, attended the Dallas Achieves meeting at North Dallas High School. I suppose the meeting was meant to inform. As the meeting started, the school board member welcomed everyone and expressed his appreciation for the "wonderful principals, teachers, and kids." One of the parents with me, fairly audibly to those of us sitting around her spoke up to say, "and PARENTS!"

The school board member went on to talk about how "the community needs to be involved and they (as if the community wasn't sitting in the same room) need to be more informed." It was at that point I got worried that we were in yet another high level meeting where parents are talked at and not listened to.

The first 45 minutes of the meeting was dry, with a power point with small words I couldn't read. The presenter spoke very high level and over our head, "We just bought back $4 mil in bonds. ...We will have a 'wireless overlay.' ...We have our 21st Century grant." I really don't think the parents cared much about the district patting themselves on the back. The parents were there for more basic reasons...their children.

Finally, they opened the floor. From that point forward, I was impressed. Parents were allowed to submit questions via a card or they could speak at the microphone. The two parents I was with voiced their concerns:

Parent 1: I would like teachers to contact me when a problem arises...not wait until two or three problems arise. If they would contact me, I could deal with the problem the first time! The school needs better communication with the parents.

Parent 2: We just moved into the Dallas district from Richardson. My girls were good students. Now, all of a sudden, they are going down hill. One of my children is a special needs student. I would like to know what programs are available through the district that I could get her into. I would like to know for both of them what the school is doing to improve because I don't want my girls getting out of high school not knowing how to read, write, and add...*if* they even make it that far. I don't want them being a statistic and dropping out because they can't do the work and don't have the skills.

I was impressed with the way the principals from North Dallas High School and a few middle schools responded. (I don't know where the principal from our elementary school (J.W. Ray) was...and that concerns me). The principals listened and addressed questions. They assured us they would contact us to follow up if we submitted a card. But more importantly...

Dr. Eduardo Hernandez, principal of North Dallas High School, gave us all his cell number and encouraged ALL of us (elementary, middle, and high school parents) to contact him at any time via phone call or text. Texting will allow him to get back with us quickly, he assured us. He promised to respond as long as it was before 7:00. After 7:00, he requested that we respect the time he spends with his own daughter.

Wow.

I spoke with him afterwards. He was just as personable then as he was during the meeting. He invited me to serve on their Site-Based Decision Making board. He said he takes it off campus to a Starbucks to make it more friendly for everyone. (Gotta love that!). Plus, I found out, he lives in my neighborhood--grew up there and now has moved back.

Dr. Hernandez has the talent of speaking *with* parents. I plan to work with him so that our After-School Academy for elementary kids doesn't stop at 5th grade, but works toward getting them toward the goal of college. To do that, I need to know where they are headed and what they need to prepare for now to get them ready. I believe Dr. H will work with us in that.

I would like to see more administrators be that accessible and neighborhood/parent friendly.

Being culturally sensitive...or simply increasing their bottom line??

I was reading something about multicultural marketing that made me think...

I've seen/heard people get upset because certain ethnic groups aren't targeted. But then I've also seen/heard people get upset because a certain ethnic group *is* targeted, but in a way that is offensive to people within that culture.

For example, I heard a discussion about a new McDonald's commercial that has an R&B singer much like the ones on the radio...but made into a McDonald's song. There was a mixture of feelings coming from the African-American people who were having the discussion. Some thought it was humorous; some were appalled.

As people have spoken out about the diversity within our society and executives have finally begun to take notice, marketing to the different groups has gotten a lot of attention. Companies have begun to figure out that they need to "market to" different groups of people. Many have even hired people of the different "target ethnicities" to help them with these ideas. Companies are learning that they need to be sensitive to the different ethnic groups and make sure to include and represent them in their marketing ads.

However, is being culturally sensitive in a marketing message what people of the different ethnic groups really asking for??

As I thought about it, "marketing to" is different than listening to, learning from, and adjusting because of.

...because when I "market to" you, I am selling you something...and, thus, I benefit and my bottom line increases. The person being "marketed to," for the most part, is no better off as a result.

Isn't much of the problem in our society right now because we've all become commercialized and want, want, want because we have all been over-marketed to spend, spend, spend and buy, buy, buy?? We see unhealthy foods that we want, despite the fact that we are overweight...we see "toys" (yes, your new iphone counts as a toy!!) that we (or our kids) want that we can't afford...we are mesmerized by images and behaviors that aren't healthy for us to see or emulate...

I have a hard time believing people truly want to be inundated with these types of behaviors.

Instead I wonder...is it that people of different cultural groups are upset because those unhealthy behaviors are not marketed to them?...or is what they're really saying is "I want you to listen to me, learn from me, and adjust because of me???"

Hear me, see me, don't ignore me...and don't patronize me!

The Obama groundswell efforts continue

The election is over and we have a new president...or we will have in 69 days.

I am excited about President-Elect Obama. Barack Obama picked a team of people that ran an absolutely amazing campaign. He inspired young and old alike. He rose above many of the stereotypical and racist comments and insinuations throughout the campaign. His campaign staff used technology in ways no other campaign thought of. He encouraged all of us to believe that WE are the government...that it takes US to make change happen.

But now he's elected. Will those same inspiring efforts continue?

What's exciting to me is that I don't see this changing!

I am still getting emails from http://www.moveon.org/ asking me to host house parties so that we can come together and offer our ideas to the incoming administration.

Color of Change is still collecting our stories...stories that help define who we are as a nation and what we are going through as individuals who make up this nation...with the goal of informing our political system.

Barack Obama's staff continues his ground swell efforts through the internet by allowing people to apply for jobs in his administration, share personal stories with him, or just keep up with what's going on with his transition.

I have high hopes that these groundswell efforts will continue and we will continue moving toward the day when the United States is not about one person in charge, but is a collective of voices from all different perspectives, socioeconomic statuses, ages, religious beliefs, and genders.

Over-working to make our life easy

A friend sent me this anecdote that really made me think about my life.

Why is it that we work so hard to have something that we could've had all along?? Why do we feel the need to convince others that our long and frustrating days will lead us (and them) to something better? What if we listened to people like this man and learned from him??

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Life: Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City ! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

Learning how to love people

At the Faith-Based Forum I attended today, non-profits gathered to interact and work on improving the way we gather data that informs our outcomes and influences our funding.

In the second half of the forum, we were able to listen to a panel of people from foundations who provide grant money to non-profits. This was set up in order for us to hear directly from the foundations to gain a better understanding of what they look for when reviewing grant proposals.

When it came time to ask questions, one gentleman in the audience respectfully asked how we, as non-profits, can demonstrate to the foundations that we are truly thankful and grateful to them. He also wondered how we could demonstrate our care and concern for them as valuable people without them feeling like we have an agenda or have our hand out to them asking them for money.

The panelists gave answers like,

"We want to be able to offer you resources, but we also want to learn from you. Create a dialogue with us."

"Don't come around just when you want something. Maintain the relationship. Invite us to some of your events so that we can see what you are doing."

"Continue the relationship with us even after the funding is over."

"Don't send Christmas gifts. ...Seriously."

Though this was all good advice and it was good to learn how to interact with funders, I wonder how often people reverse that process. How often do we create panels of people in the communities we "serve" and genuinely ask the community serious questions like,

"How can we, as non-profits, demonstrate our care and concern for you without coming across like we only want you to increase our numbers and our outcomes?"

I wonder if it the answers from the community wouldn't be very similar to the answers from the people with foundation money. Re-read the answers from above (with a few slight adaptations):

"We want to accept your resources, but we also want to learn from you and we want you to learn from us. Create a dialogue with us."

"Don't come around just when you want to give something. Maintain a relationship with us year-round. Invite us to events you have and come to events we have."

"Continue the relationship with us even when you don't have a 'program' you want to offer us."

"Don't send Christmas gifts. Seriously. Don't assume we always want charity."

It seems to me that the desires would be pretty similar. The monetary wealth is very different, but the desire for dignity and respect no matter how much money you make remains the same.

Have we asked the question?

Are we willing to hear and follow through on what people have to say??

Taking time to listen to parents

The following opinion column was brought to my attention recently:
We have to tackle education's urban crisis

Here is my commentary to Ms. Creighton's opinion:
Contrary to Ms. Creighton’s belief, at the Turner Courts housing development in South Dallas, it became clear to me that parents cared about their children as nine out of the twenty-one families (including two fathers) of our After-School Academy filed in for the monthly parent meeting. (One parent who usually attends was at the emergency room with her son; another, who is pregnant, is on doctor-ordered bed rest. Four others had never missed a meeting before this evening and continue to be in constant contact with us as they utilize our computer lab during the day, pick up their children, attend a job skills program we are offering, or simply speak when we see each other in the neighborhood.)

During the meeting, the After-School Academy coordinator Wyshina Harris, a parent and a former resident of Turner Courts, started the meeting off with reminders, then moved on to discuss an experience she had at her daughter’s middle school where her daughter was sent home for wearing brown knee socks and brown plaid shoes with her khaki pants and white shirt uniform. Her 11-year old daughter was accused of dressing like she was “going to the club” by one of her teachers. Wyshina explained that she had used the internet, available at the After-School Academy, to figure out how the official dress code (which does not mention the color of socks or shoes a child must wear) and then register a complaint against the school for being more concerned about her child’s socks and shoes than her education and against the teacher for making an inappropriate comment to her child.

Wyshina went on to explain hers and Sylvia’s frustration with the local elementary school when they tried to visit. She explained that the school has called both of them several times for discipline issues related to their boys, but when they went to visit unexpectedly in hopes of checking in on their children, they were told they needed an appointment. Wyshina used the internet, once again, to go online and fill out a volunteer application. Since the school would not allow her in as a parent, she decided volunteer so that they have to let her in. For the parents who don’t work during the day or work in a flexible job like she does, she encouraged other parents to do the same.

Sylvia shared another experience she has been having, explaining that last year she visited the school to get her son tested so that she could know how to help him. After visiting the school weekly for two months, they finally did test him, diagnosing him with ADHD. She took him to the school health services building to see a counselor two times a week until the summer when the counselor’s schedule did not work with her own. She then found out that the counselor had moved to a different center. She believes she must now go through another referral process to get him back in. However, her frustration also lies in the fact that despite his behavior issues, his teacher assured Sylvia performance was not a concern. However, after receiving his Iowa Test of Basic Skills (ITBS) in October of this year, at which he scored “below average” in every subject, she is now being asked by his current teacher why she didn’t hold him back a year.

These testimonies prompted other similar stories—positive and negative. All nodded when a parent started talking about her fear and concern about living in the “projects.” Parents began describing how they had made the best of the situation by keeping their children indoors until they found ways to get involved in a way that was safe for their family. One lady coaches cheerleading in the community and has a high school son preparing for college. Another parent explained how she wanted the best for her kids as well and asked for information about how to enroll in GED so that she can eventually go into the field of nursing. One parent took Sylvia up on her offer to enroll in a job skills class that will be offered in the community. Resources were offered and connections were made.

The meeting that was scheduled for one hour went 15 minutes over.

What’s the difference between Turner Courts, Flower Mound, and Shelby’s freshman biology class? After talking to a number of parents who live in the inner city (those who attend the meetings and those who don’t), the problem I find is that their voice is often disregarded. When they do make attempts to be involved, they must jump through hoops and often must miss hourly-wage work. Getting their child the help s/he needs is exhausting and, despite their attempts, often futile. A learned helplessness often results.

We need to celebrate the ambition of these parents who continue to do what they can to get their child the help they need, despite the disparaging remarks of people who have never taken the time to get to know the families, their situations, and the obstacles they have to overcome on a daily basis.

We've come a long way...or have we?

The Civil Rights Movement completely fascinates me--the boldness and courage inspires me while the hatred and abuse horrifies me.

When I travel to different cities, I try to carry my book of Civil Rights sites with me so that I can visit the places in the city where monumental events took place (despite the sighs and rolling eyes of my fellow travelers).

One place I've always wanted to visit is Central High in Little Rock. Even though I went to college in Searcy, AR and was only 45 minutes away from Little Rock, I knew very little about the Civil Rights Movement until post-college when I began to educate myself on the issue. (One of the best memoirs I ever read was Warriors Don't Cry, the story of Melba Patillo Beals' experience integrating Central High in 1957 and what the students endured behind the closed doors of the school.)

However, when I read this article in the New York Times about Central High's heated school board meetings, Whites versus Blacks, the nostalgia waned.

Yes, what the Little Rock Nine did was amazingly selfless and courageous. Because of their perseverance, we are an "integrated" society. But have we really moved beyond living side by side?

While we may be able to mingle with each other today, as the NY Times article demonstrates, many of our issues are still split right down racial lines. It seems to me that it may have something to do with the fact that we don't seem to want to listen to each other...and even if we listen, we don't want to hear. Everybody's too busy trying to be right.

What would happen if we put as much effort in to working toward communication and understanding as we do in proving how right we are?

"You have people?! I want people!"

There's an H&R Block commercial... As the mail carrier delivers the mail, a homeowner asks him if he has to mail in his taxes since he's a mail carrier. The man responds, "I have people." To which the homeowner replies, "You have people?! I want people!"

Don't we all? We know if we "have people"...people with money...people with power...people with influence... people with more education... things get done. It's all about who you know.

But isn't our real desire to not just *have* people, but to *be* people??

In low-income communities you often have to have "people" for basic services to get done. Apartment repairs are slow, principals/teachers are too busy, streets have no drainage, police respond hours after the 9-1-1 call....until someone [with money, power, education, and possibly a well-known name] steps in.

Why can't people be enough just because of who they are...a parent...a concerned citizen...a frustrated citizen lacking basic city services?

It frustrates me.

I have noticed over the years that people with less education, less money, less power, speak up less. Not because they have anything less to say....not because they are any less intelligent...but often because they don't get listened to.


Who do you listen to?

Do you take time to listen to the opinions of people who look different than you...make less than you...work for you...have a job that society deems as not as important? Or...do you brush people aside...maybe unintentionally...unless they strike you as "important?"

Isn't it nice to know that when you speak, people listen? When other people speak, do you listen?

Responding to Racist Comments

So many comments that we, Whites, make are offensive. Not only do we often not realize it, we get upset when a person of color tells us our comment was offensive. It requires a lot of willingness and openness to listen and learn from people.

Click here to listen to a radio report on people's perspectives of responding to racist comments.