Amazing Graduate Award of 2009

This is to celebrate the determination of an amazing graduate who uses education as a stepping stone in life.



Jessica Orogbu
I’ve now known Jessica for eight years or more. I met her when she was first in foster care and then was adopted by her foster mom. While in foster care and as an adopted daughter, I watched Jessica work hard! She became the overseer of her adopted brothers and sister, who were also in the same foster home as she was and were adopted at the same time as she was. As the oldest, she was expected to get up at 4:00 a.m. to ensure they were all dressed and taken care of before they all went to school. In the evenings, Jessica often cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen before getting time to do her own homework and prepare for school the next morning. Yet, through all of that, I never once saw Jessica have a bad day or be in a bad mood. Her positive attitude was absolutely amazing and admirable.

As a senior in high school, Jessica began applying for college. She would call me to seek help in the process. She was the first in her family to go to college and wasn’t sure of how to make it happen. But, unlike other teenagers who would call me, Jessica would simply ask, “What do I do next?” and would proceed to make the phone calls, fill out the applications, and complete the entire process on her own.

It was through her phone calls that Jessica found out that being in foster care for so long actually had a benefit. The foster care system would pay for her schooling. Since her biological mother and her adopted mother were both unable to help financially, this became very crucial knowledge for her. In her research, she also found out that the foster care system would continue to pay for her schooling all the way through her doctorate if she went straight through. From that moment, Jessica determined that she would get her doctorate.

In college, Jessica worked a part-time job at the Boys and Girls Club, while also being a nanny for a family, while also taking 18 hours in school. The engine of the car she bought to get her to and from work burned out. She didn’t know what to do…but she managed to work things out. Her adopted mom died of cancer. During the same semester, she turned 22, which meant she was unable to access Medicaid anymore. It was then that her mouth started hurting with excrutiating pain. She could not find a reasonably priced dentist in Commerce and had to come to Dallas. She found out she needed all kinds of procedures, none of which she could afford. She managed to take care of one or two, but still needed a root canal. One of her professors told her she would have to drop the class if she missed one more day of class (because she had already missed for her mom’s funeral). Instead, she managed to get some antibiotics to clear up the infection and she persevered. I still don’t believe she’s been able to take care of the root canal to this day because of her hectic work schedule of two jobs and 18 hours of coursework.

This year, Jessica completed her bachelor’s degree in Education. Through her college career, she struggled over and over again with her math classes. But, she never once looked back. Jessica had set her goal to become a teacher and there was not a single obstacle that could stop her. She is now engaged to Reggie and will be married in July 2010. Here amazing qualities have secured her a job as a permanent sub in Greenville for the spring semester, a truly coveted position in this day and age where jobs are hard to come by. She will begin her master’s program at Texas A & M-Commerce’s branch in Mesquite as soon as the spring semester starts up. She will commute back and forth from Greenville now and is hoping to find a teaching job in Dallas in the fall.

Is lying a justifiable means to get to college?

My text message alert went off around 9:30 p.m. "Are u still up?" it asked.

I was tired. I was planning to go to bed early that evening and really didn't feel like talking to anyone. I responded by saying I was getting ready for bed, but then thought about the person sending the text. It was Jasmine and she didn't seem like the type who would want to talk to me about something pointless. "Is everything all right?" I text'd. "Not really," she replied. "I just wanted help. I'm so sorry."

When I tried calling, her cousin said she was crying so hard she couldn't talk. My mind immediately went through all of the worst that I know about some of my teens. Did she kill someone?? Is her mom pimping her out?? Is she selling drugs?? Is she pregnant?? My mind raced.

I continued trying to communicate with her through texts. She said she was going to quit coming to Teen U but wouldn't say why. She said if she told us why, we'd never look at her the same. I explained all of my former interactions with and knowledge about teenagers (some mentioned above) and told her I was still in contact with those teens. I tried to assure her I wouldn't look at her differently. "It's not that bad!" she replied. But I still couldn't get her to talk.

After an hour of texting back and forth, Jasmine finally called. Even then, all I could get out of her was, "I'm a fraud." After much coaxing, she explained to me that she was 20 years old...not 17 like she had told us.

"That's it?!" I couldn't help but be incredulous to this discovery.

"But I lied!" she went on. "I signed papers that said I was 17 and in high school, but I'm not."

Jasmine and I had a long talk about being truthful. Because of her dishonesty, she had missed the deadline for the Central Dallas scholarship. There were other natural consequences that occurred because she had lied.

I am no fan of lying. But here's the bigger issue to me...

A 20-year old girl lied SO THAT SHE COULD GET HELP WITH COLLEGE!!!!

Because Teen U is only for 6th-12th graders, Jasmine was afraid that if she told us her real age, she would not get to visit the college campuses, listen to the career speakers, and begin figuring out what she wanted to do. She was afraid she'd passed the age of being able to get the guidance she needed and desperately wanted. Jasmine's mom and aunt encouraged her to keep lying so that she could get a college education.

What does it say about our inner city communities when a young adult so desperately wants to get an education that she is willing to lie about her age to access those resources??

How often have I heard and read that we have to teach "those kids" [in the inner city] to value education?! How often do I hear that "those parents" [in the inner city] don't want anything for their kids?! Who are "those people" talking about???? Where are they getting their information??

Knowing this truth, I know our program needs to be expanded. We don't have the people or monetary resources in place, but we will make it work. Fighting crime and providing basketball leagues are important....but the communities where I live and work deserve educational opportunities as well. Our city and our society has to begin backing up this big talk on education. If education is so important, we need to improve our schools and offer more accessible, community-based programs that provide kids AND adults with the opportunities to fulfill their dreams...and helps them figure out how to get there.

What do you want to do before you die?

Wow...powerful stuff. See Shawn Williams' write-up here. Then watch the video:

The stakes are high

When I was in college, my cousin started dabbling in drugs. He ended up getting stopped by the police and sent to an out-patient rehab center.

After word got out, I can remember one of my friends in our small town telling me, "He'll be alright. He's been raised by good parents. He'll come out of it."

Sure enough, he did. He's married with three children, runs his dad's farm, and is an upstanding citizen maintaining the good Morrison name in our small town.

Unfortunately, the stakes are much higher in the inner city. Once a kid messes up, it seems that it is much harder to recover. A police record is much harder to break for a kid in poverty and a kid from certain neighborhoods. The surroundings seem to pull children down and keep them there. One mistake sends them into a downward spiral. It is because of these odds that it makes me breathe a sigh of relief when I watch a student consciously make a decision and put forth great effort to do something different.

I thought of that as I talked to Kia* (not her real name) the other day.

Kia is now in the 8th grade, but she was in our After-School Academy for about four years--first as a student, then as a volunteer. She has a mom who strongly encouraged academics and did everything she could to keep her children involved in productive activities...even if it meant spending extra money.

Kia started out as any young elementary student. She was smart. She was interested. She followed her mom's rules. But as Kia got older, she became influenced by her surroundings. Her attitude made her more difficult and her school work started suffering. Not only was she being influenced, but began influencing others as well. The teen girl attitudes seemed to take on a ripple effect throughout the After-School Academy.

She and her family moved several months ago. I stayed in touch with the family, but didn't talk to Kia much except to say hi and chat with her a little here and there.

The other night I went over to see the family, but everyone was gone but Kia. As we sat and talked, she eagerly began telling me how she had made a conscious decision to change her attitude and begin focusing on her education. She proudly told me that she had all A's and could see now why her younger sister hated getting B's. She had decided she needed to begin working on everything now so that she could be prepared for college.

As I quizzed her about how this all took place, she simply explained, "I just decided."

I know it was more than *just* a decision. I know that her mom's perseverance probably had a lot to do with it. I would guess that being a part of the community we had created in the After-School Academy had a part as well. But I also believe that them moving away also played a major part.

Either way, I'm glad she made such a conscious and intentional decision. It was really good to listen to her. It was so great to see such a genuine smile on her face and hear her chuckle about her "old self" as if she were a grown woman looking back on her teen years. Her conversation seemed lighter...friendlier. It seemed like the attitude she used to have was a burden and had been taken off of her shoulders.

The stakes are high for kids in the inner city. We need to provide as much support, guidance, and encouragement alongside the parents. We need to make sure there are plenty of opportunities available for kids like Kia to make that decision.

"It takes a village," is more than a cliche and the kids need to know there are many of us there to walk beside them long term.

I can't quit

As I reflect on my friend Wyshina's death, I think about how much less stressful my life would have been had I stayed in Ozark county in rural Missouri. It probably wouldn't have been filled with as much death, tragedy, and worries that my life has now.

When things like this happen, a fleeting thought of quitting enters my mind. I have had people tell me I should move on...that I can do "more good" if I utilize my doctoral degree for something else...like working at a university full time or doing some other, larger job. Others have tried to convince me that I am not doing the good I think I am and could do it more effectively if I did more to fulfill myself. Thank goodness I have learned and continue to realize that the people who make those suggestions have their own issues and insecurities about who they are and what they are or aren't doing.

Wyshina's death makes my head throb as I think of the people I have lost over the last few years--some due to senseless murder, some being caught up in the drug culture, some because of a lack of healthcare...all of them societal issues that can and need to be fixed.

I think about how these deaths have affected me...I think about how many people's stories I carry in my head and how they burden my heart...yet I think about how anyone walking by me would never know about these things. It makes me think about other people around me...people who probably also have many things going on in their life that the average, outside person would never know about them. I know many of these are children...and the children grow into the adults of our society.

However, when I think that it would be easier to go somewhere else to make my own life less complicated, the word SOLIDARITY comes to mind. I think of Paulo Freire, who speaks a lot about solidarity in his book, Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Here is just one quote from this book:

...true solidarity with the oppressed means fighting at their side to transform the objective reality which has made them these “beings for another.” The oppressor is in solidarity with the oppressed only when he stops regarding the oppressed as an abstract category and sees them as persons who have been unjustly dealt with, deprived of their voice, cheated in the sale of their labor — when he stops making pious, sentimental, and individualistic gestures and risks an act of love. ... To affirm that men and women are persons and as persons should be free, and yet to do nothing tangible to make this affirmation a reality, is a farce.

It is not fair or just for me to remain on the outside. I am not any more special than the people I know who directly face these tragedies. To think I am would be arrogant and unwise. It is because of my friendship and my solidarity with those around me that I can not leave. I must endure the hardships with them.

I have found that there is true "family" in that solidarity. (Thank you Sylvia, Larry, Gerald, Marva, Mike, Mr. Wendell, Vicki, Dave, Lagean, Ms. Coleman, and so many others)

To truly be free, we cannot ignore what happens. We cannot remove ourselves.

If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is tied up with mine, then let us work together.-- Lill Watson, aboriginal activist

I now understand that my welfare is only possible if I acknowledge my unity with all the people of the world without exception. ~Leo Tolstoy

I know these are just quotes, but remembering them in times like these gives me hope...provides me with a sense of direction and understanding that is much needed in times like these. I can't quit.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road your trudging seems all-uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup
And he learned too late when the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit
It's when things seem worse that you musn't quit. -Unknown

A different view of education

Because of the inevitable demolition of Turner Courts, we have transitioned all of our After-School Academy efforts to the Roseland TownHomes.

We had such quality volunteers and partnerships in Turner Courts. I must admit, I was concerned that it would take us a while to get to that point in Roseland. But it's all coming together.

For the last 10+ years, I have created my own philosophy (based on a lot of research, of course) that kids learn through educational (not necessarily academic) experiences. I have also found that kids will get excited about whatever excites those around them.

So, I look for people who are excited and passionate about what they do...or about a particular hobby they have. Those are the types of people I seek...and, therefore, those are the people I find.

For our Kinder-5th program at Roseland, we have financial literacy, technology (if you are passionate about teaching all of the new and exciting aspects of technology--blogging, twittering, PhotoStory, etc.--please let me know...I'm still looking for this person), hip hop dance, chess, history, art, and nature (by a naturalist...which I am SO excited about!).

I am constantly asked to quantify and "prove" that what we are doing is working. I have such a hard time doing that. I often can't explain it...not until years later when they have gone off to college...and are determined (no matter what grades they are making) to keep doing better, to graduate, and many of them have already discussed their plans with me to complete grad school as well. But by then, the monthly reports have already been submitted and we are on a completely different generation of Kinder-5th graders.

Today the Sudbury Valley School was brought to my attention. Though I have often questioned Montessori education...mainly because I grew up with traditional school as my norm, because I hear that their students often do better than traditional school students...the Sudbury Valley School seems to be even less structured than Montessori. But, as I read more, it reminded me of our After-School Academy. Their philosophy is that life is learning!...and if you are interested in and excited about something, you will work to understand all aspects of it. This type of exploratory learning often translates into reading, writing, math, etc. at much higher levels than anticipated by traditional teachers and traditional schools who would usually "instruct" a child.


Here's an interview with Mimsy Sadofsky, a lady who helped develop the school:

Mimsy: What is meaningful to you is easier to learn than what is not meaningful to you. It's as simple as that. So if you're excited about something or interested in it, you tend to learn it much more quickly which is one of the reasons we don't worry about the fact that many kids spend very little time doing what looks like academic work here; we know they're perfectly capable of doing any of that stuff whenever they want to.

Daria: If children don't choose the basics to learn, do they waste their time year after year after year? What happens if they choose to go fishing, an example you have in one of your books?

Mimsy: The child who chose to go fishing wasn't exactly missing the basics. He was reading about fishing and doing research on fish and doing all sorts of things that had to do with fishing. ... Many people gain knowledge more through reading and others more through conversation or visual stimulation, so we're not worried about the basics. We think if they're basic everybody will figure that out for themselves, and they do. Also, it's not as if they're here in isolation, because they're here six, seven hours a day and then they go back into the rest of the world and they have a very clear idea from the rest of the world, and from their friends who are students here, what people think of as important and as basic.

Though we don't do everything like Sudbury, our philosophy is much in line with her comments here. Children who learn chess, connect with nature, and experiment with technology may not seem to be getting the traditional academics needed to pass the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS), but creating an environment where people are passionate about what they know rubs off on the kids. And though it may not immediately increase TAKS scores, I have found that it creates the motivation and determination to succeed.

College hasn't been easy for the majority of our kids; most weren't adequately prepared in high school. But that hasn't stopped them. I choose to believe that their determination and desire comes from what they experienced when they were in our University of Values summer program or our After-School Academies. I think many of them would say the same.

...and some excel in spite of the odds!

As I looked over my last post, I realized I didn't give a complete picture. I described those whose past sometimes disables them...or at the most, they make a life for themselves by getting by. Don't get me wrong...those who make ends meet and "get by" are great people. I have no intention of short-changing my friends.

But I left out an important part of our communities. I failed to mention those who see what's around them and are determined to move beyond. They are determined not to be a statistic. They refuse to allow us to categorize them with a number that says who they are and what their life is about. Sometimes it's the adults who figured out a new way to hope; other times it's the kids who dig their heels in and refuse to let the people around them define them. For some it means college; for others, it means a full-time job; still others, it means staying home to take care of their children.

Kieva called last night, scolding me for not doing a better job of keeping up with her (you can read more about Kieva in previous posts here). She wanted to inform me that she is starting grad school on Monday and will be working toward a Master's in Public Administration. She explained that these days getting a bachelor's is what everyone is doing and she needs to be a step ahead of the rest.

When she struggled through college, people told her she wouldn't make it. I'm sure she heard that in high school as well. Kieva knew in her mind she would. She knew she could prove them wrong. And she has.

I know others like Kieva who take the path of defining their own life in spite of the naysayers around them. Sometimes I forget because they are off doing their own thing. They've forged their own path and have found other avenues of support and encouragement. I pray that their hope and determination continues.

Life is not all bleak in the inner city. :)

Moving forward...Creating a plan

I like learning new things. I like "a-ha!" moments. I like figuring out how things work.

My latest "a-ha!" moment started when one of the college students came to me explaining that in order to get back into college, he would have to pay for the entire semester without help from financial aid. I already had the feeling that was going to happen.

After the semester had started this fall, I noticed he was hanging out in Dallas an awful lot. He finally explained to me that he wasn't going to school this semester because he had failed some of his classes and his GPA had dropped below a certain level. He tried to explain to me that the school counselor had told him if he just sat out this semester, his financial aid would be reinstated in the spring. From an experience with another college student, I knew that wasn't right, but he chose not to listen when I explained that he would have to pay the school before he could continue. (Don't kid yourself if you think that our government's money is flowing freely to students! If students don't perform, financial aid does not continue paying for the classes!)

So, he sat out a semester and, sure enough, when he went to enroll for this spring, they told him in order to re-enroll, he had to pay for the entire semester himself. They explained that once he paid his expenses and proved himself by doing well in classes, his financial aid could be reinstated for the fall.

But that's not my a-ha moment.

After visiting with his counselor and finding out that he was going to have to pay for classes all by himself, he called to ask for advice and help in figuring out how to get the money to pay for next semester. I asked him how many hours he planned on taking this coming semester. He said 12 or 13. I suggested he go back to his counselor and create a plan for the rest of his college career. Once he had the plan, I suggested he write a letter of appeal to the scholarship he had received but had to return because he didn't go to school this semester.

When he called after his afternoon meeting with the counselor, he was somewhat shocked and a little disappointed, "It's going to take me two more years to graduate!" In order to graduate in two years, he will need to take 17 hours for a couple of semesters. This information didn't surprise me. Actually, after watching him set out semesters and take classes back and forth at El Centro and Texas A & M-Commerce, I was actually surprised he could get out so soon!

Although he was disappointed, HE HAD CREATED A PLAN!!!! He knew the plan and he knew what it would take to graduate. He could see light at the end of the tunnel. And because he had a written out plan, he recognized what kind of effort it will take to make it there. He wrote his appeal letter to the scholarship fund (this is an excerpt):

I made things a lot harder for myself because I didn't take care of business in the beginning. I know it is imperative I make a budget and stay with it. I plan on getting a job on campus, this way I know for sure my work schedule will not conflict with class and study time. Here is a estimate of what it would cost me to attend Texas A & M University in Commerce...

Tuition 2,068.00
Room & Board 2,870.00
Books 495.00
Total 5,433.00

In case there was a delay with employment opportunities, I have been doing what I can to put funds aside to go towards my education. I will also continue applying for other scholarships. I know that there is no grantee I will get the full amount of the scholarship I'm applying for, but I would be extremely grateful for any amount that is granted to me.

Somehow that led to my a-ha moment. I've been working with these kids to get them into college...and it IS happening. They are getting in. They are going. But I've never really thought about the fact that they don't have a plan on how to get out and what to do when they finish. After talking to Terrance, what I realized is that many are just taking classes. It's almost like we've created a mindset that being in college has become the end goal. It is progress though. When I first came to Central Dallas we were working on moving them from a minset of being in high school to graduating from high school. Now we're moving from the mindset of being in college to graduating from college. I'm encouraged by that. ...but I also recognize that we have to move quickly so we don't lose kids along the way.

Terrance is a great guy. I have seen his frustrations and his determination. I'm sure there will be more frustrations. But he is hanging in there. I know he can get there. Some days it takes more effort and energy than others to convince him of that. However, I am looking forward to a few years from now when I will visit the 45th floor of some office building and have to go through his secretary to see him sitting behind his mohagany desk in his suit and tie making business deals.

Overcoming the odds

The perseverance, successes, and determination of the kids around me completely amaze me.

About 8 years ago I had the privilege of assisting the coaching of a Ranger Rookie League baseball team for 4th and 5th graders. After we had gathered our team together, not only did we have some budding baseball players (some of whom had never picked up a baseball before), but we also had some good parental support.

One of the parents, Mr. Aparicio, brought water and snacks to every practice we had for the kids. Through those two years of baseball, I got to know the Aparicio's. I was blessed to be invited into their family when they had special events. We discovered their oldest daughter, Kim, and I share the same birthday. When they had Kim's quincenera, I was invited to join in and celebrate; when Oscar (our Rookie League baseball player) had baseball games in high school, they gave me a schedule and when he graduated from high school, I was given one of the coveted tickets. Every once in a while Mr. Aparicio will call to give me an update or invite me to a family event. Though I don't see them often, I cherish those times that they include me.

All-in-all, they are an absolutely wonderful family. They've have worried about their children staying in the local, low-performing public school. They have tried to do whatever they could to get their children into the magnet schools and they support them in everything they do. They push their limits financially so that their children can have the best education.

Their oldest daughter, Kim, will now graduate from SMU next month. She is an absolutely amazing and determined individual. When she was at Townview (high school) she used to tell me about her internships in the ER (in high school!!). She was interested in the medical field. When she went on to SMU she told me about her aspirations to be a dentist. But, most recently, she let me know that what she really wanted to do was be a doctor. On somewhat of a whim, she decided to take the MCAT to see how she would do. Though I don't know if she quite realizes it, she is brilliant. Her scores on the MCAT were such that she could apply to medical school. However, just like I mentioned in my last blog, fear was holding her back. See her email to me:

Hi Ms.Janet
Hope you're doing well. I'm on my last couple of weeks of school. It's a little scary and the whole "too close to the end" laziness seems to be kicking in too. I was wondering if you could send me your address so that I can send you a formal invitation to my graduation. It's December 9th at 7:30 pm. I also have been interviewing at different medical schools. I've interviewed so far at San Antonio, Texas Tech in Lubbock and in the next couple of weeks I'll interview at UT Southwestern in Dallas, TCOM in Fort Worth, and Houston Medical school. I'm still waiting to hear from Galveston and Texas A&M but we'll see if they call or not. It's crazy because I would of never thought I'd be in this position growing up or even a year ago when I had planned to apply to dental school and now hopefully one of the medical schools will offer me acceptance. I had limited myself, thinking that I might not be good enough to even get an interview in medical school until my mentor said that I had too much firepower to not go all the way with this thought and I would probably regret it if I didn't apply to med school wondering "what if". So luckily I listened to someone else and went for it. Now I'm just crossing my fingers to see if it turns out the way I'd like it to. Hope to hear from you soon.
Kim

Thank goodness Kim didn't allow her fears to get the better of her. Kim grew up in a low-income area where expectations are often low. Unfortunately, for many kids, the outside world's expectations of them get the better of them and they don't choose to take the risk and do what they have the skills and talent to do. In Kim's case, she stepped out and it paid off:

Hi Ms.Janet
Just wanted to tell you that I got into medical school! I'm pretty psyched. Now I have to pick, which one to go to because I was offered admissions to UT Southwestern in Dallas, UTHSCA in San Antonio, and UTMB in Galveston. They are all great medical schools but now that I have options I don't know where I should go. Well, hope you had a great Thanksgiving, I was blessed with this news and had a good Thanksgiving as well. Hope you're doing well.Thanks, Kim Aparicio

These kids need to be congratulated and supported so much more than they are. The fact that they have overcome the odds is a feat that many of us will never understand.

In a few years, if you're seeking a new doctor, look for Kim Aparicio. I guarantee you she will make a GREAT doctor.

Congratulations, Kim.

"Because of"...not "in spite of"

As I volunteered at an Education is Freedom (EIF) event on Saturday, I had yet another opportunity to meet a couple of amazing teenagers. The EIF event was set up to give 9th-12th graders short workshops on how to write college application and scholarship essays. EIF had rallied a number of adult volunteers to be on hand to assist the students with their writing process.

Though we were available for any teenager needing assistance, I connected with two girls who were struggling a little with getting their ideas down on paper. As I prompted them with questions about what they wanted to do in life, I received the response, "I don't know," quite a bit. That answer is pretty common in the areas where I work and can be seen as short-sighted. However, the more I talked to my new friend, the more I realized she actually has her plans pretty well thought out. She just didn't realize how thoughtful she had been about them.

My friend had thought about the Navy, National Guard, and college as the next step for her future. She is looking at the Navy because she felt it would provide more intellectual stimulation than the Army, which she felt was more about physical training. She is looking at the National Guard because it will provide her with college funding, something she recognizes she doesn't have right now (and because of her family's financial struggles, she has no desire to take out loans). Her third, and really last, option is college. She recognizes that college provides choices, yet she is afraid of the cost and hesitant because she thinks she needs to know what she wants to do before she enters college (How/why have we led our kids to believe this?? How many of us knew what we wanted to do for the rest of our lives as a senior in high school?!).

She currently lives on her own, is a senior at a DISD school, and works. I hope she gets past her hesitation of applying to colleges. I think too often we convince kids in poor neighborhoods that they can persevere "in spite of" their past. I think we need to change our way of thinking. This girl, and so many others I know, persevere because of their past, not in spite of it. Many of the kids I know have very strong character, a number of survival skills, and they have learned how to make things work no matter what the situation. We should praise those characteristics! I encouraged my new friend to really consider the three options she had chosen and not limit herself to what other people tell her she "needs" to do because of her income status or because of her indecisiveness about a career right now.

I encouraged her to write her essay, keeping in mind how much she has to offer a college. I hope and pray that as she writes, she thinks about how valuable she is because of her work ethic, her ability to raise herself, her desire to attend high school and even go beyond without goading parents, and the fact that she is taking initiative to make something happen post-high school without family guidance...

Every college, every military department, every job should want her for that.

A future teacher making a difference now

Jessica Orogbu is one amazing person. She is currently a sophomore education major at Texas A & M-Commerce. Jessica began attending our University of Values (UV) summer program several years ago. After "aging out" of that program, she came back to volunteer. Her committed volunteering efforts eventually earned her a teacher position at UV. She enjoyed teaching so much that during her senior year she found a job working for a daycare. Though she was making much more money at the daycare, she loved the kids at UV. She took a pay cut during the summer to come back and work with us. She worked with us every summer until going off to college last year.

I tell Jessica all the time that she is my mentor. Jessica did all of her college entrance paperwork completely on her own. She would periodically call me to ask for advice on what to do next, but beyond that, she did all of the footwork. I am amazed by her willingness, her determination, and her leadership toward others. (She also made sure all of her friends got their college paperwork in on time).

Jessica is majoring in Education and is so excited to become a teacher. I am so excited to know that in about 3 more years some lucky kids will have an outstanding teacher leading them! Today I received this email from her that I had to share:

Hello Ms. Janet,

Hey I learned a new thing in Psych 300 that I think could be implemented into summer camp if it gets up and running again. As an afternoon class I was thinking a social skills class. Studies show that one hour of social skills training a week, dramatically improves the behavior of a child.(Psych 300....I love it) But it could go over things as simple as what to do if you see someone drop a $20 bill. Even more helpful teaching children to ask questions. As weird as it seems, She said a lot of children feel that asking questions are wrong. It has to do with as a child when they ask the "why" questions to their parent, the parent response which is usually, "Stop asking questions" or something to that nature, traumatises a child. The child then starts to think that asking questions is wrong. So when they are in school and don't ask questions they fall behind. Which again studies show that if a child falls behind for about one month, their TAKS score is found to be three times lower. I think this class could be good for camp as an afternoon class and it doesn't have to be boring. They can role play situations, watch films, and other exciting things. I guess it shows that the entire time she was talking about this, I was thinking about kids camp. lol. Well just wanted to tell you what was on my mind. I hope you have a great day. I will see you tomorrow and I will not be attending the TREK run but I will come to the banquet. I will call you probaly tonight or tomorrow.

Jessica

People like Jessica make me excited about the future and the possibilities our children possess. Keep her (and all of the other budding children) in your prayers.

Power in numbers

I met a wonderful lady in Turner Courts the other day. Our conversation was like so many others I've had with people in Turner Courts.

She has lived in Turner Courts for about 6 months now. However, she explained, the first three months she didn't physically or mentally move in. Instead, she cried every day because she had to live there. Do we actually believe that people who live in the "projects" want to be there?? I have talked to at least three other people in the last month who have said the exact same thing. People don't enjoy being "in the system" and accepting what is handed to them. She, like so many others I've gotten to know, figure out a way to "survive." They isolate themselves mentally and physically in their home in an attempt to stay away from anything bad that might happen.

What I've figured out is that there are quite a few people like the lady I met yesterday. And they are all attempting survival by doing the same thing...staying inside. As a result, they never discover the other good people in Turner Courts who are also doing the "right thing." So, all people ever see are the ones who aren't scared to go outside and start trouble, thus creating the stereotype that all people in housing developments are bad.

The people who live in the housing developments have bought into that stereotype as well. That's what causes the tears. They know they are not bad people, but society has convinced them that "bad" people live in the "projects." Thus, they figure, they are the only one living there trying to do right.

It's just not true!

One of the parents of some children at our After-School Academy told me just the other day that she would've probably never known any other adults in Turner Courts had she not enrolled her kids at the After-School Academy. She, like so many others, said she just kept to herself. She and another parent are now fast friends. I'm hoping that more parents will begin connecting and all of us can begin working toward solutions as a united front.

That is my goal for this school year.

Who is college for?

In California, Proposition 209 banned using race as a decision-making factor in college enrollment. I know some people would cheer and say that it's about time we stopped using race as a factor. The people that I've talked to want to be colorblind and take people based on merit alone. But is it their own personal merit that reserves them a spot at a prestigious university? And who defines merit?

Out of 10,000 African-American students who graduated in Los Angeles County this year, only 96 of them will be attending the prestigious UCLA. Why is that? The University and Proposition 209 would say that it's simply because those are the only students who have the skills to work up to the standards UCLA sets. I would guess they would say they don't see color. It's all about the academics.

However, I would say that money and privileges also play a large part in who gets in to UCLA. How many of those who did get in could afford and actually did utilize privately paid tutors and SAT classes to help them raise their scores and get the help they needed. Though I think it is important to look at basic skill levels and though I am not arguing that many of our kids are even at the level where they simply need a little push. No. Many of them need a LOT of help! A LOT!

However, I would think that as a part of a student's merit, it would be important to look at determination and perseverance as well. If a student does not have the skills, but has the ability and is willing to persevere through the frustration of attending a school that will challenge him/her academically, I think that should be given credit when looking at their application. It may take a little more work on the college's part because that student will need some individual attention to get to a comfortable level with college and be academically successful. That may sound like an undue burden on the college, but at what point do we stand up, take notice that there are students falling through the cracks, and begin to do something about it. Right now I see and hear of students being written off. They are suspended so they don't have to take the TAKS (state mandated) test, which would ultimately count against the schools pretty numbers. At what point do we say that "Kids Matter!" Are we going to sit back and watch the enrollment numbers dwindle, raising our hands in exasperation or are we going to do something about it...so that all kids are granted the same opportunity?