Once a year, a friend of mine gives me a set of four tickets to the Texas Rangers baseball game. The seats, which are are not too far behind home plate and slightly down the first-base line are pretty cool and allow for a great, up-close view of the field. Though I have taken friends in the past, a lot of times my friends could really care less about baseball and are just there because I asked them to go. I would much rather take a kid or teenager who can enjoy a new experience and learn about the sport I grew up loving.
At the last minute, I had one ticket left and I thought to ask Aaron (not his real name) a 9-year old whose mother was killed three years ago. I hadn't spent time with him in quite a while and I thought a baseball game would be perfect.
As soon as I got to his house, he bounded out and gripped me in a strong, tight hug saying, "I missed you!!" We hurried into the car, hoping to get there in time to see Dirk throw out the first pitch. As we drove, Aaron talked non-stop. He told me that science is his favorite subject, that he was now doing martial arts a lot and has a purple belt, that his sister was home (she's stayed with her dad ever since her mother's death), that he's no longer in football, that he has a Big Sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters, and that he gets in trouble because the teacher thinks it's always him causing the problems, but the teacher gets him confused with another boy in the class (which I thought was a very amusing way of looking at it!).
As we walked to the ballpark, he would periodically grab me to give me a big hug saying, "I miss you so much!" While we were in the seats, he put his arm around me and told me, "I just want to stay like this for a little while." When I told him I appreciated the hug but couldn't take the heat with him leaning on me, he responded with, "Yeah, I know. I'm hot, too. So just for one more minute...maybe less...and I'll be done."
Aaron has always been a hugger. He's also always been one to get in trouble and to be incredulous when you discipline him for something. He's always been active. And he's always very well behaved and listens well when we're together one-on-one. Tonight was no different...or so I thought.
We watched the game, tried to catch foul balls, and got fries after the 7th inning stretch. As the game was about to be over, Aaron turned to me and said, "I'll never forget this night," in his always very appreciative manner. He told me, "I know I won't see you again for a long time and I'm going to miss you soooo much!! I already know!" which drew a kind smile from the lady below us.
At the end of the game, we realized it was a fireworks night at the ballpark...and the Rangers have the best fireworks shows! So, excited to see it myself and to share it with the kids who were with me, I called their parents/grandparents and we stayed.
The fireworks show lasted about 20-30 minutes. We sang along with all of the current songs they played and bee-bopped in our chairs. I noticed Aaron had gotten really still. As the lights came back up, I looked over at him and his eyes were glossy with tears. I asked if he was ok. He said he was sad. He said he was thinking about his mom. My heart clenches and my eyes fill with tears thinking about it. He was six when he lost her. Three years later, he still longs for her presence.
As I reached out for him, he burst into tears. I had too much stuff in my lap. The seats were between us. I hugged him for a minute, but wanted to pull him closer and let him cry. By the time I emptied my lap and was ready to take him into my arms, he had composed himself.
I wanted to hold him. I wanted to let him cry. I wanted to be there for him if only for a minute. But he's a strong kid. He pulled himself together and showed no sign of breaking down again. It wasn't a toughened approach. He simply pulled himself together. He knew what he was feeling. He just wasn't crying about it. It breaks my heart to think he couldn't and probably won't ever get to empty himself of all of his tears.
As we walked up the stairs, he turned to me, "I'm sad." I asked if he wanted a hug and he nodded. I gave him a huge hug...so big it lifted him off the ground and carried him up a couple of stairs. He laughed and told me he could top that and proceeded to squeeze me beyond a 9-year old's strength. We laughed a little more but as we continued walking to the car, he told me a few more times that he was thinking of his mom.
I told him that my best friend lost her mom when she was nine and she's now 39 and she still thinks about her mom all of the time. (You can read her reflection about her mom here.) I wanted to comfort him, but didn't know how. He often says some violent things and referred to them then as he angrily talked about the "stupid idiot" who shot his mother. I wanted to agree with him, but tried to do it in a way that encouraged him to re-direct his anger in a way that wasn't violent so he could help other kids when he grows up.
Once in the car, he continued to tell me some things and I felt like if we spent more time together, he may confide in me more...which actually scares me a little since I don't know that I have the skills to deal with all that goes on in his mind. He talked about seeing his counselor each week, but I'm not sure he feels the same confidence in a counselor as he does in an adult who used to be his mom's friend.
I don't know how to help him. I know I need to spend more time with him. I know I need to love him. I know from his willingness to confide in me that he wants to talk about it. I want others to know him, too. I want his teachers to b able to act and re-act accordingly...without lowered expectations.
He lives with his granny and has an unwavering love and appreciation for her. But he still needs to feel the unconditional love that only a mother can give. I want him to know that her love is inside of him, even though I know that knowledge can't fill the void. I want him to feel complete so that he can grow and develop and be everything he ever or she ever wanted him to be.
I know there are other Aaron's all around me...and my prayers go for them as well.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Write, children, write!
This week is the last week of our Education programs at CitySquare. Not just for the school year...but this time it's forever. Forever sounds so long and final, though. So, I refuse to believe that something else won't come along where we will be able to have a big impact on kids again. I simply refuse.
Regardless, though, for this season what we've done with children, teens, and college students comes to a close. It seems like things keep cropping up that make me realize why I love working with, being around, admonishing, and celebrating children...youth...young people.
As I watched Jill Scott do her poetry in this video, her piece about children particularly moved me (2:07-4:39). I pray that every child I've ever known and those I haven't will follow her pleading. Our kids have so much to say. We need to encourage them to write...for themselves...for us...for the world...for the youth around them that don't know to write...for the youth who will come behind them. Our kids have so much to say. Our kids have so much to say! I pray they all come in contact with at least someone who will convince them of how much they have to say and how important it is. And I pray we listen.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Ghetto Life: 101
Every once in a while I am approached by someone who wants to understand more about the inner city from the perspective of someone who lives here. They ask me if I can provide them with a family who would be willing to allow a reporter into their home to talk about food insecurity. They want to know if a child would be willing to provide a day-in-the-life report in hopes of getting a better picture of their life with gangs. Or they may want a mom to talk about her frustrations of trying to get a job with no childcare.
I want people to understand the environment, families, educational system, and why things work or don't work for people in poverty. Yet, every time I am approached, my defenses immediately go up.
My experience with the press hasn't always been good. I learned the hard way that the whole context of what you say isn't always put in the writing. Reporters have an agenda, an angle. They work to fit the story into their angle. As a result, the story becomes one-sided and often, for people in my neighborhood, reflects negatively on the people in the neighborhood. Therefore, a lot of my friends and neighbors turn away from those "opportunities" and often look at me with skepticism when I even approach them about it.
I get it. I mean, really, who wants their dirty laundry aired? I don't see a lot of press reports on upper class white families whose children become addicts because their work-a-holic parents hire nannies and they never have any real connection with their own children. Instead, when a drug epidemic breaks out in the suburbs, I see generous concern for students who have turned to drugs. There becomes an outpouring of support, counselors brought in, and attempts to weed out the drugs. Situations in either community are extremely sad, but similar situations are approached very differently depending on the neighborhood.
I do think people need to know about and understand the reality our kids in poverty face. I want to tell people if they really wanted to know, they should spend some time in our neighborhood. They need to be a part of our day-to-day for a while. I think they would find that some things aren't near as scary as they've been presented and other things are just as heart-breaking. Unfortunately, I've learned that convincing someone to hang out in our neighborhood for a while is pretty futile.
I wish people could see and understand the joy along with the sorrows. I wish they could meet Ron, who grew up on my street and comes back every once in a while to check on my elderly neighbor, who has also been here for most of her life. I wish they could know my friend who mows my lawn periodically when he knows I'm too busy. I wish they could feel the pain of the losses we've experienced to shootings, mental illness, diabetes, cancer, and other preventable actions and diseases. I wish people outside of our neighborhood could see how pain is embedded in the system.
There are some people who have become a part of our programs...and they have come to know the joys and the sorrows. We love, together. We hurt, together.
When I listened to this NPR segment, it reminded me of how real and powerful reports from people experiencing the system can be. But even as they explain, it took a lot of courage on their part to hold the tape recorder and get the information from their community.
After listening to the NPR segment (below), you may want to listen to one of their original pieces. If you want to know what "ghetto life" is like, listen to these two young men. They may have done the piece in 1993. Unfortunately, not much has changed in our urban areas since then. You may have to sign up for a subscription for the second audio piece (PRX » Piece » #50 - Ghetto Life 101), but it's free and I guarantee you it's worth it. Take a listen...
PRX » Piece » #50 - Ghetto Life 101
I want people to understand the environment, families, educational system, and why things work or don't work for people in poverty. Yet, every time I am approached, my defenses immediately go up.
My experience with the press hasn't always been good. I learned the hard way that the whole context of what you say isn't always put in the writing. Reporters have an agenda, an angle. They work to fit the story into their angle. As a result, the story becomes one-sided and often, for people in my neighborhood, reflects negatively on the people in the neighborhood. Therefore, a lot of my friends and neighbors turn away from those "opportunities" and often look at me with skepticism when I even approach them about it.
I get it. I mean, really, who wants their dirty laundry aired? I don't see a lot of press reports on upper class white families whose children become addicts because their work-a-holic parents hire nannies and they never have any real connection with their own children. Instead, when a drug epidemic breaks out in the suburbs, I see generous concern for students who have turned to drugs. There becomes an outpouring of support, counselors brought in, and attempts to weed out the drugs. Situations in either community are extremely sad, but similar situations are approached very differently depending on the neighborhood.
I do think people need to know about and understand the reality our kids in poverty face. I want to tell people if they really wanted to know, they should spend some time in our neighborhood. They need to be a part of our day-to-day for a while. I think they would find that some things aren't near as scary as they've been presented and other things are just as heart-breaking. Unfortunately, I've learned that convincing someone to hang out in our neighborhood for a while is pretty futile.
I wish people could see and understand the joy along with the sorrows. I wish they could meet Ron, who grew up on my street and comes back every once in a while to check on my elderly neighbor, who has also been here for most of her life. I wish they could know my friend who mows my lawn periodically when he knows I'm too busy. I wish they could feel the pain of the losses we've experienced to shootings, mental illness, diabetes, cancer, and other preventable actions and diseases. I wish people outside of our neighborhood could see how pain is embedded in the system.
There are some people who have become a part of our programs...and they have come to know the joys and the sorrows. We love, together. We hurt, together.
When I listened to this NPR segment, it reminded me of how real and powerful reports from people experiencing the system can be. But even as they explain, it took a lot of courage on their part to hold the tape recorder and get the information from their community.
After listening to the NPR segment (below), you may want to listen to one of their original pieces. If you want to know what "ghetto life" is like, listen to these two young men. They may have done the piece in 1993. Unfortunately, not much has changed in our urban areas since then. You may have to sign up for a subscription for the second audio piece (PRX » Piece » #50 - Ghetto Life 101), but it's free and I guarantee you it's worth it. Take a listen...
PRX » Piece » #50 - Ghetto Life 101
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Protecting the Powerless Award of 2010
I received a phone call on Friday morning. It was a week day, but it was my day off for New Year's. I usually ignore unrecognizable numbers on my days off, but I answered anyway, "Hello, this is Janet."
On the other end of the line was a 24 year old guy I met a couple of years ago. His mom lives two streets over from me. We discovered this when I was facilitating an Americorps training he was required to attend. He was surprised that I lived in his neighborhood and knew some of the same guys he grew up with.
When he called, I'm guessing his mom was working on her taxes. He needed someone to write a letter saying that his mom took care of his niece this past year. Though I've talked to him several times over the last couple of years, I don't know much about his family. I had to explain to him that since I didn't know the situation, I didn't feel comfortable writing a letter on our letterhead saying she lived there.
I suppose I could have gone on his word and just written the letter, but I have learned a few lessons along the way. One being, it's not always a good idea to step into something you know nothing about. Even so, it bothers me that I couldn't do something that simple for him.
Situations like his frustrate me because all he needs is someone who can vouch for the fact that his niece is being taken care of by his mother. What his mother is doing is so common in our neighborhood. I've never heard of any official "adoptions" taking place by people in the community, but I know of many who take a child in, despite their own poverty and struggles, to ensure that child has the basic necessities their biological parent can't provide for them at that time.
The people who do this always impress me. They don't ask for anything in return. They usually can't get any food stamps or government assistance for the child despite their own...and the child's...poverty (oftentimes the biological parent could receive it, but they often aren't at a functioning level enough to make it all happen). So much of what that child needs comes straight from the new care taker's pocket...a pocket that has little in it for their own family. Sometimes the child stays for a short time. Other times, their entire life. I think what impresses me so much about the people who take other people's children is that there never seems to be any real contemplation about whether or not they could financially take on an extra mouth to feed. A child needs to be cared for so that they won't enter the "system." Period. End of story. The child enters their home.
So when my friend's mom wants to get what will probably amount to about a $1500 tax credit for this child she has raised all year long, I feel like it's a very small cost to us, the taxpayers, to provide her with that. After all, putting the child in foster care or out on the street may have cost us much, much more in the short term and the long term--financially and otherwise.
It's a hard job. Raising someone else's child means less for your own children. Rationing the money out for everyone in the household means even if there was enough before, extracurricular clubs and activities that would help develop a child and prepare them for college are probably not even considered. And college? I rarely hear that as something a parent has extra money to save for their own child, let alone for a couple of others they've raised along the way.
Last year, as a result of my Christmas gift, The Awe-manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder, and it's suggestion to create annual awards, I created my own. This year as I reflect, the people who take it upon themselves to raise other people's children without any fanfare or recognition deserve to be commended. Thank you for what you do!
On the other end of the line was a 24 year old guy I met a couple of years ago. His mom lives two streets over from me. We discovered this when I was facilitating an Americorps training he was required to attend. He was surprised that I lived in his neighborhood and knew some of the same guys he grew up with.
When he called, I'm guessing his mom was working on her taxes. He needed someone to write a letter saying that his mom took care of his niece this past year. Though I've talked to him several times over the last couple of years, I don't know much about his family. I had to explain to him that since I didn't know the situation, I didn't feel comfortable writing a letter on our letterhead saying she lived there.
I suppose I could have gone on his word and just written the letter, but I have learned a few lessons along the way. One being, it's not always a good idea to step into something you know nothing about. Even so, it bothers me that I couldn't do something that simple for him.
Situations like his frustrate me because all he needs is someone who can vouch for the fact that his niece is being taken care of by his mother. What his mother is doing is so common in our neighborhood. I've never heard of any official "adoptions" taking place by people in the community, but I know of many who take a child in, despite their own poverty and struggles, to ensure that child has the basic necessities their biological parent can't provide for them at that time.
The people who do this always impress me. They don't ask for anything in return. They usually can't get any food stamps or government assistance for the child despite their own...and the child's...poverty (oftentimes the biological parent could receive it, but they often aren't at a functioning level enough to make it all happen). So much of what that child needs comes straight from the new care taker's pocket...a pocket that has little in it for their own family. Sometimes the child stays for a short time. Other times, their entire life. I think what impresses me so much about the people who take other people's children is that there never seems to be any real contemplation about whether or not they could financially take on an extra mouth to feed. A child needs to be cared for so that they won't enter the "system." Period. End of story. The child enters their home.
So when my friend's mom wants to get what will probably amount to about a $1500 tax credit for this child she has raised all year long, I feel like it's a very small cost to us, the taxpayers, to provide her with that. After all, putting the child in foster care or out on the street may have cost us much, much more in the short term and the long term--financially and otherwise.
It's a hard job. Raising someone else's child means less for your own children. Rationing the money out for everyone in the household means even if there was enough before, extracurricular clubs and activities that would help develop a child and prepare them for college are probably not even considered. And college? I rarely hear that as something a parent has extra money to save for their own child, let alone for a couple of others they've raised along the way.
Last year, as a result of my Christmas gift, The Awe-manac: A Daily Dose of Wonder, and it's suggestion to create annual awards, I created my own. This year as I reflect, the people who take it upon themselves to raise other people's children without any fanfare or recognition deserve to be commended. Thank you for what you do!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Photographic memories of "At-risk" youth
Ahhh...finally a little down time this week. The summer program is over and we are ramping up for our After-School programs. No light task, but it does allow for a slight reprieve.
To allow me to procrastinate the planning I need to do for the Education Department training week and ensure I'll be working under a tight deadline for no reason, I decided to change offices. It's a bigger office with more windows and more wall space. I can get all of the papers off of the floor and organize a little better.
As with all moving jobs, it allowed me to sift through stuff, throwing away the pointless, old stuff and discovering treasures I had forgotten about long ago. Some of the treasures were photos I'd enlarged or printed on regular paper and stashed away until I could find frames or reasons to use them. Now is that time.
After a few days of cleaning, sifting, and moving furniture, I began to hang photos. I found some frames that had been donated...but others were hung simply with "tacky" directly on the wall. Once I completed the move and had all of the photos hung, I looked around and realized the framing definitely gave it a little "umph," but it wasn't the frames that I was going for when I printed the pictures. It's the meaning behind each one.
- a high school graduation picture
- two young girls playing and grinning from ear to ear
- a little boy dressed in a clown suit
- friends and cousins jumbled together for a photo op
- elementary girls helping each other by explaining the homework assignment
- a little boy on Santa's lap
- a "cool" teenager posing for a picture
- boys playing bingo
- a group of teenagers that are unlikely friends, but bonded because of they all live in the same housing development
- a hand-drawn picture that says, "God made us equal. And his love too."
- a young boy who dropped out of high school, had a baby, and is now married but still has no desire to finish school
- a young boy who wants to go to college now, at 19, but is struggling because he made a decision to drop out of a college class and now has to pay financial aid back before he can enroll
- a couple of kids who, despite their best efforts, are quite a challenge to handle when it comes to behavior issues
- a boy who never wanted to be associated as living in the "projects" and always saw himself as better than the rest of the people there
- a little girl who has grown into a young teenager with college aspirations
- a girl who was prostituted by her mother so she could buy drugs
- a young man who was shot and killed at 21 years of age as he sat at a bus stop
- a college student in her honors program who will probably finish college in 3 1/2 years
- kids who now frequent the library/bookstore
- a little girl who has a very loving grandfather raising her because her mother can't
I love that I can now sit at my desk and reflect on each of these moments that I've been a part of over the years. Each of the youth in the pictures are extremely special to me.
The more devastating situations make me realize how far we have to go....
...and the celebratory ones make me realize how much is possible.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Who influences you?
My journal today asked me to make a list of people who have had an influence on me and write one to two words about how they inspired or helped me.
As usual, the process of writing takes it's own direction. This morning as I started making my list with the usual names--Larry James, my mom, my dad, Lisa Nigro...you know, adults who mentored me...I began thinking harder to see who I was missing. I then started listing Jessica, Gary, Monique, and so many others. Very quickly, my list became disproportionately populated with names of children and teens (and now college students) I know.
As I wrote, I began realizing that the large majority of people who inspire, influence, and help me are the children and teens. Though some adults (and a lot of teachers) have inspired me, it is the self-determination of the kids that moves me. Despite their circumstances, they have sheer determination to succeed. They push themselves. They struggle to find their way. Sometimes they call on me, but often they don’t. It is their actions and their self-determination that inspires me.
Writing through that made me realize that it is not my job that keeps me in the position I'm in (though I do enjoy it), it is being able to work with such amazing youth and knowing there's so much more to them than we often see on the outside.What keeps me in my job is knowing them, seeing how self-determined they are and knowing they deserve more. They influence me, they help me understand. They are my inspiration.
Who influences you?
As usual, the process of writing takes it's own direction. This morning as I started making my list with the usual names--Larry James, my mom, my dad, Lisa Nigro...you know, adults who mentored me...I began thinking harder to see who I was missing. I then started listing Jessica, Gary, Monique, and so many others. Very quickly, my list became disproportionately populated with names of children and teens (and now college students) I know.
As I wrote, I began realizing that the large majority of people who inspire, influence, and help me are the children and teens. Though some adults (and a lot of teachers) have inspired me, it is the self-determination of the kids that moves me. Despite their circumstances, they have sheer determination to succeed. They push themselves. They struggle to find their way. Sometimes they call on me, but often they don’t. It is their actions and their self-determination that inspires me.
Writing through that made me realize that it is not my job that keeps me in the position I'm in (though I do enjoy it), it is being able to work with such amazing youth and knowing there's so much more to them than we often see on the outside.What keeps me in my job is knowing them, seeing how self-determined they are and knowing they deserve more. They influence me, they help me understand. They are my inspiration.
Who influences you?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Niesha--Actress and Play Director
The South Dallas Cultural Center is a fairly small theater that, depending on the event, seats probably around 100-200 people (Don't quote me on that...spacial estimations were never my strong point!). Every seat allows great access to a good view and close proximity to the stage. I saw that their Soul Children's Theater would be performing Tales of the Mouse this weekend--a great opportunity to take children with me.
Niesha (9) and Tatiana (6) were chosen to go from the After-School Academy. As we drove to the play, I asked them if they'd ever been to a play before. "No," both responded. I asked what they thought a play was. (Tatiana explained a play was what you did when you go to the park. :) )
At the beginning of the play, Mr. Harold (the director) informed the audience there would be audience participation and everyone needed to help. He then immediately asked for volunteers. I was surprised when Niesha raised her hand (albeit a little hesitantly) on the very first opportunity. Mr. Harold called Niesha and another child to the stage to lead the audience in a call and response exchange.
Once she sat down and the play started, Niesha settled in. She never fell asleep, but she was leaned over and somewhat curled up in the chair. Though she didn't look bored, she wasn't on the edge of her seat either.
Toward the end of the play, they asked for volunteers again. This time Niesha was quick to raise her hand and become a part of the interactive play. She was asked to engage in a tug-of-war on Elephant's side as he pulled against Hippopotamus. I was happy that she felt comfortable enough to engage with the actors on stage. However, I must admit my total surprise and elation with what happened after the play.
After the curtain call, actors allowed the audience to take pictures and hold some of the props (like the spear and mask). As Niesha held the spear and after the picture was snapped, she transformed into the role. She began creeping along the side of the stage...just as they did in the play. She started repeating the lines verbatim. I laughed and told Mr. Harold I think he had just lost his role in the play.
A few other kids joined in, including Niesha's sister and some of the actors from the play. Niesha began directing people (including the actors!) to, "Stand here," "You're supposed to move like this," "You say this when you walk," "You're supposed to run that direction!" I had laugh. Not only was she repeating the play and the actors movements word-for-word, she had begun directing the director!
Never underestimate what new experiences can inspire in a child...and never underestimate what a child takes in when you least expect it.
Niesha (9) and Tatiana (6) were chosen to go from the After-School Academy. As we drove to the play, I asked them if they'd ever been to a play before. "No," both responded. I asked what they thought a play was. (Tatiana explained a play was what you did when you go to the park. :) )
At the beginning of the play, Mr. Harold (the director) informed the audience there would be audience participation and everyone needed to help. He then immediately asked for volunteers. I was surprised when Niesha raised her hand (albeit a little hesitantly) on the very first opportunity. Mr. Harold called Niesha and another child to the stage to lead the audience in a call and response exchange.
Once she sat down and the play started, Niesha settled in. She never fell asleep, but she was leaned over and somewhat curled up in the chair. Though she didn't look bored, she wasn't on the edge of her seat either.
Toward the end of the play, they asked for volunteers again. This time Niesha was quick to raise her hand and become a part of the interactive play. She was asked to engage in a tug-of-war on Elephant's side as he pulled against Hippopotamus. I was happy that she felt comfortable enough to engage with the actors on stage. However, I must admit my total surprise and elation with what happened after the play.
After the curtain call, actors allowed the audience to take pictures and hold some of the props (like the spear and mask). As Niesha held the spear and after the picture was snapped, she transformed into the role. She began creeping along the side of the stage...just as they did in the play. She started repeating the lines verbatim. I laughed and told Mr. Harold I think he had just lost his role in the play.
A few other kids joined in, including Niesha's sister and some of the actors from the play. Niesha began directing people (including the actors!) to, "Stand here," "You're supposed to move like this," "You say this when you walk," "You're supposed to run that direction!" I had laugh. Not only was she repeating the play and the actors movements word-for-word, she had begun directing the director!
Never underestimate what new experiences can inspire in a child...and never underestimate what a child takes in when you least expect it.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Community Crusader Award of 2009
A Community Crusader is a person who creates solutions to a local problem or social issue. This year I feel two people deserve this award: Susie Marshall and Shawn Williams.
Susie Marshall
Though I met Susie several years ago when we took the kids to pick blueberries in Gainesville, TX, I have found Susie to be an extremely dedicated friend to the After-School Academy. She began working with us more consistently during the 2008-2009 school year where she committed to coming once a month to teach the kids gardening lessons. By the end of the school year, Susie was stopping by the ASA randomly and helping out. This summer, she started working more diligently to help develop a community garden within Roseland. Susie stuck with us as DHA wavered back and forth and/or completely ignored our requests to utilize the grassy, fenced-in space behind the ASA.
When the approval finally came, Susie was ready. She had already been teaching the children about gardening. She had been growing little seedlings inside and doing what she could. The approval allowed us to get into the gate and begin plowing up the garden. But Susie ran into another roadblock. The dirt was so hard that it couldn’t even be tilled.
The set back didn’t stop Susie. She researched “lasagna gardening,” gathered a group of teens from the Lake Highlands youth group, and they came out to work with our summer program kids to layer the garden with leaves, soil, and mulch. Shortly thereafter, the garden was planted and things began to grow.
In the fall, Susie continued. Though she is still only “scheduled” to come every other week to the After-School Academy to teach about gardening, she is there at least once a week and sometimes more. She has mentored a few of the kids so that they are now considered “garden apprentices.” Because of Susie, we have seen young gardeners like Ladaysha and Niemen develop.
The partnership is not finished. Mid-semester, Susie started a second garden so that we could have rotating crops. The goal is to eventually get the kids working on their own and to possible rent out plots to neighbors in the community so that they can have their own space to garden.
Susie MarshallThough I met Susie several years ago when we took the kids to pick blueberries in Gainesville, TX, I have found Susie to be an extremely dedicated friend to the After-School Academy. She began working with us more consistently during the 2008-2009 school year where she committed to coming once a month to teach the kids gardening lessons. By the end of the school year, Susie was stopping by the ASA randomly and helping out. This summer, she started working more diligently to help develop a community garden within Roseland. Susie stuck with us as DHA wavered back and forth and/or completely ignored our requests to utilize the grassy, fenced-in space behind the ASA.
When the approval finally came, Susie was ready. She had already been teaching the children about gardening. She had been growing little seedlings inside and doing what she could. The approval allowed us to get into the gate and begin plowing up the garden. But Susie ran into another roadblock. The dirt was so hard that it couldn’t even be tilled.
The set back didn’t stop Susie. She researched “lasagna gardening,” gathered a group of teens from the Lake Highlands youth group, and they came out to work with our summer program kids to layer the garden with leaves, soil, and mulch. Shortly thereafter, the garden was planted and things began to grow.
In the fall, Susie continued. Though she is still only “scheduled” to come every other week to the After-School Academy to teach about gardening, she is there at least once a week and sometimes more. She has mentored a few of the kids so that they are now considered “garden apprentices.” Because of Susie, we have seen young gardeners like Ladaysha and Niemen develop.
The partnership is not finished. Mid-semester, Susie started a second garden so that we could have rotating crops. The goal is to eventually get the kids working on their own and to possible rent out plots to neighbors in the community so that they can have their own space to garden.
Shawn Williams
I met Shawn last fall at the Democratic National Convention. Strangely enough, he and his friend, Brian, were walking one way while I, and my friend, Pam, were walking another. As was the nature of the friendliness of the convention, everyone spoke to each other, if only to say, “hi.” It was when I overheard my friend introduce herself to Brian and Brian returned the greeting by saying, “We’re with Dallas South Blog,” that I became very interested. “I read your blog!” I exclaimed. How strange that I should randomly meet people in Denver that I knew about but had never seen when in Dallas.
I found out it was Shawn who actually did the writing on Dallas South’s blog. I was there as a blogger as well. So while I unabashedly threw myself at politicians asking to take pictures of them to post on my blog, Shawn calmly sought out people he noticed and asked for interviews and made some amazing connections. After an amazing week in Denver, Shawn and I returned to our lives in Dallas, but remained friends. That was in August of 2008.
Even though we remained friends, I never expected the phone call I received that asked me first to be on his advisory board, and then moved me to the board of the new endeavor he had decided to start, “Dallas South News.” I was honored to be asked. 1) Because I knew how composed he was when scoping out and interviewing people, 2) I knew how crazy I had looked throwing myself at all of the politicians and was sure he must think I was a nut case, but most of all 3) Because his new endeavor was focused on getting the news to the people, by the people...in the form of citizen journalists.
As Dallas South News developed and continues to develop, Shawn has offered and is very committed to come weekly to our After-School Academy to teach a Junior Reporters class for our 3rd-5th graders. Over a single semester, I have been so impressed with how quickly and easily the kids have picked up interviewing skills, learned how to use the Flip video cameras, and taken to the reporting. Even some of our toughest kids have shown some amazing growth being in the class. I have also been impressed with Shawn’s ability to engage them. I love that he is very methodical (yet very flexible) about his approach and, unlike me, is patient and teaches them one thing at a time, allowing them to grasp skills.
When Shawn first started coming, I would ask, “How did class go?” to which he would reply, “It was all right. They still need a lot of work.” To which I would grow frustrated. I wanted the kids in our After-School Academy to be awesome from day one! Each time I expressed my frustration, Shawn would explain to me, “If they didn’t need work, you and I wouldn’t need to be here. Of course they’re going to need work.”
I so much appreciate Shawn’s attitude. Shawn deserves this award because of his determination to not just expect, but that he is willing to go out and teach and equip a new “crew” of people to be a part of Dallas South. But through our friendship, Shawn has also taught me a lot about being gracious toward people with good intentions. He teaches me patience with the learning curve that some of our kids have been placed on. His patience with my questions and frustrations about our society helps me to see a bigger picture. It is his ability to see that bigger picture that I think is what has allowed Dallas South News to come into existence and what I believe will help Dallas South News to grow into something bigger.
Shameless plug: We need your help to make that dream grow…and to continue to equip more Junior Reporters and Citizen Journalists so that our under-represented communities can become more represented as we move forward. Please consider helping by becoming a $10/month supporter. Sign up here.
I met Shawn last fall at the Democratic National Convention. Strangely enough, he and his friend, Brian, were walking one way while I, and my friend, Pam, were walking another. As was the nature of the friendliness of the convention, everyone spoke to each other, if only to say, “hi.” It was when I overheard my friend introduce herself to Brian and Brian returned the greeting by saying, “We’re with Dallas South Blog,” that I became very interested. “I read your blog!” I exclaimed. How strange that I should randomly meet people in Denver that I knew about but had never seen when in Dallas.
I found out it was Shawn who actually did the writing on Dallas South’s blog. I was there as a blogger as well. So while I unabashedly threw myself at politicians asking to take pictures of them to post on my blog, Shawn calmly sought out people he noticed and asked for interviews and made some amazing connections. After an amazing week in Denver, Shawn and I returned to our lives in Dallas, but remained friends. That was in August of 2008.
Even though we remained friends, I never expected the phone call I received that asked me first to be on his advisory board, and then moved me to the board of the new endeavor he had decided to start, “Dallas South News.” I was honored to be asked. 1) Because I knew how composed he was when scoping out and interviewing people, 2) I knew how crazy I had looked throwing myself at all of the politicians and was sure he must think I was a nut case, but most of all 3) Because his new endeavor was focused on getting the news to the people, by the people...in the form of citizen journalists.
As Dallas South News developed and continues to develop, Shawn has offered and is very committed to come weekly to our After-School Academy to teach a Junior Reporters class for our 3rd-5th graders. Over a single semester, I have been so impressed with how quickly and easily the kids have picked up interviewing skills, learned how to use the Flip video cameras, and taken to the reporting. Even some of our toughest kids have shown some amazing growth being in the class. I have also been impressed with Shawn’s ability to engage them. I love that he is very methodical (yet very flexible) about his approach and, unlike me, is patient and teaches them one thing at a time, allowing them to grasp skills.
When Shawn first started coming, I would ask, “How did class go?” to which he would reply, “It was all right. They still need a lot of work.” To which I would grow frustrated. I wanted the kids in our After-School Academy to be awesome from day one! Each time I expressed my frustration, Shawn would explain to me, “If they didn’t need work, you and I wouldn’t need to be here. Of course they’re going to need work.”
I so much appreciate Shawn’s attitude. Shawn deserves this award because of his determination to not just expect, but that he is willing to go out and teach and equip a new “crew” of people to be a part of Dallas South. But through our friendship, Shawn has also taught me a lot about being gracious toward people with good intentions. He teaches me patience with the learning curve that some of our kids have been placed on. His patience with my questions and frustrations about our society helps me to see a bigger picture. It is his ability to see that bigger picture that I think is what has allowed Dallas South News to come into existence and what I believe will help Dallas South News to grow into something bigger.
Shameless plug: We need your help to make that dream grow…and to continue to equip more Junior Reporters and Citizen Journalists so that our under-represented communities can become more represented as we move forward. Please consider helping by becoming a $10/month supporter. Sign up here.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Championing Children Award for 2009
Carla Ranger
This year, Carla Ranger stood up. She faced an entire school board of powerful people and demanded better for our children. She challenged their decision to create longer term limits that would benefit themselves. She spoke out so much that she lost her job at the Community College, though that was said to not have been related. The community rallied together and fought for Ms. Ranger until she was given her job back at the Community College. Though she could have let pride stop her from returning, Carla (and, yes, she has given me permission to call her that) seems to have a bigger goal in mind—the quality education of our children. She returned to the Community College.
Carla came to speak at our first Parent Academy meeting in Roseland TownHomes. She was passionate and she connected with the parents. Despite the obstacles she’s faced this year, she continues to be a voice for the children. From the short time I’ve been around her this year, I know that her words are not hollow. She will continue to stand up. She will continue to be a voice for the children. She will continue to fight for what is right…even if it means risking her own livelihood. Though I like to think of myself as courageous, Carla Ranger helps me believe even more so in what I’ve always known--our children deserve to have someone bold enough to fight for their rights.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Learning from Precious
Have you seen the movie Precious? If not, it's a must-see. But not just for a night out. Precious exists to pique our conscious. Read the book as well. The movie stays pretty true to the book, but the book provides even more insight.
I wanted to watch the movie because several years ago one of the teenagers were sitting in my apartment. We were having some kind of serious discussion and one of them mentioned that she had been sexually molested by her mother's boyfriend. One by one, the other girls spoke up...“Me, too…me, too…me, too…”
I had no idea what to do. We worked to try to get the most recent one to counseling but her grandmother resisted and her mother denied it had ever happened.
More recently one of them text'd me to let me know she was ok, but she had just tried to commit suicide. I couldn't believe it. She's in college and she had just told me how well she was doing! She explained that she had repressed her memories, but knew she needed to know. When her sister told her what all had happened, she couldn't take the reality. The residual of what happened when she was four or five years old still haunts her.
Just the other day when I was telling another young adult about my idea to have one of the girls I know speak about their situation in hopes of helping another young teenager speak out, she explained that she had also been sexually abused. She went on to tell me she knew of quite a few others who had been victims as well.
Why????????
I don’t understand! Where do these sick, sick men come from?? And why can’t we stop them??
I had heard one time that 75% of women…or maybe it was 75% of African-American women had been sexually abused. 75%! That’s 3 out of 4 women! And I would guess most times that abuser is never brought to justice because the women were too scared and unsure to tell when they were kids and by the time they became adults they felt like there was nothing that could be done. I've heard mothers say, "It happened to me and I'm fine so you will be, too." ...and they don't realize how it has manifested itself in so many other ways in their life.
As I read the book, I've been bothered even more. Precious didn’t know how to read until she was 16 and was, by chance, put into an alternative program. She thinks so little of herself because her mother always called her stupid and ugly. She was fat because of her mother's abusiveness toward her. She was raped not only by her own father, but she was also molested by her own mother.
I think about other kids I’ve known. I wonder what I *don't* know about their situations.
I think about a girl I knew who was sexually abused by her mother's boyfriend for so long. I wonder about her sister. I wonder if that's why she was always a slow learner. I wonder what a pre-GED program and literacy program could have and could still do for her today.
I’m so happy that we finally have teen programs at Central Dallas. I’m happy that we have young adults working with the teenagers who have been in their shoes. They know what the teens have gone through and they can relate to them in ways I never could.
But I am not satisfied.
We have to do more.
I have known so many adults who graduated from high school who are illiterate. After watching Precious, I wonder now if some of their childhood situations may have contributed in a much bigger way than we realize.
We are doing what we can, on a small scale, with the elementary kids and the teenagers. But we need a program that works on literacy. We need a pre-GED program. We need counselors--not the school referrals that send kids to counseling but only allow them three visits...not the school counselors (because they only administer tests and aren't real counselors anymore) ...and not the fly-by-night counseling services that come through the inner-city neighborhoods to make a buck, take on clients for a limit time until their funding runs out, and without even having the counseling ethics to tell a parent or client that they will be leaving, they disappear.
We need more programs like the ASA, Teen U, the Library, and Digital Connectors. Programs that exist for the long haul. Programs that don’t disappear. Programs that have such dedicated staff who care about the future of the kids and adults in the community. Programs that offer solutions instead of just pointing out the problems.
We’ve got to do more. Not just in Dallas, but everywhere.
I don’t know what that is just yet. I haven't figured out what we will start next. But I know we’ve got to do more.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Exposing kids at a young age
Every time I interact with kids, I realize how much they absorb when we least expect it. Some of the kids who are now young adults will mention something to me that I said or we did together that I either don't recall or didn't think was significant. It is those times when I realize how important it is to expose kids to a variety of events, concepts, and activities. All kids deserve to have a repertoire to draw from.
I heard about the Harmon and Harriet Kelley exhibit at the Amon Carter Museum in Fort Worth and thought it would be a great opportunity to take some kids. Tiffany, a current college student, has grown into a young adult who also appreciates these opportunities--for herself and the younger kids in her family, so I asked her to go. As expected, she brought along her two-year old niece and five-year old nephew. I took one of the kids in our summer program.All three of the kids we took were younger than 2nd grade, but the one-on-one ratio provided the perfect opportunity to help the kids learn art museum etiquette while challenging the kids to think, observe, and critique the art.
Mr. and Mrs. Kelley chose paintings for their collection that demonstrated positive images of black people--contrary to many images that were in art during that time period. Although the kids never commented on the skin color of the people in the paintings, they recognized families, hard-working people, and other small details. I know those subtle messages Mr. and Mrs. Kelley aimed for were absorbed.Before we went in, I asked the kids what they knew about art museums. They explained to me that it had birds, animals, and sand. I suppose they were confusing it with a zoo. When we came out, they still mentioned the birds and animals, but also understood that they were in the paintings.
When exposed, young kids can learn little lessons and make decisions about what they like and don't like...and can begin to develop the ability to hold educated conversations with people. After seeing the museum, Niemen decided, "I might work there."The exhibit is open until August 23, 2009.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The nice White lady
Because I am White, I am sobered and always a little disturbed by videos like this one:
Though I chuckle in disdain at how we always elevate "the White lady" in heroic ways, I also feel the video is somewhat unfair. There *are* white ladies who do this. They love and inspire kids. They help students discover the power of their voices. They have a connection with the kids.
The problem is, it's not *just* white ladies who do this. I think of my friends Dave Herman, Jennifer Stimpson, Sylvia Baylor, Anna Hart, John Carter, Kevin Mondy, Anabeli Ibarra, Ramiro Luna, Liz Cedillo, and so many others who do so much to influence kids, families, community, and society.
I appreciate the comments of Eugene Cho on his post here.
Some of his comments:
...people who have always lived in the community
...people who do what they can to inspire the kids, despite their lack of resources.
...people of color who have gone off to college, gotten their degree, and still feel the importance of returning to their old neighborhood or a similar neighborhood, to "give back"
It doesn't matter what color you are. The people who make a difference are the people who invest in kids in a real and meaningful way. And we need more of these people.
Though I chuckle in disdain at how we always elevate "the White lady" in heroic ways, I also feel the video is somewhat unfair. There *are* white ladies who do this. They love and inspire kids. They help students discover the power of their voices. They have a connection with the kids.
The problem is, it's not *just* white ladies who do this. I think of my friends Dave Herman, Jennifer Stimpson, Sylvia Baylor, Anna Hart, John Carter, Kevin Mondy, Anabeli Ibarra, Ramiro Luna, Liz Cedillo, and so many others who do so much to influence kids, families, community, and society.
I appreciate the comments of Eugene Cho on his post here.
Some of his comments:
- In the big picture, it’s not about the nice white lady … it’s about those with power, privilege, and opportunities, and how we share them with others to empower. Many of us who are reading this likely fall under “the have’s” rather than the “have not’s”…
- It’s not just about the nice white teacher. It’s about the students: young women and men that need opportunities, need to be lovingly challenged and encouraged, and need folks to believe and invest in them.
- The frustration is when we exclusively elevate the nice white lady when we should be praising so many of the educators in our society.
...people who have always lived in the community
...people who do what they can to inspire the kids, despite their lack of resources.
...people of color who have gone off to college, gotten their degree, and still feel the importance of returning to their old neighborhood or a similar neighborhood, to "give back"
It doesn't matter what color you are. The people who make a difference are the people who invest in kids in a real and meaningful way. And we need more of these people.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The cost of poverty
I've always wondered why someone like Michael Jordan could walk into a restaurant and get a free meal, but someone who is homeless would be required and demanded to pay full price.
There is nothing easy about being poor.
Being poor takes extra money. Being poor takes extra intelligence. Being poor takes extra determination. Being poor takes extra time. But nothing is set up in our system to allow that extra money, intelligence, determination, or time.
When I was young, my mother used to watch for bargains and stock up. She stocked up and stored it all in our basement or in our multiple freezers. I still follow her philosophy. But I realize people who only have a set amount of money each month and a small apartment can't afford to get ahead like that. They have to buy what's available at the time, which is often more expensive.
The intelligence needed is astounding to me--especially in light of the poor way schools in low-income areas often operate. This summer we are trying to utilize free software available on the internet. We want the kids to realize we are using tools that they have access to without spending money they don't have. However, each free tool takes extra plug-ins and takes a huge amount of knowledge to figure out what other program(s) you have to have to convert the file into a readable format. It would be so much easier to use software we pay for.
Which leads to my point about determination...and refers back to my point about the time it takes to be poor. A person has to be extremely determined to figure out how these tools work...which also takes a lot of time. If a person is working, has a family, hasn't been equipped with even a base-knowledge of technology or education, this determination seems pointless. It would be very easy to give up and exist at what is already known.
Finally, it takes extra time to be poor. One of my friends has been poor for some time now. But she doesn't believe in government assistance. After looking for a job for several months, she decided she would have to resort to being considered "low-income" and went to the office to apply. She explained that they asked her for her life story and they require her to keep going for appointments. Without a car, those hours spent on the bus and in the welfare offices add up to a lot of time spent away from job search and family.
As I am reading Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence book, I realize there is another cost of poverty. There is an emotional cost. And that emotional cost feeds all of the other areas.
A lot of the parents I know speak with short, frustrated commands. They are tired of years of struggle and that struggle gets passed on to their children. They work or go to school all day and don't have the energy or desire to deal with a crying baby or, when the children are older, to take their children places...even if those places are free. When a parent is too frustrated to have empathy toward their children, the children learn to avoid expressing emotions that would need empathetic responses. The reflection of these responses begin in a child's infancy.
Emotional neglect has cyclical effects. It dulls empathy skills but can also result in hyper-sensitivity to emotions and comments of those around them, causing children to react defensively and in anger to comments that could have been resolved easily.
The combination of all of the above often results in a downward spiral. The children who achieve in spite of are those with amazing resilience and are the exceptions to the rule.
The solutions are complex. We have a lot of work to do. We must create learning environments that inspire a release of creativity and allows kids to get lost in their passions. We need to do a much better job of educating children and providing them with opportunities to grow and explore. We need to think through our current society that raises prices in low-income areas and lowers prices in higher income communities.
The emotional toll has huge consequences to all of us. Goleman sites a higher rate of crime from those who have these emotional voids. It is not a problem for those who are poor; it is a problem for all of us. We all must work together to solve it.
There is nothing easy about being poor.
Being poor takes extra money. Being poor takes extra intelligence. Being poor takes extra determination. Being poor takes extra time. But nothing is set up in our system to allow that extra money, intelligence, determination, or time.
When I was young, my mother used to watch for bargains and stock up. She stocked up and stored it all in our basement or in our multiple freezers. I still follow her philosophy. But I realize people who only have a set amount of money each month and a small apartment can't afford to get ahead like that. They have to buy what's available at the time, which is often more expensive.
The intelligence needed is astounding to me--especially in light of the poor way schools in low-income areas often operate. This summer we are trying to utilize free software available on the internet. We want the kids to realize we are using tools that they have access to without spending money they don't have. However, each free tool takes extra plug-ins and takes a huge amount of knowledge to figure out what other program(s) you have to have to convert the file into a readable format. It would be so much easier to use software we pay for.
Which leads to my point about determination...and refers back to my point about the time it takes to be poor. A person has to be extremely determined to figure out how these tools work...which also takes a lot of time. If a person is working, has a family, hasn't been equipped with even a base-knowledge of technology or education, this determination seems pointless. It would be very easy to give up and exist at what is already known.
Finally, it takes extra time to be poor. One of my friends has been poor for some time now. But she doesn't believe in government assistance. After looking for a job for several months, she decided she would have to resort to being considered "low-income" and went to the office to apply. She explained that they asked her for her life story and they require her to keep going for appointments. Without a car, those hours spent on the bus and in the welfare offices add up to a lot of time spent away from job search and family.
As I am reading Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence book, I realize there is another cost of poverty. There is an emotional cost. And that emotional cost feeds all of the other areas.
A lot of the parents I know speak with short, frustrated commands. They are tired of years of struggle and that struggle gets passed on to their children. They work or go to school all day and don't have the energy or desire to deal with a crying baby or, when the children are older, to take their children places...even if those places are free. When a parent is too frustrated to have empathy toward their children, the children learn to avoid expressing emotions that would need empathetic responses. The reflection of these responses begin in a child's infancy.
Emotional neglect has cyclical effects. It dulls empathy skills but can also result in hyper-sensitivity to emotions and comments of those around them, causing children to react defensively and in anger to comments that could have been resolved easily.
The combination of all of the above often results in a downward spiral. The children who achieve in spite of are those with amazing resilience and are the exceptions to the rule.
The solutions are complex. We have a lot of work to do. We must create learning environments that inspire a release of creativity and allows kids to get lost in their passions. We need to do a much better job of educating children and providing them with opportunities to grow and explore. We need to think through our current society that raises prices in low-income areas and lowers prices in higher income communities.
The emotional toll has huge consequences to all of us. Goleman sites a higher rate of crime from those who have these emotional voids. It is not a problem for those who are poor; it is a problem for all of us. We all must work together to solve it.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Making music
I know it can be frustrating being a teacher, but what an amazing profession!
Teachers have such an opportunity to impact children and completely change their perspective on life. It was obvious that the three orchestra/band teachers at Lang have done just that with quite a large group of kids. Somehow, they have made orchestra cool for lots of kids--boys and girls alike.
Mrs. Poquette-Drews, Mr. Covey, and Mr. Woods deserve lots of accolades. What an amazing ability to teach kids how to play an instrument, concentrate, work in conjunction with others, and so much more.
Nathan is one of their students. I've been asking Nathan all year to tell me when his orchestra concerts are. It took him all year, but tonight was the night: Lane Middle School Spring Orchestra concert.
I went, not because I'm a big orchestra fan, but because I am a big Nathan fan. However, I must admit, I truly enjoyed this orchestra concert.
Turns out, Nathan's a cello player in the advanced orchestra! He never told me he was in the advanced orchestra!! I'm so impressed with what he's learned and continues to learn. Last year he played the viola. But I believe he has found an instrument he likes even better. I think next year we'll get to hear an even more advanced cello player. I'm so thorougly impressed and proud.
Check him out here:
Teachers have such an opportunity to impact children and completely change their perspective on life. It was obvious that the three orchestra/band teachers at Lang have done just that with quite a large group of kids. Somehow, they have made orchestra cool for lots of kids--boys and girls alike.
Mrs. Poquette-Drews, Mr. Covey, and Mr. Woods deserve lots of accolades. What an amazing ability to teach kids how to play an instrument, concentrate, work in conjunction with others, and so much more.
Nathan is one of their students. I've been asking Nathan all year to tell me when his orchestra concerts are. It took him all year, but tonight was the night: Lane Middle School Spring Orchestra concert.
I went, not because I'm a big orchestra fan, but because I am a big Nathan fan. However, I must admit, I truly enjoyed this orchestra concert.
Turns out, Nathan's a cello player in the advanced orchestra! He never told me he was in the advanced orchestra!! I'm so impressed with what he's learned and continues to learn. Last year he played the viola. But I believe he has found an instrument he likes even better. I think next year we'll get to hear an even more advanced cello player. I'm so thorougly impressed and proud.
Check him out here:
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Where are we headed?
Technology is moving at light speed. We MUST provide ALL children with the opportunities to interact with current technology and give them the opportunity to explore new possibilities. Most of the public schools I know provide "technology" by "allowing" a child to practice their standardized test on the computer...or take an Accelerated Reader book test on a computer. If they are really stepping outside of the box, they may allow the children to play on the internet and go to advertised sites like Nickelodian.
We have got to do better than that. Technology offers endless possibilities to our children's future. If our children did nothing but focus on technology, I believe they would be better prepared to be successful. Our world is headed in that direction. Why deny poor children that opportunity?? ...or worse, why limit them by telling them the most technology offers is tests and pointless "games" on the computer.
Here is a video that shows where we are headed. The end of the video shows the guy who has created this new technology. He can't be more than 25 years old. We have got to do more to technologically equip our children and our communities.
We have got to do better than that. Technology offers endless possibilities to our children's future. If our children did nothing but focus on technology, I believe they would be better prepared to be successful. Our world is headed in that direction. Why deny poor children that opportunity?? ...or worse, why limit them by telling them the most technology offers is tests and pointless "games" on the computer.
Here is a video that shows where we are headed. The end of the video shows the guy who has created this new technology. He can't be more than 25 years old. We have got to do more to technologically equip our children and our communities.
Friday, March 27, 2009
DREAM Act Reintroduced!
For more information on the DREAM Act and the individuals this act will affect, click here.
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Dear DREAM Advocate,
It is with great delight that we inform you that the DREAM Act has been re-introduced in the US House & Senate!
However, this is only the beginning of something amazing! We still need to remain focused on our goal - MAKING the DREAM Act a REALITY. Now more than ever, our congress members need to hear our youth's desire to become educated and productive citizens.
While you take action, please keep in mind that Numbers USA knows that the DREAM Act has been introduced and are asking their membership to call in OPPOSITION.
DREAM Advocate, this is our time to join forces and SUCCEED for the sake of our youth and the betterment of our nation.
Yours truly,
United We DREAM,
dreamactivist.org
Texas DREAM Act Coalition, &
University Leadership Initiative
Message from the National Immigration Law Center
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
1. Between today and April 3rd - Contact your Members of Congress (your Representative and BOTH Senators) and ask them to co-sponsor the DREAM Act.
2. Between April 4-19, 2009 - Members of Congress will be back in their states and districts . This is a perfect opportunity to meet with your Representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the bill. Make arrangements to meet with your representatives and if you have an event planned, invite the Representatives to attend.
3. Email your Representative - an email will automatically be sent to your Representatives asking him/her to co-sponsor the DREAM Act.
4. Sign the petition. Our goal is to have 65,000 people sign the petition - representing the number of students who graduate each year from high school who would benefit from the DREAM Act.
Lastly and most importantly, in order to pass the DREAM Act, we will need 60 votes in the Senate and 218 in the House!
Like you, we are eager to pass the DREAM Act and cannot wait to celebrate our victory. Please contact us if you have any questions or comments.
Sincerely,
University Leadership Initiative
www.universityleadership.org
ourdream2005@gmail.com
Dear DREAM Advocate,
It is with great delight that we inform you that the DREAM Act has been re-introduced in the US House & Senate!
However, this is only the beginning of something amazing! We still need to remain focused on our goal - MAKING the DREAM Act a REALITY. Now more than ever, our congress members need to hear our youth's desire to become educated and productive citizens.
While you take action, please keep in mind that Numbers USA knows that the DREAM Act has been introduced and are asking their membership to call in OPPOSITION.
DREAM Advocate, this is our time to join forces and SUCCEED for the sake of our youth and the betterment of our nation.
Yours truly,
United We DREAM,
dreamactivist.org
Texas DREAM Act Coalition, &
University Leadership Initiative
Message from the National Immigration Law Center
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
1. Between today and April 3rd - Contact your Members of Congress (your Representative and BOTH Senators) and ask them to co-sponsor the DREAM Act.
2. Between April 4-19, 2009 - Members of Congress will be back in their states and districts . This is a perfect opportunity to meet with your Representatives and ask them to co-sponsor the bill. Make arrangements to meet with your representatives and if you have an event planned, invite the Representatives to attend.
3. Email your Representative - an email will automatically be sent to your Representatives asking him/her to co-sponsor the DREAM Act.
4. Sign the petition. Our goal is to have 65,000 people sign the petition - representing the number of students who graduate each year from high school who would benefit from the DREAM Act.
Lastly and most importantly, in order to pass the DREAM Act, we will need 60 votes in the Senate and 218 in the House!
Like you, we are eager to pass the DREAM Act and cannot wait to celebrate our victory. Please contact us if you have any questions or comments.
Sincerely,
University Leadership Initiative
www.universityleadership.org
ourdream2005@gmail.com
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Encouraging fighting to solve problems
As I read the report about South Oak Cliff (SOC) high school using cage fighting to solve problems, I was troubled for more than the obvious reasons.
Evidently, "documents obtained by The Dallas Morning News show that troubled students were sent to duke it out – with bare fists and no head protection – in a steel utility cage in an athletic locker room. "...while..."students stood around clapping and screaming while watching the fight, as if they were in an arena."
Yes, our urban areas and urban schools can be violent places to be, unfortunately. But is perpetuating that violence really the way to go?
Though the principal at the time denies that he allowed it to go on or knew about it, I wonder if he bought into the belief that in inner city communities people have to be dealt with violently in order to make change. Respond with violence. That's the only thing they'll understand, right?
I've heard that sentiment from other people as well. I don't buy it.
In different parenting classes, I've often heard that we shouldn't spank kids because it teaches them to hit. I don't subscribe to that fully, but there is an underlying point there. If we yell at people, they often yell back. If we hit people, they will hit back. But if we don't feel like we can hurt the person who hurt us, the hurt and anger that is left behind is often taken out on the next person that comes along.
Treating people like animals in a cage creates the "zoo effect" that incenses me. It allows people to observe barbaric behavior at the expense of the people in that environment. How can we think that treating people like animals creates a setting where people feel dignified and respected in a way that behavior will change toward the better?
From the reports I've read, I would agree that SOC is a very challenging environment. Under the same principal who allowed the cage fighting, grades were adjusted so that certain players could play in the state basketball tournament. Creating an environment where high expectations are the norm and students are acknowledged and valued is not easy, but it is possible...and necessary.
We have to do better...for our kids...our communities. Our response affects everyone's future.
Evidently, "documents obtained by The Dallas Morning News show that troubled students were sent to duke it out – with bare fists and no head protection – in a steel utility cage in an athletic locker room. "...while..."students stood around clapping and screaming while watching the fight, as if they were in an arena."
Yes, our urban areas and urban schools can be violent places to be, unfortunately. But is perpetuating that violence really the way to go?
Though the principal at the time denies that he allowed it to go on or knew about it, I wonder if he bought into the belief that in inner city communities people have to be dealt with violently in order to make change. Respond with violence. That's the only thing they'll understand, right?
I've heard that sentiment from other people as well. I don't buy it.
In different parenting classes, I've often heard that we shouldn't spank kids because it teaches them to hit. I don't subscribe to that fully, but there is an underlying point there. If we yell at people, they often yell back. If we hit people, they will hit back. But if we don't feel like we can hurt the person who hurt us, the hurt and anger that is left behind is often taken out on the next person that comes along.
Treating people like animals in a cage creates the "zoo effect" that incenses me. It allows people to observe barbaric behavior at the expense of the people in that environment. How can we think that treating people like animals creates a setting where people feel dignified and respected in a way that behavior will change toward the better?
From the reports I've read, I would agree that SOC is a very challenging environment. Under the same principal who allowed the cage fighting, grades were adjusted so that certain players could play in the state basketball tournament. Creating an environment where high expectations are the norm and students are acknowledged and valued is not easy, but it is possible...and necessary.
We have to do better...for our kids...our communities. Our response affects everyone's future.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Wisdom of Melvin
Over the years I've had many inner city teenagers relay stories of teachers and administrators who discourage their dreams and encourage them to go to trade school because, "That's where you need to be."
I've always been frustrated by this. So, I try to take little opportunities to remind the kids that they have every capability they believe they have and should never let anyone tell them any different.
It was on one of these mini encouragement sessions that I began explaining to the kids that I am a college professor who teaches teachers. I stressed to them that the things they can do as a result of our technology class is more than most teachers. I went on to explain that because they were young and inquisitive they have endless potential in front of them and things we won't be able to teach them that they'll need to teach us.
I happened to mention that many of the teachers I teach resist technology. They refuse to even try. To which Melvin, so innocently replied with such wisdom that we should all heed:
"Miss Janet, if they don't want to learn then why do they want to be teachers?"
I've always been frustrated by this. So, I try to take little opportunities to remind the kids that they have every capability they believe they have and should never let anyone tell them any different.
It was on one of these mini encouragement sessions that I began explaining to the kids that I am a college professor who teaches teachers. I stressed to them that the things they can do as a result of our technology class is more than most teachers. I went on to explain that because they were young and inquisitive they have endless potential in front of them and things we won't be able to teach them that they'll need to teach us.
I happened to mention that many of the teachers I teach resist technology. They refuse to even try. To which Melvin, so innocently replied with such wisdom that we should all heed:
"Miss Janet, if they don't want to learn then why do they want to be teachers?"
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Obama signs SCHIP bill
One thing I truly respect about President Obama is his tireless dedication and commitment to ALL children...and ALL people.
Last week President Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter Act that will demand equal pay for equal work between men and women. This week he signed the SCHIP, a bill that will continue healthcare for 7 million children, provide healthcare to an additional 4 million children, and lift the ban on states to provide healthcare to legal immigrant children if they choose to do so.
In his speech, he committed to the children:
We are not a nation that leads struggling families to fin for themselves, especially when they’ve done everything right. No child in America should be receiving his or her primary care in an emergency room in the middle of the night. No child should be falling behind at school because he can’t hear the teacher or see the blackboard. I refuse to accept that millions of our children fail to reach their full potential because we fail to meet their basic needs. In a decent society, there are certain obligations that are not subject to tradeoffs or negotiations. And healthcare for our children is one of those obligations.
Despite the tax situations with his chosen leaders, I still say he's setting a good standard that ALL people should be treated equal--poor children and women included.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Life is hard. Mentoring is harder.
Vacation had started off pretty good. I had cleaned most of my house and had prepared two different meals--great for homemade leftovers. I was looking forward to coffee shops, reading, blogging, and working on some other longer-term projects.
About two hours into my coffee shop relaxation time, I got a phonecall from one of my 24-year old "kids." I have known him since he was about 11. He's always confided in me, for some reason, despite the fact that he recognizes that our experiences are completely different and there's no way I can possibly understand some of his circumstances.
About junior high, I began getting worried about him. He was such a quiet and shy kid in elementary school. Once he got into middle school, things started changing. He got involved with girls and became the girl-magnet. He was constantly in trouble at school. He transferred from school to school, trying to avoid problems. But, somehow, problems followed him. Evidently, he didn't like or respect most of the teachers and administrators at his school He wasn't a bad kid though. He became such a comedian and was *always* very respectful to me.
He made it through high school by resorting to an online diploma program. Once he had "graduated," we worked to get him into college. He only lasted a semester. But, he went out on his own and began working...a job he has to this day. A few years ago, he started going to a trade school for a certification that he recently finished.
I was worried about him early on but, unlike many of his friends and relatives, he has made some great choices over the years.
Today, though, his phonecall was out of frustration. One of his not-so-wise choices over the years was having four kids with two different moms. He has spent lots of money in trying to establish paternity and child support. Throughout that process, one of the moms has caused him a lot of grief, sending him back and forth to court and not letting him see the kids when she doesn't feel like it or when her new boyfriend is around.
Today I couldn't empathize with him though. I have no sympathy for him. He knew the girl was "messy" and trifling, yet he had not just one, but two kids with her. He hasn't followed up on the sporadic court processes (however, I wonder if he really knows how to do that in the way that would help his case. He's only 24!). He's spent thousands of dollars on attorneys trying to get his child support straightened out and I don't know enough about the process to tell him what he's doing right or wrong.
He may not be the best dad yet, but I get the sense he's trying. His dad has been in prison since he was a little kid, yet he's always been his role model. I thank God he finally got past trying to be like his dad.
After an hour of us arguing back and forth--me stressing responsibility and him saying he's giving up--I was exhausted and exasperated. Not only does he continue to spend money on child support and attorney fees for two of them, but he still has two other kids who need his attention...one who is sick right now and needs medical attention.
I don't know what to tell him. He's frustrated...and stubborn. Everything I offer he's supposedly already tried. He's tired. He's irritated. He calls me for the answers and I don't have them. I want to help him but I don't know how.
His solution is to get some "quick money" by selling drugs to help him get back on his feet. I know he tells me this for shock value, but I also know it's not unlikely. It's something he knows how to do...and it's the way his friends make ends meet. At this point, he doesn't care about the long-term consequences.
He wants to provide for his kids but he keeps running into brick walls. And now he has exhausted his money trying.
I want him to face the struggle...to figure it out. I want him to do that...I NEED him to do that for himself...his kids...his younger brother and sister...and for the community where he grew up. I need him to do that so *I* know it can be done. I want him to set the example that life can be tough, but you can persevere...but I don't know that it's that easy.
I know he's not the only one who has been in this situation, but I don't know what to tell him, how to encourage him, or what to say to challenge him. I don't know if our hour-long phone conversation made things better...or worse.
Growing up in the inner city is not just physically and economically challenging, it is mentally challenging as well. It's very hard to fight a community mindset and example that being moral, doing things the "right" way doesn't pay off. Living in the inner city makes it hard to worry about long-term consequences when immediate consequences are so prevalent.
Unfortunately, his (and others') choices are not within my control. I cannot will him to do the right thing. It's hard to know when to listen and when to direct. I can only hope I made the right decision and have the right balance of pushing, challenging, and caring.
About two hours into my coffee shop relaxation time, I got a phonecall from one of my 24-year old "kids." I have known him since he was about 11. He's always confided in me, for some reason, despite the fact that he recognizes that our experiences are completely different and there's no way I can possibly understand some of his circumstances.
About junior high, I began getting worried about him. He was such a quiet and shy kid in elementary school. Once he got into middle school, things started changing. He got involved with girls and became the girl-magnet. He was constantly in trouble at school. He transferred from school to school, trying to avoid problems. But, somehow, problems followed him. Evidently, he didn't like or respect most of the teachers and administrators at his school He wasn't a bad kid though. He became such a comedian and was *always* very respectful to me.
He made it through high school by resorting to an online diploma program. Once he had "graduated," we worked to get him into college. He only lasted a semester. But, he went out on his own and began working...a job he has to this day. A few years ago, he started going to a trade school for a certification that he recently finished.
I was worried about him early on but, unlike many of his friends and relatives, he has made some great choices over the years.
Today, though, his phonecall was out of frustration. One of his not-so-wise choices over the years was having four kids with two different moms. He has spent lots of money in trying to establish paternity and child support. Throughout that process, one of the moms has caused him a lot of grief, sending him back and forth to court and not letting him see the kids when she doesn't feel like it or when her new boyfriend is around.
Today I couldn't empathize with him though. I have no sympathy for him. He knew the girl was "messy" and trifling, yet he had not just one, but two kids with her. He hasn't followed up on the sporadic court processes (however, I wonder if he really knows how to do that in the way that would help his case. He's only 24!). He's spent thousands of dollars on attorneys trying to get his child support straightened out and I don't know enough about the process to tell him what he's doing right or wrong.
He may not be the best dad yet, but I get the sense he's trying. His dad has been in prison since he was a little kid, yet he's always been his role model. I thank God he finally got past trying to be like his dad.
After an hour of us arguing back and forth--me stressing responsibility and him saying he's giving up--I was exhausted and exasperated. Not only does he continue to spend money on child support and attorney fees for two of them, but he still has two other kids who need his attention...one who is sick right now and needs medical attention.
I don't know what to tell him. He's frustrated...and stubborn. Everything I offer he's supposedly already tried. He's tired. He's irritated. He calls me for the answers and I don't have them. I want to help him but I don't know how.
His solution is to get some "quick money" by selling drugs to help him get back on his feet. I know he tells me this for shock value, but I also know it's not unlikely. It's something he knows how to do...and it's the way his friends make ends meet. At this point, he doesn't care about the long-term consequences.
He wants to provide for his kids but he keeps running into brick walls. And now he has exhausted his money trying.
I want him to face the struggle...to figure it out. I want him to do that...I NEED him to do that for himself...his kids...his younger brother and sister...and for the community where he grew up. I need him to do that so *I* know it can be done. I want him to set the example that life can be tough, but you can persevere...but I don't know that it's that easy.
I know he's not the only one who has been in this situation, but I don't know what to tell him, how to encourage him, or what to say to challenge him. I don't know if our hour-long phone conversation made things better...or worse.
Growing up in the inner city is not just physically and economically challenging, it is mentally challenging as well. It's very hard to fight a community mindset and example that being moral, doing things the "right" way doesn't pay off. Living in the inner city makes it hard to worry about long-term consequences when immediate consequences are so prevalent.
Unfortunately, his (and others') choices are not within my control. I cannot will him to do the right thing. It's hard to know when to listen and when to direct. I can only hope I made the right decision and have the right balance of pushing, challenging, and caring.
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