Prayer Breakfast

I couldn't have said it better myself!...Wyshina, my friend and co-worker, a parent of two, and the coordinator of our After-School Academy, was the testimonial speaker at our Central Dallas Prayer Breakfast this morning. She did an absolutely amazing job. Read what she had to say:

My name is Wyshina Harris and I am a resident of South Dallas. I have two kids--a 10-year old daughter and a 5-year old son.

I want South Dallas to become a place where I don't have to worry about my kids' safety every day. We see violence and drug dealing all around us. We hear gunshots fired regularly. My kids still get scared when they hear the gunshots. I don't want my kids to get over being scared of that. Kids aren't supposed to get used to hearing gunfire outside their front door.

There are as many liquor stores as churches in South Dallas. I'd like to see that change. We need a decent grocery store, clothing store, and gas station. It's hard to travel all the way to North Dallas to buy a decent pair of sneakers for my kids.

My kids go to H.S. Thompson Elementary. When people outside of the neighborhood find out where my kids go to school, they say, "Oh my gosh. You let your kids go to school there?!" Well, what's my alternative?! That's the neighborhood school. I can't afford private school for my kids. Our school needs good teachers and counselors who will fight to get kids on par with their grade level rather than sticking them into slow learning classes. We need resources to enable our kids to learn technology and to explore the arts. We can't allow our schools to set our kids up to fail.

I will tell you that there are a lot of things that need fixing in our neighborhood. I will also tell you that there is a lot of hope and a lot of strength in our neighborhood.

I think sometimes people think that people in poverty are just too lazy to pull themselves out. That isn't true. My neighbors talk to me about desperately wanting to find work and wanting to go to school to change their lives. We want the same things for ourselves and our children that you want for yourselves and your children.

I'm not giving up on South Dallas. I ask that you not give up on South Dallas either. We don't need a handout. We need authentic, impactful partnerships to help us solve these issues.

I don't share this with you today because I want your pity. I share this because I want your partnership. I want to work with you, and with the future mayor of our great city, to make Dallas a better place for all of us.

Thank you for listening.


I am proud to know Wyshina and I am grateful for her friendship.

Wyshina (and others) are doing things in their community to make it a better place. But people like Wyshina can't do it alone. Wyshina asked for partnership..."I want to work with you..." is what she said. Wyshina is willing to work with. She did not ask for a group of 40 volunteers to come pick up trash out of her yard. She didn't ask for a youth group to come and play with her kids for the day. Wyshina mentioned much larger issues. Shootings. Leaving kids behind educationally. Lack of places to shop. Rampant liquor stores all around.

Help me partner with Wyshina. She knows what's needed and she has told us. Let's not ignore hers and others' requests because we have other ideas about the best ways to help people in the inner city. Wyshina lives there. She knows. Let's start paying attention.

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On our table were notecards guiding us to pray for critical issues around our city. Below were the ones on our table. Please pray...and then act...

Today, we can choose to make a difference in the lives of our neighbors in Dallas. Pray for our City.

Tonight in Dallas, someone is needlessly suffering from the effects of diabetes due to a lack of insurance. Pray for our City.

Tonight in Dallas, men, women, and children will sleep on the stsreets or in a shelter. Pray for our City.

Tonight in Dallas, children will go to bed hungry because their families cannot afford food. Pray for our City.

In memory of Wyshina Harris

My friend and former co-worker, Wyshina Harris, was killed yesterday morning.

Just two weeks ago Wyshina was calling me, so excited that she had been able to cast a vote for an African-American president. It was her I posted about here. As I was standing in shock and awe as 6000 people around me cheered, it was Wyshina who called as soon as the announcement that Barack Obama had been named our president. Since I couldn't hear a word she was saying, I called her on my way home that evening and we talked about our feelings about that moment, what was happening around us, and how we were moving things forward.

A short time before that she came to visit Sylvia and I at our new office in Roseland. As she sat at the table, she laughed and asked us to start a new enrichment class on her day off so that she could teach art, a class she had taught in Turner Courts and something she had discovered she really enjoyed when teaching it to the children.

Wyshina had a great smile, a great laugh, a great joy. She loved pictures and was very photogenic. I hate the picture the Dallas Morning News chose to put in the online edition of the paper. I have no idea where they found it, but I wish they had asked for something representative of her. Below are some pictures that remind me of Wyshina.

Click here or go to the blog search above and type in "Wyshina" to read about the number of ways she impacted the community and to read about her own motivation to make things different for her and her children.

Please pray for her two children and her family.

Neighborhoods get a bad rap--is it justified?

I absolutely love the neighborhood where I live as well as the one where I work. But some days, being a part of these neighborhoods frustrate me.

Both are low-income neighborhoods. There are good people in both neighborhoods. Unfortunately, some of the negatives of our community are much more visible and get much more publicity than the positives.

Just this week, Wyshina, my friend and the Assistant Coordinator for our After-School Academy in Turner Courts, witnessed a break in. As she was bringing things in off of her back porch, she saw three teenage boys run out of her neigbhor's back door. She knew her neighbor was at work so she called the police. When the police car arrived, Wyshina explained to him what had happened. One of the three boys was still standing right beside the apartment casually drinking the Gatorade he had stolen from the lady's home! Wyshina pointed him out to the police officer and explained that he was one of the boys who had broken in. Instead of getting out and investigating, the officer said there was nothing he could do and explained that when the lady came back home she should call the police.

Being good neighbors, Wyshina went across the street and got another friend to help her go into the house and move the washer and dryer unit in front of the back door so no one else could go in and then proceeded to sit on the front porch and wait until the lady arrived.

Needless to say, Wyshina was frustrated at the lack of response from the police.

Evidently, the teenager knew nothing would happen or he wouldn't have been so casually sitting outside the apartment drinking the evidence!

What do we need to do?! I realize that not everyone is as bold as Wyshina was. Most of the time in our communities people will witness everything that happened and then refuse to tell the police anything for fear of retaliation or rejection in the community. I know that must be frustrating for the police. So many of the negative activities are connected to family members and friends. No one wants to be the one who accuses a family member or friend. But by denying we know anything, we hurt ourselves and keep our communities from being protected. It all becomes a vicious cycle.

We don't trust the police --> The police can't do their job --> Our communities remain unhealthy with negative activity --> The police wrongly accuse people and harass people because of the neighborhood and its assumed activities --> We don't trust the police.

I realize we have a long way to go in cleaning up our communities. I realize that the police probably don't want to waste their time on people who deny they saw anything. But why can't the police value people like Wyshina...a person who takes the risk to boldly point out the person...and at least look into what she witnessed?

Taking time to listen to parents

The following opinion column was brought to my attention recently:
We have to tackle education's urban crisis

Here is my commentary to Ms. Creighton's opinion:
Contrary to Ms. Creighton’s belief, at the Turner Courts housing development in South Dallas, it became clear to me that parents cared about their children as nine out of the twenty-one families (including two fathers) of our After-School Academy filed in for the monthly parent meeting. (One parent who usually attends was at the emergency room with her son; another, who is pregnant, is on doctor-ordered bed rest. Four others had never missed a meeting before this evening and continue to be in constant contact with us as they utilize our computer lab during the day, pick up their children, attend a job skills program we are offering, or simply speak when we see each other in the neighborhood.)

During the meeting, the After-School Academy coordinator Wyshina Harris, a parent and a former resident of Turner Courts, started the meeting off with reminders, then moved on to discuss an experience she had at her daughter’s middle school where her daughter was sent home for wearing brown knee socks and brown plaid shoes with her khaki pants and white shirt uniform. Her 11-year old daughter was accused of dressing like she was “going to the club” by one of her teachers. Wyshina explained that she had used the internet, available at the After-School Academy, to figure out how the official dress code (which does not mention the color of socks or shoes a child must wear) and then register a complaint against the school for being more concerned about her child’s socks and shoes than her education and against the teacher for making an inappropriate comment to her child.

Wyshina went on to explain hers and Sylvia’s frustration with the local elementary school when they tried to visit. She explained that the school has called both of them several times for discipline issues related to their boys, but when they went to visit unexpectedly in hopes of checking in on their children, they were told they needed an appointment. Wyshina used the internet, once again, to go online and fill out a volunteer application. Since the school would not allow her in as a parent, she decided volunteer so that they have to let her in. For the parents who don’t work during the day or work in a flexible job like she does, she encouraged other parents to do the same.

Sylvia shared another experience she has been having, explaining that last year she visited the school to get her son tested so that she could know how to help him. After visiting the school weekly for two months, they finally did test him, diagnosing him with ADHD. She took him to the school health services building to see a counselor two times a week until the summer when the counselor’s schedule did not work with her own. She then found out that the counselor had moved to a different center. She believes she must now go through another referral process to get him back in. However, her frustration also lies in the fact that despite his behavior issues, his teacher assured Sylvia performance was not a concern. However, after receiving his Iowa Test of Basic Skills (ITBS) in October of this year, at which he scored “below average” in every subject, she is now being asked by his current teacher why she didn’t hold him back a year.

These testimonies prompted other similar stories—positive and negative. All nodded when a parent started talking about her fear and concern about living in the “projects.” Parents began describing how they had made the best of the situation by keeping their children indoors until they found ways to get involved in a way that was safe for their family. One lady coaches cheerleading in the community and has a high school son preparing for college. Another parent explained how she wanted the best for her kids as well and asked for information about how to enroll in GED so that she can eventually go into the field of nursing. One parent took Sylvia up on her offer to enroll in a job skills class that will be offered in the community. Resources were offered and connections were made.

The meeting that was scheduled for one hour went 15 minutes over.

What’s the difference between Turner Courts, Flower Mound, and Shelby’s freshman biology class? After talking to a number of parents who live in the inner city (those who attend the meetings and those who don’t), the problem I find is that their voice is often disregarded. When they do make attempts to be involved, they must jump through hoops and often must miss hourly-wage work. Getting their child the help s/he needs is exhausting and, despite their attempts, often futile. A learned helplessness often results.

We need to celebrate the ambition of these parents who continue to do what they can to get their child the help they need, despite the disparaging remarks of people who have never taken the time to get to know the families, their situations, and the obstacles they have to overcome on a daily basis.

Funeral Arrangements for Wyshina Harris

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS
Friday--viewing
From 2:00-10:00 at
Golden Gate Funeral Home
4155 S. R.L. Thornton Frwy (I-35) @ Ann Arbor
Dallas, TX

Saturday--funeral
1:00 at Southern Hills Church of Christ
6969 C F Hawn Freeway
Dallas, TX 75217
Church Office: 214-398-2576

DONATIONS
If you would like to donate money (in lieu of flowers…or in addition to flowers) to secure a fund for her two children, Jordan and Jazmine, please make checks payable to Central Dallas Ministries with "Wyshina Harris" in the memo line.

You can send the checks to Central Dallas Ministries, Attn: Jenny Fogel, P.O. Box 710385, Dallas, TX 75371. Or, if you would rather donate online, go to www.centraldallasministries.org/donate and click on Wyshina Harris in the drop down menu. (Note: if "Wyshina Harris" hasn't been added yet, click on Education and then email me to let me know the amount you donated so that they can make sure your funds are designated correctly).

Life lessons from Wyshina Harris

by: Colleen McCain Nelson

03:05 PM CST on Thursday, November 20, 2008

When I wandered into the after-school academy at Turner Courts last year, I was enveloped by enthusiasm.

There, in some of the sorriest public housing this city had to offer, kids were clamoring for chess lessons. They were creating a blog on the computer, learning photography, reading to one another.

These elementary school students in navy-and-white uniforms were soaking up everything their teachers could tell them about the big world beyond a South Dallas neighborhood where the main road literally is a dead end.

Wyshina Harris, a single mom who spent six years in the Air Force, was making it all happen. As the education outreach manager for the academy, she commanded the room with a quiet presence that demanded respect.

I told Ms. Harris that I'd like to write about the after-school program, this bright spot on Bexar Street. Perhaps the attention would bolster the academy's fundraising efforts, I noted as I surveyed the modest classrooms.

Ms. Harris, who lived for four years at Turner Courts, was friendly but firm.

"This is not some charity," she told me.

Parents and kids alike at Turner Courts are seeking opportunities – not handouts, she added. And a volunteer's gift of time and energy is more valuable than cash.

"Don't come in and give a bike at Christmas and expect these kids' lives to be OK," Ms. Harris said. "Help them with their homework for a year."

I explained those sentiments in an essay about Ms. Harris and her colleague, Sylvia Baylor. Headlined "Lessons in success," the column reflected some of what I'd learned from these two mothers determined to do right by the kids of Turner Courts.

The article was one of the first in this newspaper's continuing series focused on putting neglected southern Dallas neighborhoods on equal footing with the rest of the city. And as I've continued to write about Dallas' north-south disparity, I've carried Ms. Harris' words with me.

While her neighborhood and some of the challenges Ms. Harris faced were much different from what many of us are accustomed to, her priorities – her children, her church, her job – were familiar to folks everywhere. I learned from Ms. Harris that our lives weren't all that different.

Last weekend, I was only half-listening to a 10 p.m. TV news report about a Dallas woman fatally shot in her car. The story had all the makings of the horrific but somewhat distant crime that compels many people to channel-surf right by.

Too often, we do a quick assessment of bad news: Not my neighborhood. Not my friends or family. Not my problem.


But, I learned, this was not just "a Dallas woman" who was murdered. This was Wyshina.

The news report offered the basic who, what, where information: Ms. Harris had been driving to her job as assistant manager of a liquor store. (She had been laid off from the academy in May when Central Dallas Ministries restructured its after-school program.) She had kissed her kids goodbye, hopped in her car and was shot in the neck as she drove down Scyene Road.

But the story couldn't explain how Ms. Harris had coached 6-year-old Raquasha to shake my hand, how she had singled out students and praised their good deeds, how she'd taught me more than I bargained for. Ms. Harris, like many of the people who get only a passing mention in the crime blotter, wasn't just the anonymous victim of an unsolved murder.

Ms. Harris had an unshakable belief that both she and the kids she worked with were going places. "People here are trying to move up, move out," she told me. "We try to teach the kids: This is not it. Turner Courts is not it."

She had moved up and out of Turner Courts – to a home in Pleasant Grove.

Now, 12-year-old Jazmine and 7-year-old Jordan will say goodbye to their mother at tomorrow's funeral. She was 32.

Wyshina Harris' story should not have ended this way. But if there is any solace to be found, it is that those who knew this determined woman will continue to benefit from her lessons in success.

Colleen McCain Nelson is a Dallas Morning News editorial writer. This column represents her personal opinion; her e-mail address is cmccain@dallasnews.com.

Excitement creates energy!

Monday we started our first day of training for the After-School Academy. I am so excited about this year! The possibilities in the room were energizing!

I must admit, after losing Rachel Embry, our Children's Education Coordinator of two years, I was sad and frustrated. I knew we couldn't find another person with her level of skills for the amount of money we were willing to pay. Not only had she taken a pay cut to work at Central Dallas, she had gone above and beyond to build relationships with families in the community. She spent more than her 40 hours/week doing things with and for the After-School Academy. I wasn't sure how we were going to find someone else of her calibur.

After thinking about it for a while, I had an a-ha moment. In the past, I've utilized the teenagers from the community to run the programs. Despite what some people said, I believed they could do it. I trained them in educational strategies and held them to a high standard. I expected more of them than many people expect of adults on the job, but the teenagers rose to the expectations and they did an amazing job.

Because the older kids get out of school later than the elementary kids, we cannot hire teenagers to run the After-School Academy. However, we do have parents...many who aren't working at this moment...many who are not formally educated (yet)...many who are struggling to find ways to make ends meet while also making sure they are there for their kids. I had held high expectations for the teenagers and they achieved. I could do the same with the adults!

Wyshina Harris, our new Children's Education Coordinator, was promoted from the Assistant to the Coordinator a couple of months ago. She has done an amazing job! While she was still in the Assistant position, Wyshina began to realize that working with kids and Education was her calling. She has now decided to go back to school to pursue a degree in Education.

Sylvia Harris is new to our staff and new to the program. She has only been in Turner Courts a few months. She came to the office to enroll her kids in the After-School Academy a few weeks ago. I suggested she apply for the Assistant position. After going through the interview process and deciding that she was the right fit for the job, Debbie Moss, our Human Resources Manager, called to extend her an offer. Debbie said she screamed for a minute straight! She was still excited yesterday when we started training.

The excitement and energy around the table was contagious! I know great things are going to happen this year!

As we went around the table telling a little bit about ourselves, Wyshina and Chanel Williams, our van driver, talked about planning to get enrolled at El Centro (Dallas Community College) in the Spring. Both are thinking about becoming educators. Chanel talked about how being a part of the After-School Academy has connected her to other adults in the community. (I mentioned in my last post how people in Turner Courts isolate themselves mentally and physically. Chanel admits to doing the same.) She credits the After-School Academy with leading her to connect with people she said she wouldn't have otherwise. Tajiman Fields, our cook, claimed that she felt like Mama Fields because of the way kids come to her and treat her like she is their parent.

We have a great team. We are building community in Turner Courts. It may have taken a few years to get started, but I can look back and see that growth was taking place all along. I am so excited to see what is yet to come this year!

Volunteers

I had a realization the other day. Quite often, I express my disdain for volunteers who want to come and "serve" our community. However, after thinking more about that, it dawned on me that I actually really like volunteers. We have some absolutely wonderful volunteers.

What I realized was that the expression of my disdain stems from two things:

1) The majority of volunteers want to "serve" on their terms. They will offer their time after 7:00 p.m. during the weekdays or on Saturdays or Sundays. Some even seem to get upset as if we should be appreciative of the time they offer and change our schedule so that we *can* have their volunteer services. Many volunteers explain exactly what they can and will offer, yet when we tell them what we need (i.e. homework help) they decline because it is not what they wanted to offer us. They come with their own solutions in mind without even asking what the problem is and without assuming that we might already have come up with a solution that we need help implementing.

It's almost like offering to volunteer is a way out. When we refuse what they have to offer, they are off the hook. They can then say they have offered and we won't accept it. It makes them look like the good guys. Volunteers and groups have offered Christmas gifts, winter coats, loads of bicycles, snacks for children, programs, etc.

I have said no to a number of these offers. I have had people leave very upset because we would not accept their "generosity." Our kids and families have too much to offer for them to be someone's "service project." If they were to get to know the people I know, they would realize how much someone has to offer. They would look longer term than a one-time Christmas gift that makes the giver feel more special than the receiver. If they got to know the people I know they would realize they have dreams, goals, and ambitions they are hoping to fulfill. One time neighborhood clean ups don't offer that. Offering one-time parties doesn't create partnerships that help them reach those goals.

One-time events offer off-brand bandaids (the ones that don't stick) to the pain and frustration. It doesn't help a teenager fill out a college application and then walk with them through the process year after year getting paperwork, financial aid, college loans, tutors, etc. It doesn't help a parent get the education needed to obtain a job that is meaningful to them. It doesn't help a child learn basic (and advanced) skills so that when he/she becomes an adult, he/she is academically prepared to enter into any field he/she chooses.

2) When people talk about wanting to get volunteers to help, 99% of the time they are talking about getting people from outside of the community where they serve. They don't even think about the capacity that already exists right inside the community.

Though many of the parents of the kids in our After-School Academy (ASA) are not formally educated, they are willing to learn. Through our staff development meetings, we bring in the highest quality college professors, school principals, etc. in order to help us understand best practices in education.

But even without the educational training the ASA offers, the parents are an invaluable resource. The parents who run our ASA have recruited a full roster of kids #1 because they believe in it and #2 because they are running it. The parents and others in the community bond together in a way that people outside of the community would not be aware of because it happens before or after hours--when outsiders to the community are usually in the comfort of their own homes.

(For a few examples: I learned the other day that Sylvia has started a "walking club" with a few of the parents. I hear her warning them that she is going to call them the next morning to get them up so they can walk. She said they have also attempted a pilates class. Wyshina has two kids of her own and knows her neighbor isn't really motivated to read to her own kids so Wyshina invites the kids to her house and they all get together and read books to each other. Keisha and Wyshina dispelled some community rumors and frustrations of parents who thought it was it was unfair to have to pay for an after-school program. When they explained the many opportunities we offer--like chess, golf, ballet, and other great opportunities--the parents became interested in enrolling their own kids. Chanel invited another parent's child over to play because the parent had expressed frustration with the unsupervised children her son was around. 6th graders who were formerly in the ASA are now classroom assistants and some are even helping teach classes.)

We have a lot of volunteers and partnerships in our ASA. Only a few are from outside of the community. We are selective. We believe our community deserves to have people who are committed, passionate, and willing to get to know us, our needs, and our capacities. We do not need to be someone's one-time service project.

If you are interested in volunteering, we welcome you. But, if you are coming in from outside of the community, please think about what it would feel like if someone you didn't know knocked on your door then, when you answered, proceeded to tell you about some program you needed, without ever attempting to get to know you, your family, your needs, your wants, or your abilities.

If you are willing to get to know us, give me a call.

In the midst of struggle

I don't have answers. I don't have solutions. I don't know if the decisions I make result in positive, negative, or neutral outcomes.

I hope.

I pray.

I struggle with my decisions.

My head hurts....my heart hurts.

What is the best way to deal with a 12-year old (and some accomplices) who stole money out of a locked box at the After-School Academy (ASA) while the room was being used by another resident to throw a party?

All four have each been enrolled in the After-School Academy at various times throughout their life. This isn't the first time they have caused problems. But how can we help make it their last?

The good news is that one of their parents called to tell Wyshina (our ASA manager) what her son had relayed to her. She then called the parent whose son supposedly popped the lock and encouraged her to call Wyshina, which she did. It is nice to have people in the community who trust us enough to tell us what's going on. But what do we do with that information???

Do we report it to the police and press charges?...and then deal with the fact that these parents who were honest enough to call us would then be given a 30-day notice of eviction?

But if we don't report it, how much longer will these 12, 13, and 14-year old kids continue? How far will they go before they end up venturing into the wrong place, committing the wrong crime, and ending up in jail, prison, or possibly dead?? The lump rises in my throat as I write this...because it's reality here.

These types of decisions completely disable me. I sat at my desk with a blank stare. I finally left to go get a cup of coffee just so I could drive in silence and think. I came back with no answers.

God, how long do I have to cry out for help before you listen? How many times do I have to yell, "Help! Murder! Police!" before you come to the rescue? Why do you force me to look at evil, stare trouble in the face day after day?

~Habakkuk (The Message)

My heart was/is still heavy. I want to know the right thing to do.

"I keep to myself"

Stereotypes about "the projects" create a vicious cycle. They are hurtful to the people who live there and create a fear and distrust for those who don't. Not all of those stereotypes are true. I'm not saying "the projects" are a glamourous and safe place to live...much to the contrary. But what I have learned is that despite the stereotypes, there are many good people who live there.

As I have visited with people in Turner Courts through the years, I have met some really neat people. As we talk, they invariably say, "I don't want any trouble so I keep to myself. I stay inside." Some have told me that the moment they were assigned to Turner Courts for housing, they cried for the first week...or sometimes month. They stayed with friends or family to avoid it as long as they could.

Contrary to popular belief, the residents aren't excited and content to live in "the projects." They don't enjoy the fighting, the shooting, or the break-ins. They want their children to be safe and get a quality education. They want to make enough money to move out.

The problem I see is that community has broken down. The fear and distrust (sometimes perpetuated by rumors...media and such...from the outside and sometimes perpetuated by a few troublemakers on the inside) keeps the good people I've met from knowing (and trusting) one another.

My friends/co-workers...the people who run our After-School Academy here in Turner Courts...are working toward changing that through their involvement in the community, their leadership, and their friendship. Each one of them told me the same thing when I interviewed them for their current job, "I don't want any trouble so I keep to myself. I stay inside." Now that they are connected to each other and working toward connecting with the community, they are hearing the same thing from other residents.

As Wyshina and I interviewed for our new cook position, we both chuckled when every single one of them said the same thing, "I'm just a person that doesn't want any trouble so I keep to myself. I stay inside." I was so glad Wyshina was there. She reassured each one of them that she, Chanel, Sylvia, and Ms. Fields lived in Turner Courts and understood their concerns. She told each of them that our current staff had all felt the same way. She encouraged them to join them at the After-School Academy...whether or not they got the job.

Building community takes time. The process is slow. Building trust is not easy. It will happen, though. Their refusal to give up and their desire to make it all work inspires me. I look forward to and thank them for allowing me to be a part of their growing circle of friends.

I can't quit

As I reflect on my friend Wyshina's death, I think about how much less stressful my life would have been had I stayed in Ozark county in rural Missouri. It probably wouldn't have been filled with as much death, tragedy, and worries that my life has now.

When things like this happen, a fleeting thought of quitting enters my mind. I have had people tell me I should move on...that I can do "more good" if I utilize my doctoral degree for something else...like working at a university full time or doing some other, larger job. Others have tried to convince me that I am not doing the good I think I am and could do it more effectively if I did more to fulfill myself. Thank goodness I have learned and continue to realize that the people who make those suggestions have their own issues and insecurities about who they are and what they are or aren't doing.

Wyshina's death makes my head throb as I think of the people I have lost over the last few years--some due to senseless murder, some being caught up in the drug culture, some because of a lack of healthcare...all of them societal issues that can and need to be fixed.

I think about how these deaths have affected me...I think about how many people's stories I carry in my head and how they burden my heart...yet I think about how anyone walking by me would never know about these things. It makes me think about other people around me...people who probably also have many things going on in their life that the average, outside person would never know about them. I know many of these are children...and the children grow into the adults of our society.

However, when I think that it would be easier to go somewhere else to make my own life less complicated, the word SOLIDARITY comes to mind. I think of Paulo Freire, who speaks a lot about solidarity in his book, Pedagogy of the Oppressed. Here is just one quote from this book:

...true solidarity with the oppressed means fighting at their side to transform the objective reality which has made them these “beings for another.” The oppressor is in solidarity with the oppressed only when he stops regarding the oppressed as an abstract category and sees them as persons who have been unjustly dealt with, deprived of their voice, cheated in the sale of their labor — when he stops making pious, sentimental, and individualistic gestures and risks an act of love. ... To affirm that men and women are persons and as persons should be free, and yet to do nothing tangible to make this affirmation a reality, is a farce.

It is not fair or just for me to remain on the outside. I am not any more special than the people I know who directly face these tragedies. To think I am would be arrogant and unwise. It is because of my friendship and my solidarity with those around me that I can not leave. I must endure the hardships with them.

I have found that there is true "family" in that solidarity. (Thank you Sylvia, Larry, Gerald, Marva, Mike, Mr. Wendell, Vicki, Dave, Lagean, Ms. Coleman, and so many others)

To truly be free, we cannot ignore what happens. We cannot remove ourselves.

If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is tied up with mine, then let us work together.-- Lill Watson, aboriginal activist

I now understand that my welfare is only possible if I acknowledge my unity with all the people of the world without exception. ~Leo Tolstoy

I know these are just quotes, but remembering them in times like these gives me hope...provides me with a sense of direction and understanding that is much needed in times like these. I can't quit.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road your trudging seems all-uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup
And he learned too late when the night came down
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit
It's when things seem worse that you musn't quit. -Unknown

Taking a step of faith

We are starting our new year off right in Turner Courts. This morning we had a meeting with the city. Yes, the city. We had a representative from each of the following departments:

• Public Works



• Animal Control



• Dallas Police Department



• Community Prosecutor's office



• DART



• City Planning Commission



• City Parks and Rec



• City Council

...along with a few others.

The show from the city was quite impressive...especially to those of us who have been in Turner Courts for many years and have often dealt with ignored 3-1-1 calls to the city, neglect in repairs, and a feeling of being completely forgotten and left out.

It was also quite impressive because we knew (and warned the city officials) that our first meeting was not going to be big. We had about 9 people attend...some current residents, some former, and some of us who work there but don't live there. Yet, they came anyway.

The meeting was good, but the best part of the whole day for me came when the meeting was over.

Ms. Haynes had come to the meeting...despite her semi-protest a few weeks ago as she explained to us that she didn't want to be involved in anything like that because it makes her blood pressure go up. She explained that she had done her part by reporting things and the city hadn't responded quickly, if at all.

Yet she showed up.

After it was all over, she sat down at the table. After the room had pretty much emptied out, Ms. Haynes (a resident in Turner Courts for many years) turned to Sylvia, Wyshina, I saying, "I really enjoyed that. You guy are really to be commended for bringing this together." I asked her what it was that she enjoyed about it. "I was able to get all of my issues out there."

Ms. Haynes voice was heard.

That's what matters.

We have gotten to know Ms. Haynes over the past few months because she utilizes our computer lab on a regular basis. As I approached her with the thought of working with us to hold the city accountable and helping make our community stronger, Ms. Haynes balked. See...Ms. Haynes has lived in Turner Courts for a long time. During that time she has made calls to the city, made police reports, reported street lights that are out...and got a slow response at the very best. Her doubt and skepticism is understandable. Why should she spend her time spinning her wheels on issues that won't be addressed anyway?

We have a LOT of work to do and a lot of issues to solve. But our biggest job is going to be earning the trust of the community so that they will begin coming out to help us move forward and hold the city accountable. Turner Courts and the people in that community have been left out for too long. Convincing people that their voice matters is going to be a long process.

The smile on Ms. Haynes' face and her very genuine compliments today tell me we may have gained one more core person to our efforts. Knowing that people are being heard, are regaining trust, and are willing to try putting effort into their community again (although cautiously) puts a smile on my face.

Feelings

As I pulled out the equipment for our technology class at the After-School Academy on Monday, seven eager young students (3rd-5th grade) quickly scrambled to get a seat and pull it up to the table. After setting their chairs up, one by one they moved around the table to greet me.

I was filling in for Wyshina and was simply following up on her curriculum. She had asked them, "What feelings do you have when you think of Turner Courts?" I reiterated the question to them and asked them to each give me their three words.

Dangerous.

Happy.

Sad.

Afraid.

Embarrassed.

Disappointed.

Powerful words...even more powerful to think about why they said them...and so quickly...without hesitation.

What would cause a child to feel "disappointed" or "embarrassed" to live somewhere? ...But at the same time feel "happy?" If I were the parent, how would I feel knowing that my child felt "afraid" or sad" to live where s/he does?

Below are a few of the pictures the kids took. Look really closely at the doors with signs. Behind the No Trespassing sign you can very faintly notice a baby's face behind the sign.

If I were to teach the class again, I would do it a little different. I would do more to explore their feelings and talk about *why* they have those feelings and what those feelings look like. I would show them some pictures other people have taken and asked them to tell me the feelings they associate with those pictures.

Should we speak out?

I had a meeting this week that I wasn't too thrilled about. A man wanted to meet with me to present some Bible curriculum they had written.

I know. You would think I would be thrilled. After all, I work for a ministry, right?

I wasn't.

It wasn't so much about someone calling to ask me to present a Bible curriculum. It was the conversation around it. "We have a curriculum that works well for inner-city children. It's not written like curriculum for other children. There are more activities so that inner city children will understand. The curriculum is written for 'unchurched' children."

I could feel my blood start to boil.

It always bothers me when people outside of our urban communities make assumptions and generalizations about what our kids are capable of and what will work for them when they've never even been to our community. It bothers me that people feel that curriculum needs to be "dumbed down" so that our urban children will understand.

I went ahead and scheduled the meeting and took Wyshina and Keilani so that they could maybe provide a more rational opinion than what I was able to give at that point.

Once I got there, looked at the curriculum, and listened to a different man present the curriculum, I began to form a different opinion. It looked well-written (more than I can say for most other Sunday School curriculums I've seen). It seemed to be an engaging curriculum that seemed to tap into multiple styles of learning, which I like. The man who presented the curriculum didn't talk about simplifying it for inner city children or anything like that...

...until the end.

"It's written for 'unchurched' children," he explained.

My temperature started rising again.

He went on to further clarify, "It doesn't assume anything about anyone's knowledge or Biblical background."

I know there are times I should probably keep my mouth shut. But there are other times I think too many people keep their mouth shut when they should speak up. This was a time I felt the need to speak up. So I did.

I explained that a curriculum that doesn't make assumptions about where someone is in their knowledge of the Bible is fine. A curriculum that has more activities and hits more multiple intelligences to engage children is fine. However, saying that it's written for "unchurched" kids who probably wouldn't understand "other" curriculum and taking it to the inner city is making a big assumption about kids in the inner city! I explained to the two men that our kids aren't "unchurched." I'd say at least 95% of our kids, or better, are children who go to church, have gone, and/or know their Bible.

I went on to explain that our After-School Academy offers programs like ballet, chess, science, digital photography, etc., because our kids are perfectly capable of doing things just like "other" kids, given the opportunity. We don't have to change the curriculum for them. We just have to offer it, expose them to it, and teach it. If we do our job of teaching it well, they catch on to it just fine.

Years of watching volunteers come in for a day or a week to "evangelize" or "educate" or "do good" without even getting to know anything about the community except what they have seen on the news or read in the paper...and then never coming back after they've "evangelized" our neighborhood really bothers me. Using our urban neighborhoods and the people in them as "service projects" makes my temperature rise.

I have to give him credit. Whether or not he noticed my irritation, at the end of our meeting the man thanked me for making the comments. He was kind about it and seemed open to the critique. I'm not sure how he will proceed, but I do know he listened and heard what we were saying.

I am working on maintaining my cool in these situations so that I can explain how demeaning their words are in a way that they hear without tuning out. As I work on myself and my own approach, I have realized a couple of things. 1) Most times the people who are making the comments have never even thought about how those words would sound if they were the ones living in the inner city and someone was talking about them. 2) People who make those comments are often people who do not look like people in the neighborhood and they are often selling their idea to other people who look like them. Their "pitch" changes when they have to sell their idea directly to someone in the neighborhood. 3) Comments that assume something about people and/or a community perpetuate to others a stereotype that doesn't come from first-hand knowledge of the community. 4) The only way people from outside of the neighborhood are going to learn the impact of their comments is if someone points out the offensiveness of their comments. People don't have a reason to change until someone challenges their assumptions and stereotypes.

Besides, staying silent tells them we agree. Our silence says their assumptions must be right.

Rochester Park Crime Watch

Back in the 1940s and 50s, White Dallas residents and politicians purchased land and created laws that relegated Black Dallas residents to Rochester Park. Unknowingly to the Black residents at the time, Rochester Park was a flood plain, as were many other parts of Dallas. The Dallas politicians purchased land (some of which is now the downtown area), created laws that provided them economic benefit, and redeveloped their land, causing even more flood waters to be channeled to the Rochester Park area. (for more information, see Jim Schutze, The Accomodation.)

(fyi...This area is also known as Bon Ton, though in this blog, I most often refer to the housing development in Rochester Park called Turner Courts.)

Six months ago we started our very first Town Hall meeting in Turner Courts. Deputy Mayor Pro Tem, Dwaine Caraway, came with many different city staff and committed to us that he would not allow Rochester Park to be neglected anymore. For the next six months, he agreed to attend our meetings. With the exception of one meeting, he has been there and fulfilled his promise...and even when he's not there, he makes sure city staff people are. His assistant, Stephanie Pegues, has helped us tremendously and has always arranged for whatever city staff we asked for to attend the meeting. Mike Davis, has been an amazing advocate with us and for us--often, I'm sure, when we don't even know it.

We worked toward making changes by stopping the sale of single cigarettes, building friendships, and getting DART buses reinstated to run through the neighborhood. As a result of Wyshina's suggestion when we began the meetings, 15 of us in the neighborhood are now deputized to register people to vote.

Six months after we started, we are now taking the next step.

Though we started within our sphere of influence within Turner Courts, our efforts have now spread to the greater Rochester Park neighborhood. Last night, 13 of those residents came together to begin the process of creating an official Neighborhood Association/Crime Watch group. Sergeant Shelia Zimmerman came to present and brought two other police officers with her (it was truly encouraging to me to see the police cars parked outside and the two officers and one sergeant inside, knowing they were there to work with us!).

After presenting the information and helping residents understand the difference between a Neighborhood Association and a Crimewatch and the requirements of each, residents decided that they would become the Rochester Park Crime Watch.

I credit Sylvia Baylor for working hard to challenge people to come out. Because she no longer lives in Turner Courts, she is not eligible to be an officer. However, Sylvia remains a source of encouragement. She continues to work hard and remains dedicated to helping her friends and neighbors to keep the process moving. Below is Sylvia's email reminder to everyone about their upcoming meetings:

Mark your calendar!!! We will be having our next Roundtable Meeting to elect officers for The Rochester Park Crime Watch. It will be on July 7, 2008, from 6:00pm-7:30pm. The location for the meeting will be held at the After school Academy in Turner Courts, 6601 Bexar St. Dallas Tx, 75215. If you are interested in holding one of the offices you need to be present for this meeting. If you don't want to hold an office, we still want you to come.

Another note to mark on the calendar is July 12,2008, which is the Town Hall Meeting. It will be held at The Lord's Missionary Baptist Church at 6722 Bexar St, Dallas, Tx 75215, from 10am-11:30am. We will be talking about the Rochester Park Crime watch and any other issues that need to be addressed. Encourage some one to bring some one. As many of us know it is greatly need in our community.

Please email me or call and let me know if you are coming.

The growing response we are seeing reinforces my belief that people care about their neighborhood. Unfortunately, so much intentional neglect has soured them on the process. It takes time to move past the distrust and cynicism, but it is happening in Rochester Park.

Community conversations

As I dropped Checo off at his house yesterday, he commented, "Janet, we have the best conversations!" I had to smile. All the way to his house we had discussed the reasons behind recycling, how it affects the environment, and why more people don't recycle.

Checo is not unusual in his interest in issue-driven conversations. Johnas, a 20-year old, began a conversation with me about the NPR commentary that I was listening to in the car one day. Teenagers used to come to my home to watch documentaries from the civil rights era and would discuss and relate it to their lives today. Monique, a 22-year old, and I always have deep conversations about race and community issues.

I find that many people in our urban communities, teens and adults alike, become passionate when engaging about issues. I wonder if people and programs who come into the community to evangelize, provide parenting classes, do community clean ups, etc., did more to engage people about the issues, maybe people wouldn't have to be bribed with food and prizes to come to the meetings. Maybe people in the community would feel like partners instead of passive recipients and would begin initiating their own programs and projects based around their own needs using the assets they have within the community.

Last week, during our staff development meeting for the After-School Academy, we had a session where the group made observations and discussed what they would want for their ideal community. I found the discussion very insightful. Despite the negatives, there is a sense of community.

Wyshina: I moved from down here two weeks ago. And just not being able to walk out my door, walk over to Sylvia’s house, and ask her what she’s cooking today, see Lori walking to the store and say, “Hey, what’cha’all got going on?” I just miss the community. Not the negative things. Of course not the negative things. But I miss being in the community. I mean, I still work here and I’ll still be able to see the people because I know the parents who are still going to have their kids in the program but then I don’t get to see this girl who lives on the corner, “Hey! You still working at the After-School Program?” I won’t be able to see her. I miss that conversation.

Carla: I think it also shows that people who may live in poverty don’t have poverty lives.

Keilani: Even though it’s a lot of negative stuff going around…I think the friendships you have here and the bonding here outweigh the negative. I think that’s what we put in our drawings. That’s why Sylvia put the bar-b-que grill. You know, put some meat on the grill and have some neighbors come over and talk.

As the staff discussed and drew what they wanted in their community, they came up with things that are very basic, yet many of which don't exist in our urban communities:

What do we want for our community?

• Library

• Park

• Community Center

• School

• Crosswalk

• Police Department

• Access Gate

• Assigned Parking

• Greenery

• Houses

• Kids are outside

• Community gatherings

• Manicured lawns

• Security patrols

We want UNITY...SAFETY...CLEAN AREAS...GREENERY...TREES

Is that too much to ask?

Help for friends

I was still at the office when Wyshina called me.

"Janet! Kisha just called and someone broke into their apartment, stole their stuff...and then set fire to the apartment! I think they lost everything."

Since I was getting ready to leave the office, I went by their apartment. It was dark outside and the electricity was off because of the fire. I found Kisha sitting in the car with the Red Cross man. I took her kindergarten daughter out of her arms. As I picked her up and transferred her onto my chest, I realized Akia was sobbing. She continued to cry. Through sobs, she began telling me, "They even burned my bed!" and went on to express her concerns about her doll and her brother's video games.

Kisha hasn't lived in this apartment long. She just recently moved out of Turner Courts. It was a beautiful apartment. Unfortunately, Kisha had moved into the apartment of a lady who had been evicted. For the last week or so some guy has been banging on their door late at night/early in the morning asking for her. Kisha has tried to tell him that the lady (his ex-girlfriend) no longer lives there. Maybe he thinks she's hiding the lady or lying to him. Kisha suspects he was the one who did set fire to their apartment.

Kisha's has two kids--Curtis is a very talented, articulate 6th grader who has been a part of our After-School Academy for the last 3-4 years. Akia is cute kindergartener with a bright smile and an eager handshake and greeting every time you walk into the After-School Academy.

I don't know what the person who lived in the apartment before Kisha did that made that man so angry, but I know what he did changed the lives of three people. They have lost absolutely everything.

If you would like to help out, click here to donate and I will make sure that any money you contribute gets directly to them.