Too Blessed to be Stressed

One of my Christmas presents was a journal with the heading, "Too Blessed to be Stressed." Just looking at the journal makes me happy.

Isn't it the truth?? Aren't we all "too blessed to be stressed?"

Today I took Tiffany to meet up with her friend so she could catch a ride back to Baylor. When we got there, her friend, Autumn, asked if we were hungry and would like something to eat. Since neither one of us had eaten and we knew Autumn's grandmother had cooked, we eagerly accepted.

As we went into the house, I realized that we were walking into Big Mama's Sunday dinner. The entire extended family was sitting around the dinner table eating their weekly meal. I had a brief second of, "Oops, we're interrupting."

Fortunately, that brief second was swept away as Autumn's mom and "Big Mama" quickly pulled seats to the table, set a place for us, and told us to help ourselves to the pork loin, meat loaf, cabbage, black-eyed peas, neck bone, salad, stir fry veggies, and corn bread set out on the table.

I felt completely at home as they opened their doors to us and immediately continued their conversation, which now included two more people. Big Mama's house reminded me of going to my own Grammy's house on Sunday afternoons when I was a little kid--everything was home made, including her amazing loafs of bread, served complete with her home made strawberry jam. Mmmmmm.....mmmmmm.

It was a wonderful afternoon. An hour and a half after we had gotten there, Tiffany and Autumn packed up, Ken told me I was now family, and Inez and I exchanged phone numbers so that I could join them for Sunday dinner again.

Days like today I realize I am really blessed. I have friends, family, and pseudo-family. The people I am blessed to have around me are genuinely good people. And God continues to bless me with new...and neat...people in my life.

So, the fact that I don't have my syllabus written for the graduate class I start teaching next week, the 394 emails I have in my inbox because I went on vacation for a week (let's hope the majority of those are spam!), and the seemingly endless pile of work I have to do shouldn't stress me out because
I'm too blessed to be stressed!

Opportunities and Struggles

I absolutely love to travel! I just got back from a Caribbean Cruise and loved every relaxing minute of it. (Thank you, mom and dad!) But I have to say, these days I have to think a lot more about my luxuries.

When I told my friends I was going on a cruise, they were extremely encouraging. They told me I deserved a relaxing vacation. Their graciousness and generosity always amazes me. Many of the friends who told me I deserved to go know that an extravagant vacation like that is out of reach for them monetarily. I’m sure they realize that their work is just as physically and/or emotionally as taxing as mine, yet they were genuinely excited for me.

What makes my hard work more deserving of a break than their hard work?

I would like to think that the choices I have made in life have gotten me to where I am today. I would like to think I’m deserving of the “extras” I get in life. However, I have learned that my most of my choices are a result of circumstances I didn’t control.

I didn’t choose the neighborhood I grew up in, my skin color, or my parents. I had a two-parent home with a mom who could afford to stay-at-home. I had a family that did well financially; my parents didn’t need me to work in order to help contribute to household expenses. I had parents who understood the value of a college education and could afford to send me. I had parents who set high expectations for me, which led to me having high expectations of myself. Fortunately for me, the bad choices I did make simply didn’t end up with long-term life-altering results.

I appreciate the kindness of my friends who celebrate my good fortune with me. They are much bigger people than I am. I’m afraid I would be resentful.

I have been blessed with great opportunities in my life. I struggle with how to take advantage of my opportunities while working to ensure that all people have these same opportunities. Is it possible to do both?

Great things in my world

The other night I had dinner with a friend. She asked me "What 3 great things have happened in your world since we last talked?"

I could not come up with three neatly packaged events that have happened over the last year or so. Instead, I had to reflect over the last several years. There are great things that have happened to me, but almost all of the amazing things are not one-time occurences, but watching things progress over time. Let me give you some examples:

Don went through a stage in his early teens where he was selling drugs to earn some extra cash. He struggled through school, barely getting his high school diploma. He hung around with older guys and had childhood friends who were not positive influences. After finishing one year of college, he decided to work instead. Although I wanted him to go further, he began a job and has now been at that same job for 3 years.

Kieva is someone I have always known would do ok...but I'm ashamed to say I never expected out of her what I see now. She will be a senior in college in the fall. She will graduate next year with a Political Science degree and wants to work for the FBI. She will be great at it!

Tiffany is an amazing young lady who has been driven and determined to achieve since she was a young girl. She will be a junior in college in the fall. She is majoring in Psychology, but also plans to get a teaching certificate. She has amazing abilities to connect with people and utilize her resources. I love being able to watch her as she grows and matures every year.

Whitney just graduated from high school. She was quite an outspoken child...could I be as bold to say oftentimes disrespectful?? However, as she has grown up she still speaks her mind, but in a way that is appropriate and articulate. She is learning to express her opinion in a way that people will listen.

Those are just a few of the people who have been blessings to me. I'm grateful to have been around long enough to witness their progress. What have been your blessings over the past year?

My friend, Lagean

My friend, Lagean, had asked me to be a part of a new initiative she is starting at our church. I had pulled back from my involvement in church activities over the last couple of years. I was pretty burned out. For a long time, I worked with the kids and I felt like I was by myself in the effort (much of that may have been my own fault). As I mentioned in an earlier blog, our church struggled for a while. Our membership numbers dwindled. But Lagean hung on. She believed in our small church. She believed in what it offered people. She never quit.

Lagean hasn't always been where she is now in her spiritual journey. She will tell you that she has made some mistakes. Yet as our church struggled, Lagean stayed dedicated. She recruited people. She grew herself spiritually and she grew our church. And now she wants to get someething started for our teenagers.

When she asked me, my inside reaction was, "Ugh!" I told her that I would help, but I also told her the only reason I agreed to do it was because of her. Her perserverance, dedication, and friendship inspires me and makes it very difficult to say no.

I ended up having a work-related meeting scheduled at the same time. I thought I had conveniently gotten out of my responsibilities with Lagean. Then my meeting was cancelled. I couldn't lie to Lagean so I called her and told her I would be there. Her excitement and joy, simply because I was going to be present, made me feel special. But, then again, Lagean always makes me feel loved, appreciated, and needed.

Although the meeting started 30 minutes late (that usually bothers me), I enjoyed being in the company of some women leaders whom Lagean had chosen. She had taken the time to include a variety of ages, ethnicities, stages in life, stages in Christianity--and had already decided before we arrived what our roles would be according to our skills and talents. Lagean organized our initial meeting but, moving forward, she asked us all to make the decisions together.

Although I've worked in a leadership capacity and worked with kids and teens for the last 11 years, I could've never pulled that meeting together like Lagean did. I guess a lot of it is her dedication to people that makes us all willing to come out and help. It's her ability to see our assets and what each of us has to offer, instead of focusing on our deficits and what each of us still needs to work on--emotionally, spiritually, etc. Her approach seems the perfect way to build a church--draw on people's strengths and, in the meantime, help them develop beyond their weaknesses.

Since this is our first meeting, I'm not sure how the teen meetings will turn out. But from the meeting yesterday, I have a feeling that the teenagers might not be the only ones growing and learning from this ordeal. I have a feeling that in the process Lagean might be unknowingly (or maybe she has this already planned! :) ) building a strong women's group as well.

I truly am blessed to have a friend like Lagean.