Creating connections...role reversal

To give our college students extra moral support, I used to go visit each of them at their respective colleges each year.

Unfortunately, my workload has increased at the same rate as the number of college students, it seems. So, it's been harder to take the time to visit.

Last week, I was supposed to meet with a recruiter from Texas A & M-Commerce. I seized the opportunity to meet with him in Commerce so I could go visit some of the students.

I forwarded the email, letting them know I'd be in town and inviting them to lunch. I immediately got a response from Lewanna. "You know Luis?! What are you guys meeting about??" Turns out, Lewanna (junior, Education major) and Bridgette (graduate school, Higher Ed Administration major) both work with Luis!

After a text conversation with Luis during lunch, Bridgette and Lewanna took me on a golf cart tour of the new buildings on campus (Kristina, freshman music major, had to leave).

When I meet people at the university or in a college program, I try to introduce students to them. I want them to know people and have the same connections I do. This time, however, it was my turn to let them connect me. As we talked at lunch and as I stood with Bridgette and Lewanna when I met Luis, it was obvious how well-respected they were within the administration department.

I'm a networker. I love making connections. This time, the roles were reversed. Bridgette and Lewanna connected me instead of the other way around. I realized that my credibility probably rose with Dean Holley and Luis when they found out I knew two of their best student workers.

Thanks, Bridgette and Lewanna!

Connecting with old friends

I feel the need to post, but I'm not quite sure how to summarize what I'm feeling right now.

I wasn't looking too forward to this weekend because it was going to be busy. Event after event, graduation after graduation. I am always tired after weekends like these...especially knowing I have to work on Monday.

But, this weekend has been different.

After our Art Show Friday night...


I raced to Gustavo's graduation...then enjoyed a late night meal at IHop with his family, which provided a great time to catch up since they had moved out of the neighborhood a few years ago.

I got up early in order to attend Katrina's graduation at 8:30 a.m....
went to a meeting...went to work out...then joined their family for an afternoon bar-b-que, which was another great opportunity to reminisce about old times, talk about the girls' college plans, and just hang out.
I left there to meet Tiffany (a "kid" who is now a near-graduating college student...a young adult), who had agreed to save me some time by picking up some of the kids. After dropping them off at the house, she went to pick up her nephew and cousins so that we could all go to the 22nd Annual Invitational Black Rodeo together...
which gave the younger ones the opportunity to see horses, cows, and cowboys up close for the first time. The three youngest kids we took were all children of kids I used to have in our different programs. I laughed as 6-yr old Anasia was quick to tell me how she should act around me and wondered if, though I haven't spent much time with her, if her mom and dad had relayed that message to her.

And that was just Friday and Saturday!

Sunday, Nathan and Vanessa came to the house so that Vanessa could use the computer and the internet to make her Power Point presentation for her class. Since the computer was already taken, Nathan agreed to make monster cookies, which we did together--learning how to pack brown sugar, level off baking soda, and use the mixer in a way that didn't splatter cookie dough all over the kitchen.

Then, though most of today has been restful, I went to visit Tracey to make sure he got all of his paperwork filled out for the Sight and Sound technology program that he will be enrolled in this summer. In the process of getting he and his mom to sign papers, Tavies and I were able to reconnect and catch up. It's always nice working with parents who encourage me to get their kids involved in anything possible...and trust that whatever I send their way will be beneficial to their future.

Though most weekends I enjoy having time to myself, weekends like these help me to realize the friends and the blessings I have in my life. I realize how much my friends mean to me...and how much I mean to them. It's nice to connect with people.

The need for community

Walking out of the taqueria, a man hollered from across the parking lot.

"Eh!"

When I didn't turn around, he hollered again.

"Eh! Habla espanol?"

"Solamente pocito," I explained.

He launched into a long explanation (all in Spanish) that I only partially understood. However, it was clear that he was asking for money.

Every time someone asks me for money, I struggle.

Part of me wants to hand over money, part of me thinks it best (or should I say easiest) to defer to our food pantry, part of me is offended that someone would think that they can not work and then ask me for my hard earned money.

But the nagging feeling when I leave, whether I've given money or not, is the fact that I truly don't know what that person is going through.

Is he a drug user? ...How is he ever going to get help with his addiction?

Is he undocumented? ...How do you find work when you're undocumented?

Did he have a felony? ...Has he lost all hope because of the difficulty of getting a job after being released from prison?

Is he really trying to find a job and can't, but has a family to feed?

I have no desire to enable anyone. But I want to help if the need is legitimate.

As I walked away from the man, I couldn't help but wonder who his "community" is. Does he belong to a church? Who does he know in his neighborhood? Is he connected with other friends and family? If he's not working, does he volunteer anywhere? Who does he talk to? What resources does he have to help him work toward improving his life?

Where do our community systems break down?

In many urban communities I know, the goal often becomes safety and self-preservation...and thus isolation. After all, rumor has it that inner city communities are "bad." So, they (just like the rest of us) buy into the rumors and believe that everyone around them falls into the "bad" category. So...in order to stay away from "riff-raff" they stay inside and rarely talk to their neighbors.

The reality is that there are other good people in the neighborhood who want good things for themselves, their community, and their children as well. The only opportunity for relief in urban communities, we have been convinced, is for people from outside of the community to go in and teach, help, etc.

I can't help but think a more effective approach for people wanting to "help" would be to focus on assisting in organizing communities--connecting with people in the communities...and then helping them connect to each other. Connected people...organized people...are relational, help each other, hold each other accountable, and challenge the systems that oppress them.

People in the community have a better idea what is wanted and needed in their community. Are we listening to the community?

..............................................................................................

As I walked away, I saw the man approach the next person. Though I could make assumptions about who he is and his ambition, work ethic or lack thereof, I continue to wonder...

Do people in the community truly want hand-outs...or is that the only way they feel they are able to meet their needs?