Amazing Graduate Award of 2009

This is to celebrate the determination of an amazing graduate who uses education as a stepping stone in life.



Jessica Orogbu
I’ve now known Jessica for eight years or more. I met her when she was first in foster care and then was adopted by her foster mom. While in foster care and as an adopted daughter, I watched Jessica work hard! She became the overseer of her adopted brothers and sister, who were also in the same foster home as she was and were adopted at the same time as she was. As the oldest, she was expected to get up at 4:00 a.m. to ensure they were all dressed and taken care of before they all went to school. In the evenings, Jessica often cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen before getting time to do her own homework and prepare for school the next morning. Yet, through all of that, I never once saw Jessica have a bad day or be in a bad mood. Her positive attitude was absolutely amazing and admirable.

As a senior in high school, Jessica began applying for college. She would call me to seek help in the process. She was the first in her family to go to college and wasn’t sure of how to make it happen. But, unlike other teenagers who would call me, Jessica would simply ask, “What do I do next?” and would proceed to make the phone calls, fill out the applications, and complete the entire process on her own.

It was through her phone calls that Jessica found out that being in foster care for so long actually had a benefit. The foster care system would pay for her schooling. Since her biological mother and her adopted mother were both unable to help financially, this became very crucial knowledge for her. In her research, she also found out that the foster care system would continue to pay for her schooling all the way through her doctorate if she went straight through. From that moment, Jessica determined that she would get her doctorate.

In college, Jessica worked a part-time job at the Boys and Girls Club, while also being a nanny for a family, while also taking 18 hours in school. The engine of the car she bought to get her to and from work burned out. She didn’t know what to do…but she managed to work things out. Her adopted mom died of cancer. During the same semester, she turned 22, which meant she was unable to access Medicaid anymore. It was then that her mouth started hurting with excrutiating pain. She could not find a reasonably priced dentist in Commerce and had to come to Dallas. She found out she needed all kinds of procedures, none of which she could afford. She managed to take care of one or two, but still needed a root canal. One of her professors told her she would have to drop the class if she missed one more day of class (because she had already missed for her mom’s funeral). Instead, she managed to get some antibiotics to clear up the infection and she persevered. I still don’t believe she’s been able to take care of the root canal to this day because of her hectic work schedule of two jobs and 18 hours of coursework.

This year, Jessica completed her bachelor’s degree in Education. Through her college career, she struggled over and over again with her math classes. But, she never once looked back. Jessica had set her goal to become a teacher and there was not a single obstacle that could stop her. She is now engaged to Reggie and will be married in July 2010. Here amazing qualities have secured her a job as a permanent sub in Greenville for the spring semester, a truly coveted position in this day and age where jobs are hard to come by. She will begin her master’s program at Texas A & M-Commerce’s branch in Mesquite as soon as the spring semester starts up. She will commute back and forth from Greenville now and is hoping to find a teaching job in Dallas in the fall.

Where should I enroll my child?

An article in the New York Times finds that the gap between urban and suburban graduations rates is astounding.

"...the average high school graduation rate in the nation’s 50 largest cities was 53 percent, compared with 71 percent in the suburbs."

So, if you had a choice, where would you want your child?

Problem is, most low-income parents don't have that choice.

Housing developments and low-income housing are usually concentrated in the city. Even if they weren't, it's often harder for families to choose to move to suburban areas due to their lack of transportation.

I hear a lot of judgment in our urban communities by people outside of the communities about what parents should/shouldn't be doing. But let me challenge that thinking.


If a parent has gone through an urban school, they are likely one of the statistics cited above. If they are one of the statistics that came out of the failed urban school systems, they likely don't have a level of education that allows them to move into high level jobs that would pay better, create benefits that would allow them to take paid vacation days to see to the needs of their child, and provide healthcare for them and their children that would create a healthier home.

A lower level of education also probably means that they may not be able to help their children with their academic needs...and are often embarrassed to admit this to their children, the school, or other people who may be able to help.

Going on these statistics, an average of 47% *did* graduate. Graduating doesn't always mean academically prepared. I know many people who have graduated from urban schools, yet still can't read or write. I can think of at least four right now. So, although there may be a 47% graduation rate, even less may be prepared to be successful in the workplace.

The majority of parents I've met are trying.

Unfortunately, they are stuck in a system that isn't providing them or their children a way out.

We can blame the parents for their parenting skills, their inability to help their children, their unwillingness to attend our meetings. But blame gets us nowhere. What are we doing to help the children? What are we doing to help ensure the next generation is able to be different?

"Blaming others conveniently lets us off the hook." ~Jawanza Kunjufu

Would you like some knowledge with that diploma?

A friend was telling me about a professor at a top-notch college who gives every one of his students an "A".

I cringed.

Another professor letting students slide. Ugh.

But then she went on to explain. He gives everyone an "A" in his class, but they have to keep re-doing every assignment until it is "A" quality. They don't have to take the "A". They can settle for a "B" or "C" or any other grade. But every one of them has an opportunity to receive an "A" in his class, if they so desire.

It makes for a lot of work on the teacher...but just think if every one of our kids were given that same opportunity. Instead of testing a kid at the end of the year and then holding him back for failing the TAKS (state standardized tests), the child would, instead, be given the opportunity on EVERY assignment throughout the year to correct their paper until they achieved "A" level work...correction after correction after correction.

It's not a cop-out; it's a lot of work. In a scenario like that, the kids (and the teacher) have to work very hard to ensure that every child knows what they're doing. It also makes it easier (for the teacher and the child) later in the year because after re-doing it so many times they can gain an understanding of that single skill they're missing. Once the kids master their skill and realize they can't just "get by," their resulting assignments will be better...which won't take as much time to grade. So the work load is definitely heavy for both teacher and child, but when perfection is the end result, it bumps the standards up and makes it easier in the long run...for both student and teacher.

If everyone participated in that philosophy, I have a feeling there would be a lot fewer students graduating from high school taking remediation classes in colleges and a lot more adults prepared for a competitive workplace. It could benefit employers tremendously.

Maybe then a diploma might mean more than it does today. Report cards might mean something. It might change the way we look at education.

We might be able to guarantee the value of a high school diploma. Unfortunately, right now that's often not the case.

Connecting with old friends

I feel the need to post, but I'm not quite sure how to summarize what I'm feeling right now.

I wasn't looking too forward to this weekend because it was going to be busy. Event after event, graduation after graduation. I am always tired after weekends like these...especially knowing I have to work on Monday.

But, this weekend has been different.

After our Art Show Friday night...


I raced to Gustavo's graduation...then enjoyed a late night meal at IHop with his family, which provided a great time to catch up since they had moved out of the neighborhood a few years ago.

I got up early in order to attend Katrina's graduation at 8:30 a.m....
went to a meeting...went to work out...then joined their family for an afternoon bar-b-que, which was another great opportunity to reminisce about old times, talk about the girls' college plans, and just hang out.
I left there to meet Tiffany (a "kid" who is now a near-graduating college student...a young adult), who had agreed to save me some time by picking up some of the kids. After dropping them off at the house, she went to pick up her nephew and cousins so that we could all go to the 22nd Annual Invitational Black Rodeo together...
which gave the younger ones the opportunity to see horses, cows, and cowboys up close for the first time. The three youngest kids we took were all children of kids I used to have in our different programs. I laughed as 6-yr old Anasia was quick to tell me how she should act around me and wondered if, though I haven't spent much time with her, if her mom and dad had relayed that message to her.

And that was just Friday and Saturday!

Sunday, Nathan and Vanessa came to the house so that Vanessa could use the computer and the internet to make her Power Point presentation for her class. Since the computer was already taken, Nathan agreed to make monster cookies, which we did together--learning how to pack brown sugar, level off baking soda, and use the mixer in a way that didn't splatter cookie dough all over the kitchen.

Then, though most of today has been restful, I went to visit Tracey to make sure he got all of his paperwork filled out for the Sight and Sound technology program that he will be enrolled in this summer. In the process of getting he and his mom to sign papers, Tavies and I were able to reconnect and catch up. It's always nice working with parents who encourage me to get their kids involved in anything possible...and trust that whatever I send their way will be beneficial to their future.

Though most weekends I enjoy having time to myself, weekends like these help me to realize the friends and the blessings I have in my life. I realize how much my friends mean to me...and how much I mean to them. It's nice to connect with people.

Graduation Party

We had our annual graduation party last night at my house. I love the event. It's a reason to get everyone together and everyone gets to acknowledge, celebrate, and offer words of wisdom to the graduates as they enter a new stage of life. As I looked at each of them, I saw a kid who I had helped coach baseball when he was in 5th grade. I saw a beautiful, mature young lady that I've watched grow and mature since she was 4 years old! I saw a guy that everyone absolutely adores now...never even guessing that just about 6 or 7 years ago he was trying to hang with the wrong crowd and terrorize neighborhoods.

My mind was filled with stories of each one of them. They have each grown and matured and are moving to their next stage in life. They have guides surrounding them. Everyone at the party was there to celebrate them. Words of wisdom were offered. Some of the graduates from last year and the year before that were there to offer some advice. These guys are surrounded with a network of support. I know they will do well.

Oscar--graduated from Woodrow Wilson. Is going to University of Texas.







Whitney--graduated from Skyline. Is planning to be a nurse, starting at El Centro.







Nick--graduated from W.T. Whyte. Is going to Brookhaven.












Albert--graduated from Lincoln. Is working on getting into UT Dallas and is planning to be an engineer.






Adrian--graduated from Pegasus. Is planning to be an engineer. Will probably start community college in the fall.






Danielle--graduated from Woodrow Wilson. Is going to a school in Kansas on a basketball scholarship.











Ronyell--graduated from Hillcrest. Is still deciding what she wants to be, but will attend Eastfield or Richland in the fall.






Britney--graduated from Kimball. Will start community college in the fall.

Frustration

We are failing our children.

1, 125 seniors in DISD will not graduate this year because they did not pass the TAKS test, even though many (maybe even most) of them met and passed the required courses set up by the school.

I know at least one of those 1,125. He had already sent out his graduation announcements and senior pictures and then was told he didn't pass the test. He is going to press on and work toward taking his last chance test again this summer. I'm proud of him for continuing. He could have easily decided to give up.

I am not arguing that students should graduate "just because." I have never been in favor of low-expectations for students. What I am arguing and advocating for is that our students are prepared BEFORE they get to their senior year!

I know, I know...I have teacher friends who will tell me that I can't put it all on the teachers. Parents have to be involved, too. Parents have to do some of the work at home--of encouraging children, of helping them with their homework, of visiting the school, etc. Though I whole-heartedly agree with that, I think we've got to face the reality that we're dealing with-especially in our inner-city schools.

Some of the parents I know don't have the skill levels themselves to help their kids with their homework. Some of the parents are absent or on drugs and the kids are raising themselves. Some of the parents go to the school when the school calls (unfortunately, the school usually only calls when their child is in trouble).

I haven't met a parent yet who doesn't want their child to be successful. Even drug addicted parents express a desire to see their kids succeed despite their own failures.

I wonder what would happen if the parents and the schools, maybe even the district, actually got together and communicated. What if schools and/or districts asked the parents what they needed and expected and then what if the school really listened to the parents? I have a feeling parents might have a whole lot to say. If they felt comfortable and if they felt like their statements were truly valued, I would guess that parents might be able to tell the schools some of the obstacles they and their children face on a daily basis:

• Transportation--buying groceries, taking kids to and from appointments
  during the school day, getting to school functions, visiting the school...all with public transportation (very time consuming!)
  
  
• Trying to work and be at home with a sick kid at the same time.
  
  
• Access to healthcare.
  
  
• Understanding homework assignments that don't give adequate instructions.
  
  
• Preparing their child for a future of technology when they can't afford it at home and the schools don't offer it.
  
  

Those are all from conversations that I've had with parents. I'm sure there are many more obstacles parents face...obstacles that could be worked with and solved...if we just asked.

I'm really not trying to offer excuses. I don't want under-prepared kids thinking that graduating from high school means they're prepared when they're not. That is happening a lot these days and it's unfair to the kids as much as it is to our society. But I do think instead of failing them and considering them drop-outs at the last minute, we should be doing something different before it gets to that point. It's not fair to pass a kid through school and tell him/her that they are doing well only to let them get to their senior year and they can't pass a basic skills test.

WE, the people, are failing our kids.

We fail them when we don't provide them with the resources to keep them up with the times.

We fail them when we tell them their parents should be more involved, but their parents aren't sure how.

We fail them when we lower our standards for teachers in order to have warm bodies in the classrooms.

We fail them when we send the least qualified and least experienced teachers to the schools that need the most help.

We can choose to write it off as "not my problem" or we can get involved and be advocates whether our children are in that situation or not.

Illiteracy

A while back a lady called me at our offices. She explained to me that she needed some help. I believe she said she was around 50 years old. She had graduated from high school, but she couldn't read. She felt like people were taking advantage of her as they helped her decipher her bills. She wanted to be able to pay her own bills, to read her own statements. She said she had attended a literacy school for a while, but she wasn't catching on and I believe she ultimately quit. Her reading level was supposedly somewhere below first grade...yet she graduated from high school!! How does that happen??

After 11 years of working at Central Dallas, what I've found is that her situation isn't as far-fetched as I once thought it was. I remember when I first started working with kids here in Dallas. An 10-year old boy used to visit my apartment frequently. We tried to work on his reading skills. I was volunteering at his elementary school at the time. I'll never forget my conversation with the Assistant Principal at the time as we discussed "John's" inability to read in 4th grade. Her statement floored me. "Maybe he's reached his prime."

His prime????!!!!

At 10 years old???!!!!

You can imagine my incredulity! This child was not mentally challenged. Yet the school had decided he had reached his "prime."

Let me give yet another example:
Several years ago when I was running our University of Values summer program, I expected the teen workers to turn in journals every day. I couldn't believe the lack of writing skills of one of the 16-year old male teachers. I showed it to one of my teacher friends. As she looked at it, she commented that his skill levels were lower than some of the 3rd graders in her special ed classes!

Unfortunately, there are depressing stories after depressing stories of children not knowing how to read.

Yes, oftentimes there are reasons.

• Parents aren't always involved. Some are and some aren't--yet whether involved or not, some still end up with the same result of a having a child who struggles.
• I notice that many times parents recognize their own inability to educate their child and expect the school (the "experts") to educate their child. Some parents were in the same type of school district as a child and didn't get a great education themselves. It's not an excuse, but I think that when they don't know what to do, they expect someone who does know to do it.
• Some parents work long hours and aren't available to advocate for their child; some parents are dealing with addictions; and some parents ...well, I don't know...maybe they don't see the importance of advocating for their child.

Here's the thing, though. Regardless of what a parent does or doesn't do, a child deserves to be educated. They deserve to have that chance in life. We can sit around and talk about the parents and lament the fact that they don't do their job....OR we can begin to work toward a creative solution. I vote for the latter.

The bottom line is that children deserve to have an opportunity. And we need to be a society that makes sure that happens!