Getting out of the office is always the best thing I do. It's not the most productive in terms of what needs to get crossed off my to do list, but it oftentimes feels way more productive and beneficial than checking off the list of things I need to do for work.
So, I was happy to show off our programs on a tour. Guests are always impressed by the way all of our youth greet with a formal handshake, eye contact, and, "How are you today?" Because we expect the kids to greet every new person they see, it also challenges me to do the same. So, as we toured, I introduced myself to an adult who walked in.
She introduced herself as Rose Martin, David's mother. I knew immediately who she was talking about. David will be 6 years old next month. He is enrolled in the After-School Academy. I hear funny stories about David all the time because he answers with incessant stream of consciousness when you ask him a question. His stream of consciousness talking makes you think his brain is working so much faster than he can tell you, but he's going to keep talking until he gets his point across. Though David talks a lot, his verbal skills are not that great. He is a little difficult to understand. However, like just about any person, when you listen long enough, you begin to understand everything he says.
Knowing all of that, I never expected what Ms. Martin told me. After our introduction she explained she was there to pick up David. She went on to thank us for what we are doing. She explained that she had never been able to communicate with her son. For some reason, his verbal skills had always been delayed. When he got into school, they tested him as having the verbal skills of a 3-year old. She said for the longest time he could never communicate with her. She was frustrated as a parent because she wanted him to talk to her. She wanted him to be able to tell her what was wrong, but he simply couldn't verbally communicate.
Since he has been in the After-School Academy, she explained, his verbal skills have increased dramatically! She told me that his teacher was now thinking about moving him on up to the first grade (which, I'm guessing, is where he is supposed to be age-wise). They will be testing him for learning disabilities just to make sure he is developmentally ready. She thanked me several times for our program and for what it has done for her and her child.
I invited her to our Parent Academy that evening, but she explained she was just there to pick David up so she could run him over to his speech therapy place before she went off to school. Ms. Martin is working on her basics and preparing for nursing school. She is hoping to transfer to TWU in the fall in order to complete her degree.
Days like these encourage, inspire, and challenge me. It is because of and for Ms. Martin that I will go back to my office and continue to work on my to do list and figure out ways for us to measure our progress so that we can continue to exist.
If you would like to help make sure we can continue to exist, please consider donating to our Children's Education programs at this link: http://www.centraldallasministries.org/donate/index.htm (be sure "Children's Education" is designated)
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Where should I enroll my child?
An article in the New York Times finds that the gap between urban and suburban graduations rates is astounding.
So, if you had a choice, where would you want your child?
Problem is, most low-income parents don't have that choice.
Housing developments and low-income housing are usually concentrated in the city. Even if they weren't, it's often harder for families to choose to move to suburban areas due to their lack of transportation.
I hear a lot of judgment in our urban communities by people outside of the communities about what parents should/shouldn't be doing. But let me challenge that thinking.
If a parent has gone through an urban school, they are likely one of the statistics cited above. If they are one of the statistics that came out of the failed urban school systems, they likely don't have a level of education that allows them to move into high level jobs that would pay better, create benefits that would allow them to take paid vacation days to see to the needs of their child, and provide healthcare for them and their children that would create a healthier home.
A lower level of education also probably means that they may not be able to help their children with their academic needs...and are often embarrassed to admit this to their children, the school, or other people who may be able to help.
Going on these statistics, an average of 47% *did* graduate. Graduating doesn't always mean academically prepared. I know many people who have graduated from urban schools, yet still can't read or write. I can think of at least four right now. So, although there may be a 47% graduation rate, even less may be prepared to be successful in the workplace.
The majority of parents I've met are trying.
Unfortunately, they are stuck in a system that isn't providing them or their children a way out.
We can blame the parents for their parenting skills, their inability to help their children, their unwillingness to attend our meetings. But blame gets us nowhere. What are we doing to help the children? What are we doing to help ensure the next generation is able to be different?
"Blaming others conveniently lets us off the hook." ~Jawanza Kunjufu
"...the average high school graduation rate in the nation’s 50 largest cities was 53 percent, compared with 71 percent in the suburbs."
So, if you had a choice, where would you want your child?
Problem is, most low-income parents don't have that choice.
Housing developments and low-income housing are usually concentrated in the city. Even if they weren't, it's often harder for families to choose to move to suburban areas due to their lack of transportation.
I hear a lot of judgment in our urban communities by people outside of the communities about what parents should/shouldn't be doing. But let me challenge that thinking.
If a parent has gone through an urban school, they are likely one of the statistics cited above. If they are one of the statistics that came out of the failed urban school systems, they likely don't have a level of education that allows them to move into high level jobs that would pay better, create benefits that would allow them to take paid vacation days to see to the needs of their child, and provide healthcare for them and their children that would create a healthier home.
A lower level of education also probably means that they may not be able to help their children with their academic needs...and are often embarrassed to admit this to their children, the school, or other people who may be able to help.
Going on these statistics, an average of 47% *did* graduate. Graduating doesn't always mean academically prepared. I know many people who have graduated from urban schools, yet still can't read or write. I can think of at least four right now. So, although there may be a 47% graduation rate, even less may be prepared to be successful in the workplace.
The majority of parents I've met are trying.
Unfortunately, they are stuck in a system that isn't providing them or their children a way out.
We can blame the parents for their parenting skills, their inability to help their children, their unwillingness to attend our meetings. But blame gets us nowhere. What are we doing to help the children? What are we doing to help ensure the next generation is able to be different?
"Blaming others conveniently lets us off the hook." ~Jawanza Kunjufu
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Would you like some knowledge with that diploma?
A friend was telling me about a professor at a top-notch college who gives every one of his students an "A".
I cringed.
Another professor letting students slide. Ugh.
But then she went on to explain. He gives everyone an "A" in his class, but they have to keep re-doing every assignment until it is "A" quality. They don't have to take the "A". They can settle for a "B" or "C" or any other grade. But every one of them has an opportunity to receive an "A" in his class, if they so desire.
It makes for a lot of work on the teacher...but just think if every one of our kids were given that same opportunity. Instead of testing a kid at the end of the year and then holding him back for failing the TAKS (state standardized tests), the child would, instead, be given the opportunity on EVERY assignment throughout the year to correct their paper until they achieved "A" level work...correction after correction after correction.
It's not a cop-out; it's a lot of work. In a scenario like that, the kids (and the teacher) have to work very hard to ensure that every child knows what they're doing. It also makes it easier (for the teacher and the child) later in the year because after re-doing it so many times they can gain an understanding of that single skill they're missing. Once the kids master their skill and realize they can't just "get by," their resulting assignments will be better...which won't take as much time to grade. So the work load is definitely heavy for both teacher and child, but when perfection is the end result, it bumps the standards up and makes it easier in the long run...for both student and teacher.
If everyone participated in that philosophy, I have a feeling there would be a lot fewer students graduating from high school taking remediation classes in colleges and a lot more adults prepared for a competitive workplace. It could benefit employers tremendously.
Maybe then a diploma might mean more than it does today. Report cards might mean something. It might change the way we look at education.
We might be able to guarantee the value of a high school diploma. Unfortunately, right now that's often not the case.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Public schools and successful students
Several years ago I had an 11th grade student proudly bring his research paper to me with 100/100/100/80 written across the title page. There were no other marks on his entire paper.
As I looked at the 5-page research paper (including the title page), I saw incomplete sentences, capitalized words in the middle of sentences, and numerous grammatical errors. There was no explanation for the teacher's grading. In the student's mind, he was proud of the straight A's that he had received.
My review of the paper told me it was *maybe* third grade work.
I hated to burst his bubble, but felt that he deserved to know that he had not achieved perfection to the point that he had nothing left to learn. Instead, he was way behind his counterparts in other areas of the city. He needed to know what he was up against.
After seeing that paper, I felt a responsibility to address the school--not just for this particular child, but for him and every other student that was taking classes at that school and with that teacher.
I was told I needed to meet with the curriculum instructor because the principal wasn't available to meet with me (though during the meeting, the principal walked through several times). The teacher did not show up at the meeting, though I was told that he would be there. I was never informed as to anything that happened to the teacher or their curriculum as a result of that meeting.
My point was then, and still is now, that we are doing a disservice to our kids by trying to inflate their grades and convince them that they are doing well when they aren't. Educators and administrators do parents a disservice by trying to convince them that their school is "recognized" when their child isn't performing well.
My experience with parents is that they want their children to be able to achieve. They are concerned that their children will be like other people they know who have graduated from high school and still can't read well (I know several people like this myself).
I know teachers and administrators want to keep their jobs...and I know right now is a tenuous time. But convincing people how great they are and being defensive about their shortcomings is not the way to go. It may help them keep their job, but creates a distrust from parents who think their child is on track and then finds out later he/she isn't. It creates a society of children who think they are doing better than they really are. It creates groups of students who want to go to college and think they are prepared for it, then realize they have to be enrolled for a year or more in developmental classes and then find out they can't meet the expectations of college work.
I know that teachers and administrators want to keep their jobs...but their job and first commitment is supposed to be to our children...our future leaders. Is there a way to do both?
As I looked at the 5-page research paper (including the title page), I saw incomplete sentences, capitalized words in the middle of sentences, and numerous grammatical errors. There was no explanation for the teacher's grading. In the student's mind, he was proud of the straight A's that he had received.
My review of the paper told me it was *maybe* third grade work.
I hated to burst his bubble, but felt that he deserved to know that he had not achieved perfection to the point that he had nothing left to learn. Instead, he was way behind his counterparts in other areas of the city. He needed to know what he was up against.
After seeing that paper, I felt a responsibility to address the school--not just for this particular child, but for him and every other student that was taking classes at that school and with that teacher.
I was told I needed to meet with the curriculum instructor because the principal wasn't available to meet with me (though during the meeting, the principal walked through several times). The teacher did not show up at the meeting, though I was told that he would be there. I was never informed as to anything that happened to the teacher or their curriculum as a result of that meeting.
My point was then, and still is now, that we are doing a disservice to our kids by trying to inflate their grades and convince them that they are doing well when they aren't. Educators and administrators do parents a disservice by trying to convince them that their school is "recognized" when their child isn't performing well.
My experience with parents is that they want their children to be able to achieve. They are concerned that their children will be like other people they know who have graduated from high school and still can't read well (I know several people like this myself).
I know teachers and administrators want to keep their jobs...and I know right now is a tenuous time. But convincing people how great they are and being defensive about their shortcomings is not the way to go. It may help them keep their job, but creates a distrust from parents who think their child is on track and then finds out later he/she isn't. It creates a society of children who think they are doing better than they really are. It creates groups of students who want to go to college and think they are prepared for it, then realize they have to be enrolled for a year or more in developmental classes and then find out they can't meet the expectations of college work.
I know that teachers and administrators want to keep their jobs...but their job and first commitment is supposed to be to our children...our future leaders. Is there a way to do both?
Monday, March 31, 2008
Channeling anger to benefit the community
I received this email from one of our college students. I thought it was powerful that despite her hectic schedule and her own fight to overcome her own learning disability, she sees the need to give back to a community similar to the one where she grew up. I love her attitude, her passion, and the way she is channeling her anger.
I bolded a statement in her email to which I think we should all listen closer.
I bolded a statement in her email to which I think we should all listen closer.
Hi Ms. Janet,
I became a mentor for this seventh grade girl at DESA middle school and it's hard work trying to get these kids to think about their future. They only know what they see at home and around them and are so ignorant to the potential and possibility that education brings. When I've talked to her it's like seeing myself in 6th grade, clueless,not interested in the possibilities that education brings. Public education is truly failing kids in the inner city and it angers me that people are so indifferent to it. Anyway, let me get off of my soapbox, I just wanted to say Hello and thank you for being one who cares. I'm doing fine, school continues to be hard but I guess from now on that's the way I'll have to play the game, and mentoring has really made me aware of one of the reasons why anger is a gift that I have managed to turn into a positive driving force to get to this goal that I have made for myself. life is good.
So, lucky for me, classes have slowed down a little and by a little I mean I can at least write this e-mail without thinking that I'm cutting into my study time. I don't know if I got the hang of it, but it's become a way of life not having a life that is. I get up at 8 in the morning and go directly to my desk and study until 1 or 2 am everyday. Having this ADHD problem has helped me grow and try to refine my concentration. I try not to think about how much of an easier time others in my class are having with the material and it no longer is a competition. I think before the anger was directed at being competitive but it kind of finally hit me that I am in an incredible position to make a difference and that brings me more satisfaction than beating classmates in some recalling exam. I am learning because learning is one of the most rewarding things for me and if it takes me longer or I fail then even then learning has not ceased and I am ok with that now. Becoming the best physician for my patients is all that matters to me now and if it doesn't reflect on some exam then it only means that I'm still growing.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
...and some excel in spite of the odds!
As I looked over my last post, I realized I didn't give a complete picture. I described those whose past sometimes disables them...or at the most, they make a life for themselves by getting by. Don't get me wrong...those who make ends meet and "get by" are great people. I have no intention of short-changing my friends.
But I left out an important part of our communities. I failed to mention those who see what's around them and are determined to move beyond. They are determined not to be a statistic. They refuse to allow us to categorize them with a number that says who they are and what their life is about. Sometimes it's the adults who figured out a new way to hope; other times it's the kids who dig their heels in and refuse to let the people around them define them. For some it means college; for others, it means a full-time job; still others, it means staying home to take care of their children.
Kieva called last night, scolding me for not doing a better job of keeping up with her (you can read more about Kieva in previous posts here). She wanted to inform me that she is starting grad school on Monday and will be working toward a Master's in Public Administration. She explained that these days getting a bachelor's is what everyone is doing and she needs to be a step ahead of the rest.
When she struggled through college, people told her she wouldn't make it. I'm sure she heard that in high school as well. Kieva knew in her mind she would. She knew she could prove them wrong. And she has.
I know others like Kieva who take the path of defining their own life in spite of the naysayers around them. Sometimes I forget because they are off doing their own thing. They've forged their own path and have found other avenues of support and encouragement. I pray that their hope and determination continues.
Life is not all bleak in the inner city. :)
But I left out an important part of our communities. I failed to mention those who see what's around them and are determined to move beyond. They are determined not to be a statistic. They refuse to allow us to categorize them with a number that says who they are and what their life is about. Sometimes it's the adults who figured out a new way to hope; other times it's the kids who dig their heels in and refuse to let the people around them define them. For some it means college; for others, it means a full-time job; still others, it means staying home to take care of their children.
Kieva called last night, scolding me for not doing a better job of keeping up with her (you can read more about Kieva in previous posts here). She wanted to inform me that she is starting grad school on Monday and will be working toward a Master's in Public Administration. She explained that these days getting a bachelor's is what everyone is doing and she needs to be a step ahead of the rest.
When she struggled through college, people told her she wouldn't make it. I'm sure she heard that in high school as well. Kieva knew in her mind she would. She knew she could prove them wrong. And she has.
I know others like Kieva who take the path of defining their own life in spite of the naysayers around them. Sometimes I forget because they are off doing their own thing. They've forged their own path and have found other avenues of support and encouragement. I pray that their hope and determination continues.
Life is not all bleak in the inner city. :)
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Success...without my help
I'm sad, disappointed, and somewhat perplexed today.
I get excited about kids going off to college and am amazed by their perserverance and determination. I know they have so many dreams that they want to fulfill. But the complexities of poverty seems to keep getting in the way.
While some of the young adults I know are continuing to perservere in their college education, I have talked to three in the last few weeks who are not, for various reasons--all financially related.
Situation #1: Student decides to go to a private school. As she gets ready to enter her senior year, she can now no longer find no one to co-sign for her loan (because each semester she exhausts all of the loans that can be received in her name). She refuses to go any "less" of a university and insists on completing her private school education. Therefore, she is not enrolled in school this semester.
Situation #2: Student is going to a community college where financial aid takes care of his college expenses. Last semester he ended up dropping a class or two because the promotion he took at his job and the money associated with it became more important. This semester he is not going to school. He says it's financial, but refuses to tell me more.
Situation #3: Student is going to a 4-year university. He failed a class last semester. He said it wasn't like he didn't try, but the class was very difficult for him. Because he failed that class (in addition to getting low grades previously as well), financial aid would not pay for his classes this semester. They have told him he needs to sit out a semester.
I'm sure there are more situations...some that I don't even know about yet. Part of me is frustrated because they refuse to listen. I know that each of them have (or had) cell phones. I know that one bought a car and a "system" to go along with it. I know that one has an addiction to Jordan tennis shoes and always has nice, new clothes. I know that one works minimal hours, even when on school breaks.
Each have told me in so many words, "You don't understand," and none of them will explain to me what I don't understand. Each of them have decided that they will work this out on their own. I wonder if they play on the fact that they know "you don't understand" bothers me. I realize I don't understand their life--what it has been or what it is. But I also know that I have learned something about saving and spending money. I have learned stuff about how the financial aid system works.
I have read and heard what people say about how important "things" are to someone who hasn't had the opportunity to have a lot of "things" throughout their life. As people have told me, maybe it's easier for me to give up "things" because I've always had them. I know that each of the three I mentioned have had to go without things and make difficult decisions on what they get/don't get. I also know that each of them have contributed to making bad loans to friends and family with money they receive from financial aid.
I worry about them. I worry about their decision to buy shoes or pay for $50-$75/month cell phones and not understanding that every little bit they spend on "things" takes away from the money they need to survive, pay for college, etc. I worry that they will "make it," but that they will continue just "getting by." I worry that their "getting by" now will result in them becoming one of the statistics who don't ever complete college. I worry that the times I have helped them financially because I wanted them to have similar opportunities and access as other kids has really just been a bottomless pit that hasn't done anything to help...and may have even done some harm. They aren't like all of the other kids; their obstacles are often greater...but not impossible.
I don't know that there is any way I can help them because they will no longer allow me in. They don't always like what I have to say so I guess that's why they have decided they will figure it out on their own.
I hope and pray they do. I hope that their decision to figure it out on their own doesn't result in them being stuck in an endless cycle. I hope they go to wise people to find the answers they need. I hope they choose to access the many resources available in our communities, offered by so many non-profits (free classes such as budgeting, home-buying, scholarship opportunities, etc.--from what I've seen, most people often *don't* access these classes even when they say it's something they want and need...I have yet to figure out why.).
Recognizing when and how to let go.... boy, that's difficult.
Success is so much sweeter when it is accomplished without outside help. I pray that they succeed according to whatever standards they have set for themselves. I pray that they will ask for help if/when they need it. I pray that I will accept whatever they decide and will recognize the balance of pushing them and letting go.
I get excited about kids going off to college and am amazed by their perserverance and determination. I know they have so many dreams that they want to fulfill. But the complexities of poverty seems to keep getting in the way.
While some of the young adults I know are continuing to perservere in their college education, I have talked to three in the last few weeks who are not, for various reasons--all financially related.
Situation #1: Student decides to go to a private school. As she gets ready to enter her senior year, she can now no longer find no one to co-sign for her loan (because each semester she exhausts all of the loans that can be received in her name). She refuses to go any "less" of a university and insists on completing her private school education. Therefore, she is not enrolled in school this semester.
Situation #2: Student is going to a community college where financial aid takes care of his college expenses. Last semester he ended up dropping a class or two because the promotion he took at his job and the money associated with it became more important. This semester he is not going to school. He says it's financial, but refuses to tell me more.
Situation #3: Student is going to a 4-year university. He failed a class last semester. He said it wasn't like he didn't try, but the class was very difficult for him. Because he failed that class (in addition to getting low grades previously as well), financial aid would not pay for his classes this semester. They have told him he needs to sit out a semester.
I'm sure there are more situations...some that I don't even know about yet. Part of me is frustrated because they refuse to listen. I know that each of them have (or had) cell phones. I know that one bought a car and a "system" to go along with it. I know that one has an addiction to Jordan tennis shoes and always has nice, new clothes. I know that one works minimal hours, even when on school breaks.
Each have told me in so many words, "You don't understand," and none of them will explain to me what I don't understand. Each of them have decided that they will work this out on their own. I wonder if they play on the fact that they know "you don't understand" bothers me. I realize I don't understand their life--what it has been or what it is. But I also know that I have learned something about saving and spending money. I have learned stuff about how the financial aid system works.
I have read and heard what people say about how important "things" are to someone who hasn't had the opportunity to have a lot of "things" throughout their life. As people have told me, maybe it's easier for me to give up "things" because I've always had them. I know that each of the three I mentioned have had to go without things and make difficult decisions on what they get/don't get. I also know that each of them have contributed to making bad loans to friends and family with money they receive from financial aid.
I worry about them. I worry about their decision to buy shoes or pay for $50-$75/month cell phones and not understanding that every little bit they spend on "things" takes away from the money they need to survive, pay for college, etc. I worry that they will "make it," but that they will continue just "getting by." I worry that their "getting by" now will result in them becoming one of the statistics who don't ever complete college. I worry that the times I have helped them financially because I wanted them to have similar opportunities and access as other kids has really just been a bottomless pit that hasn't done anything to help...and may have even done some harm. They aren't like all of the other kids; their obstacles are often greater...but not impossible.
I don't know that there is any way I can help them because they will no longer allow me in. They don't always like what I have to say so I guess that's why they have decided they will figure it out on their own.
I hope and pray they do. I hope that their decision to figure it out on their own doesn't result in them being stuck in an endless cycle. I hope they go to wise people to find the answers they need. I hope they choose to access the many resources available in our communities, offered by so many non-profits (free classes such as budgeting, home-buying, scholarship opportunities, etc.--from what I've seen, most people often *don't* access these classes even when they say it's something they want and need...I have yet to figure out why.).
Recognizing when and how to let go.... boy, that's difficult.
Success is so much sweeter when it is accomplished without outside help. I pray that they succeed according to whatever standards they have set for themselves. I pray that they will ask for help if/when they need it. I pray that I will accept whatever they decide and will recognize the balance of pushing them and letting go.
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